Essentials for a Trip

When I go on a road trip, there are a few essentials that I make sure to set out in front. I sit in the passenger seat with the atlas open in my lap, the smart phone GPS, in one cup holder and a 2^nd Garmin GPS on the dashboard. Occasionally, one of the devices will suggest an alternate route. That’s when I freak out!

“I have set the Lord always before me.
Because he is at my right hand,
I will not be shaken.” (Ps. 16:8 NIV)

I have set the Lord before me -- This line made an impression on me when I read it today. There is an intentionality about it. I purposefully set all my resources before me as I mapped out my direction for the trip. What if I set the Lord before me before I take on any venture? I wouldn’t be shaken by unexpected changes. I would be at peace knowing that God is right beside me.

I can’t help but think of the following lines from the old song:

“The world behind me, the cross before me…no turning back, no turning back.”

Divine Romance

Phil Wickham wrote the following song in 15 minutes during a sound check. It’s called Divine Romance. Here are the lyrics:

The fullness of Your grace is here with me
The richness of Your beauty’s all I see
The brightness of Your glory has arrived
In Your presence God, I’m completely satisfied

For You I sing I dance
Rejoice in this divine romance
Lift my heart and my hands
To show my love, to show my love

A deep deep flood, an Ocean flows from You
Of deep deep love, yeah it’s filling up the room
Your innocent blood, has washed my guilty life
In Your presence God I’m completely satisfied

To listen to this song on you tube, click this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QF0p4I9a1nw

I’ve had this song stuck in my head for the last week. I can’t stop humming the lines, “In Your presence God, I’m completely satisfied--For You I sing I dance--Rejoice in this divine romance”. 

I read the following verses in Psalms the other day:

“One day spent in your house, this beautiful place of worship, beats thousands spent on Greek island beaches.” (Ps. 84:10 MSG)

Being in God’s presence is more satisfying than any vacation. Melt into His arms…Be absorbed into His love…

Everyone is Wounded

I read the following on a friend’s blog ( http://bobales.blogspot.com/)

“When I look at my poor garments
My poor endowments
My stumblings up a hill as
I view others going the other direction,
Smiling on the downward slope,
Gliding well-toned in gossamer.”
(excerpt from -A David-Rework- by Fieldfleur)

In a few lines, she expresses lyrically what would take me paragraphs to say.

At some time or another, we all feel that our life is an uphill struggle in tattered clothes, while others seem to be coasting downhill looking like they just stepped out of a magazine.

Some of my friends have external wounds. Their hardships evoke compassion. Unfortunately, sometimes it also elicits pity. They don’t have the opportunity to heal in privacy.

Others have internal wounds. They appear fine on the outside. Their injuries might be in private areas that they are too embarrassed to share. Or their pain might be so deep that even they don’t know the origin of it. They suffer privately, deprived of compassion and comfort.

The longer I live, I realize that everyone has wounds, everyone suffers. Some people go through more at certain times, but no one is immune from pain. So, next time you see someone who seems well put-together, remind yourself that she probably suffers in private. And when you see someone with an obvious external wound, be compassionate and give her space to heal privately.

“Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world." (John 16:33 NLT)

Weak Knees

One of my friends has a history of heart problems. When we walk, she pays attention to any discomfort that might indicate that she is putting strain on her heart. The other day, I was running by myself when I noticed this sudden sharp pain in my shoulder and back. I haven’t had any heart problems before, so I wasn’t worried by it. I just kept running, and the pain went away after a while.

On the other hand, I have had knee problems. I was jumping on a trampoline the other day and noticed my knees were hurting after a few seconds. I stopped jumping immediately. I am protective of my knees. Even the slightest tinge of pain or discomfort gets my attention.

We are all defensive of our weak areas, whether they be physical or emotional. If a part of us has been injured, we tend to shield it from further pain. If we have been a victim of a crime, or lost a loved one, or gone through a divorce, or infidelity, or financial strain, or addictions, or a natural disaster, we tend to be fearful and guarded when we face even the remotest possibility of it happening again.

When we live defensively, we put up walls. We cannot surrender or submit to God’s power. This is not how we are intended to live.
“I can't tell you how much I long for you to enter this wide-open, spacious life. We didn't fence you in. The smallness you feel comes from within you. Your lives aren't small, but you're living them in a small way. I'm speaking as plainly as I can and with great affection. Open up your lives. Live openly and expansively!” (2 Cor. 6:10-12 MSG)

Goal and Purpose

Jesus said: “The Father is the goal and purpose of my life.” (John 14:28 MSG)

Jesus knew where he was heading. He had a clear vision of his route and his destination. He didn’t have to have elaborate objective statements written down. This one line encompassed it all…The Father is the goal and purpose of my life.

