Small Groups

“When two of you get together on anything at all on earth and make a prayer of it, my Father in heaven goes into action. And when two or three of you are together because of me, you can be sure that I'll be there." (Matthew 18:18-20 MSG)

Private devotion can be beneficial in many ways. Yet, there is also power in praying with others. When two or three gather together with the express purpose of focusing on God, His Spirit will be present with them.

Small groups can promote engagement and closeness. They can hold each other accountable and be a source of encouragement. As we share our faith and insights, we can learn from each other. Large groups, on the other hand, allow individuals to be spectators if they choose--to be less involved, to show up, but stay disengaged.

When you are part of a close-knit group, you count on each other. If one member decides not to participate, it affects everyone else. It is important to share our perspectives, experiences, mistakes, and even our pain. Members must be able to trust each other and confide in each other.  It is hard to recognize our own weaknesses. We must be able to call each other out when needed. A small group of faith-filled companions who meet in prayer regularly is invaluable. If you have the opportunity to be a part of such a gathering, do not take it for granted. God is present and at work; join in. 

Lord, you have promised to be present and active whenever two or three gather because of You. May we use every opportunity to partake in your Spirit.  

The Discipline of Solitude

“When you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father in private.” (Matthew 6:6 NLT)

Solitary prayer is difficult. We are distracted by a thousand thoughts and worries. It feels like an unproductive waste of time. We get bored or sleepy. In a short while, most of us are ready to give up.  This is why church services or other religious activities are more popular than private prayer. We are more likely to show up and pay attention when there are others watching. However, the temptation to perform is also higher when there is an audience.

Humans are naturally self-absorbed. As a result, our petitions are often centered on our needs and wants. When we are with large groups of other petitioners, our focus remains on earthly concerns. We are also more likely to become more influenced by other worshippers than by God.

Solitude allows God to guide us past our obsessive preoccupations. Once we learn to be alone with God for prolonged intervals, we look forward to this genuine time of devotion and intimacy. We are finally able to experience the presence of God. Our focus shifts. We take off our masks. Our souls stop chattering. We surrender. We are wrapped in wonder. 

Lord, we want to be alone with You.  

Divine Therapy

“You revive my drooping head, my cup brims with blessing. Your beauty and love chase after me every day of my life. I’m back home in the house of God for the rest of my life.” (Psalm 23:5-6 MSG)

Fr. Thomas Keating, a contemporary theologian and philosopher, is known for his teachings on contemplative prayer. According to Keating, we develop a false image of ourselves to cope with vulnerability. Humans have an instinctual need for security, esteem, and control. Whenever we feel a sense of deprivation or fear, these compulsions are magnified. The ‘false self’ is fed or energized by our exaggerated need for security, respect, and control. We spend most of our lives pursuing affirmation and power in an effort to compensate for our insecurities and vulnerabilities.

Keating came up with a method to free ourselves from this false self. He describes contemplative prayer as a form of divine therapy--an inner experience of the divine presence. We no longer have to put up a defensive front, trying to meet our needs on our own. Our underlying goodness is revealed underneath layers and layers  of false images that we have inadvertently created and maintained. As we center our hearts and minds on God, we allow Him to heal our unconscious. Once we acknowledge that God is the only true source of security, affection, and power, he clears out the masks, props, and costumes. He revives our true self. He pursues us in unrelenting love until we are able to experience the divine presence. 

Lord, You are the Divine Therapist. We want to experience Your presence. Heal our unconscious. Restore our true selves.

Source of Forgiveness

“For this is my blood, which confirms the covenant between God and his people. It is poured out as a sacrifice to forgive the sins of many.” (Matthew 26:28 NLT)

When we think about forgiveness, we focus more on those who have offended us rather than on our own trespasses. We imagine it must not be that difficult for a merciful God to pardon our sins. We take God’s forgiveness for granted.

I know a young woman who moved to teach at an inner city school as part of a student loan forgiveness program. It was a dangerous and difficult job. What if a friend volunteered to take her place? Or what if a friend were willing to sell his home to pay off your mortgage? Or if debt collectors were hounding you daily, and someone made huge sacrifices to erase your debts? If someone pays what we owe, it is natural to feel grateful and humbled.

Jesus suffered and sacrificed to make things right for us. His body was broken and His blood was poured out so that our sins may be forgiven. This is such a familiar concept to Christians. We hear it so often that its significance is lost on us. Forgiveness is always costly. Let us not ever take it for granted!

Jesus, we shall always be indebted to You for erasing our debts. We are grateful, humbled, and honored by your sacrifice.

Longing for Belonging

“As the deer longs for streams of water, so I long for you, O God.” (Psalm 42:1 NLT)

The desire to belong, to be wanted and needed, is inherent in human souls. God placed this drive in us so that we may pursue Him, just as He pursues us. However, we often attempt to fill this need with  god-substitutes instead of with God.

“We made Jesus into a mere religion instead of a journey toward union with God and everything else. This shift made us into a religion of ‘belonging and believing’ instead of a religion of transformation.” (Richard Rohr)

Our longing to belong can only be satisfied by an intimate relationship with Christ. Yet, we try to fulfill this need by joining churches or socializing with other Christians. We attempt to find groups that fit our existing ideas. We settle for relationships with peers who share our beliefs. We are like teenagers who feel more comfortable on group dates. This immature stage of faith requires less from us. Intimacy demands maturity, attentiveness, and engagement. Those who are mature in their faith cannot compartmentalize their commitment. All aspects of their life will show evidence of their fullness and readiness. We become attentive when we want something desperately. We are finally ready to relinquish our pre-existing ideas. When we long for union with God above all else, our perceptions and attitudes are transformed. Our hearts become molded until we fit His intentions.

Lord, may we lay aside all substitutes as we pursue you wholeheartedly.

Walls of Unforgiveness

"Master, how many times do I forgive a brother or sister who hurts me? Seven?" Jesus replied, "Seven! Hardly. Try seventy times seven.” (Matthew 18:21-22 MSG)

Pain avoidance is a natural instinct. When someone has hurt us, we try to build a protective wall between us and our abuser. Resentment gives us a sense of power and superiority. Thus, unforgiveness is often used as a defense mechanism to give ourselves some space from the source of our pain.

Forgiving someone who has hurt us can make us feel vulnerable. We are uncertain if we will be taken advantage of again. We may have forgiven those who have trespassed against us, but we don’t want them to see it as an invitation to continue trespassing. Jesus asks us to repeatedly forgive our abusers, but He doesn’t ask us to continue to  trust them. He asks us to pardon our debtors, but not to continue to fund their schemes.

Forgiveness often requires a certain amount of processing time. It is also aided by safe distances, different perspectives, and compassionate responses. Yet, we can extend forgiveness only so far under our own power. Even though we may find it difficult to trust others, we can learn to trust God unconditionally. Divine love, infused through us, is essential. Love allows us to pardon the unpardonable, release resentment, and rebuild healthy boundaries. 

Lord, help us to  take down the defensive walls of unforgiveness and replace them  with wholesome safeguards.

Forgiveness

“Keep us forgiven with you and forgiving others.” (Luke 11:4 MSG)

Forgiveness is defined as a release of resentment against those who have harmed you. Unforgiveness leads to corrosive bitterness which can be even more damaging in the long term than the original offense. Thus, letting go of resentment unbinds our spirits, freeing us to move on to a fuller life.

Forgiving is not the same as forgetting. It doesn’t mean excusing or minimizing the offense.

“While God commands us to forgive others, he never told us to keep trusting those who violated our trust or even to like being around those who hurt us.”  (Rose Sweet, Focus on the Family )

We may choose to reconcile, to replace negative feelings with positive ones, but we don’t have to erase the memory or pretend it never happened. We can remind ourselves what we learned from the experience and how we have grown from it. It is inevitable that the pain will mold our perspectives, but we do not have to let it define us.

God’s love enables us to forgive others who have harmed us. When we remember that God continually forgives our iniquities, we are more willing to extend grace to those who have hurt us. As we learn to release our resentments, we gain peace and a sense of closure. The barriers of unforgiveness and bitterness are removed so that we can move forward and grow closer to God.

Lord, forgive us and help us to forgive others.