This verse always evokes mixed emotions in me. Sometimes I get teary-eyed while reading it, because I know I fall short. I’ve highlighted it in my Bible (only the Message translation has it in this form). I’ve written it out and attached it to my fridge. I keep trying to imprint it into my brain hoping that this could be my life’s objective.

It’s like my eyes can see the target, yet my aim is off. I’m easily distracted.
"Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.” (Matt: 7:7 NLT)

Lord, I ask, I seek, I knock…imprint Your spirit within me. May the Father be the goal and purpose of my life.

Significance

The Apostle Paul had some things to say about what is significant:

“What matters most to me is to finish what God started: the job the Master Jesus gave me of letting everyone I meet know all about this incredibly extravagant generosity of God.” (Acts 20:24 MSG)

What matters most in your life?

Is it to finish what God started? To let everyone know about God’s grace?

Or is it to finish what you’ve started? To make your mark. To make sure that everyone thinks that your life was significant?

What matters most to me?

I wish I could be as sure about my motives as Paul was about his. If I’m honest, I would have to say that there are a few other things that are a bigger priority to me than to help others understand the extravagant generosity of God.

Come Holy Spirit, do your work in me. May your purpose be my driving force.

Walkabout

Australian aborigines are known for their walkabouts--solitary, spiritual journeys into the wilderness. They search for eternal truths while tracing their ancestral history.

My life is one long walkabout. The quest for wisdom, insight, meaning, purpose, and significance occupy most of my free time. However, I don’t really have much free time, so I’m always trying to find meaning in mundane daily activities and observations.

I remember mentioning my search for significance to a friend, and she asked me the following question: Are you searching for significance or are you searching to be significant.

I had to think about this for a while. If all my searching is for my self-actualization, what I am actually seeking is to be significant. Most of us wonder about meaning and purpose. However, what we really want to know is, “Is my life meaningful?” “Do I have a purpose?” If our desire to make a difference, to have an impact, springs from our need to be important, then what we are actually pursuing is self-worth and self-enrichment.

Judo Philosophy

I’ve had the Bible verse on a sticky-note on my laptop for the last few weeks:

“Human defiance only
Enhances your glory,
For you use it as a weapon.” (Ps. 76:10 NLT)

My initial interpretation of this verse was this: offensive attacks can still be turned around by God for HIS glory. So even when we are under attack, we can be assured that God has a counter-move already planned.

Yet, as I kept reading it over, it brought to mind the philosophy of Judo.

Judo is a martial art that originated in Japan. Judo means ‘gentle way’. The principles of Judo include:

-Maximum efficiency and minimum effort
-Mutual welfare and benefit
-Gentleness controls hardness

I’ve read that in Judo, for the first few months you learn to fall without getting injured. You learn to throw your opponent off-balance by not resisting, by evading, by adjusting your position, by giving-way, by not meeting force head-on.

“This is to say, for performing any task (physical or otherwise), there will be a precise opportunity (or timing) when one's effort can most effectively be applied. The judo training is to master the alertness to detect such an opportunity and seize that instance to exert oneself to use one's own force most effectively. By learning and mastering the judo's essence from experience, we can always maintain composure, make decisions clearly, and foster self-esteem throughout our living in this complex society.”
.....translated from Matsutaro Shibazaki, Judo (1974, pp. 11-12)

The philosophy behind Judo has many real-life applications. Sometimes the most efficient way to handle opposition is with softness, non-resistance, and deflection. Stay alert for the perfect time, throw the attacker off-balance, use the opponent’s force as leverage to defend yourselves, and learn to fall without getting injured.
   

Streams in the Sahel

One of my favorite devotionals is Streams in the Desert by Mrs. Charles Cowman. This little book got me through some of the hardest, driest periods of my life.

The Sahel is a geographical area in Africa. It is the transitional zone between the Sahara Desert and the savanna region to the south. During the rainy season, the Sahel is home to grazing animals, shrubs, and grass. Recent droughts and inappropriate agricultural use have caused desertification--the fertile land is transformed into a desert.

God provides us with streams in our Sahels--the transitional, marginally fertile times of our lives. These streams might come in the form of good friends, inspiring books, a peaceful retreat, time for reflection, an opportunity for service, a creative outlet, or moments of grace. Drink deeply of these streams during the rainy season. Swim in them. Soak up the moisture through every pore while you can. Fend off the desertification of your soul.

“When the poor and needy search for water and there is none,
and their tongues are parched from thirst,
then I, the Lord, will answer them.
I, the God of Israel, will never abandon them.
I will open up rivers for them on the high plateaus.
I will give them fountains of water in the valleys.
I will fill the desert with pools of water.
Rivers fed by springs will flow across the parched ground.
I will plant trees in the barren desert—
cedar, acacia, myrtle, olive, cypress, fir, and pine.
I am doing this so all who see this miracle
will understand what it means—
that it is the Lord who has done this,
the Holy One of Israel who created it.” (Isaiah 41:18-20 NLT)

My Tomatoes

I picked 4 cherry tomatoes from my backyard today. I was so pleased with them. I ate one and saved the rest to show off… ahem… I mean, share with the rest of the family. I thought about taking a picture of them and posting it on face book. Here was the fruit of my work. My produce, which I had grown all by myself.

Well…not really. My friend, JW, planted these seeds in small plastic trays, months ago, while the ground outside was still frozen. She gave me these plants at just the right time, when both the ground and the seedlings were ready. Another friend, DH, showed me how often to water it and fertilize it. Nature did the rest.

God appointed several individuals to contribute to the growth of these little cherry tomatoes. Similarly, He arranges people and circumstances to nurture each of us, just as He calls us to water and fertilize others. Nothing grows by itself.

“It's not the one who plants or the one who waters who is at the center of this process, but God, who makes things grow. Planting and watering are menial servant jobs at minimum wages. What makes them worth doing is the God we are serving. You happen to be God's field in which we are working.” (1 Cor. 3:7-9 MSG)

What happens when we ignore the call to take care of someone? What happens when we refuse to accept nourishment from others? Delayed development. Stunted growth.

So let us cultivate and nurture each other as we grow in Christ.

Prescriptions

“You can never give another person what you have found, but you can cause him to have a desire for it.” (from My Utmost for His Highest-- by Oswald Chambers)

In my search for truth, I discover faith. I try to share what I have found with others. It doesn’t work. What God has prescribed for me is specific for my healing. I shouldn’t try to share my prescription with others. I can reveal my woundedness, share the details of my healing process. This may cause others around me to desire healing.

I cannot slice a portion of my faith and share it like a slice of pie. However, I may be able to make others want a slice of the pie while I’m savoring it.

Similarly, I may be able to influence others to desire a relationship with God. It depends on whether I treat faith like medicine or pie. I usually have an unpleasant expression while I gulp down my pills. I know I have to take my medicine, but it gets stuck in my throat and makes me want to gag. Whereas, when I’m eating pie, I close my eyes and have an expression of joy and satisfaction. I take my medicine because I know I should. I eat pie because I crave it.

If my relationship with God is based on obligation and duty, I won’t be able to influence others to desire such a relationship. On the other hand, if my faith is based on love, joy, peace, and a craving for God, this might make others hunger for a similar relationship.

“The Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” (Galatians 5:22 NLT)

Approaching Infinity

“For they did not believe God

Or trust him to care for them.” (Ps. 78:22 NLT)

Life is like a multifactorial word problem. We consider all the variables. We make calculations. Yet things don’t always turn out the way we expect.

Sometimes we forget to account for the God factor.

In mathematics, the symbol, ¥ , stands for infinity.

¥ + 10 = ¥

¥ + 1000000 = ¥

Since nothing really equals infinity, mathematicians use the phrase approaching infinity ( à ¥ ) to express these limitless calculations.

God is like this infinite factor. No matter what we add, subtract, multiply or divide, as long as God is involved, the solutions are limitless. Human endeavors will never add up to or equal God’s boundless power and wisdom. However, Grace, Faith, Trust and Love allow us to approach God.

For those reading this post on a smart phone, I noticed the symbols are messed up. I'm not sure why?

Evening Glory

Wal-mart sells a house-brand of clothing labeled ‘Faded Glory’. Whoever came up with this name had a sense of humor. The phrase, ‘Faded Glory’, reminds me of a lady who is past her prime. Her glory days are a distant memory. I think we all reach this stage eventually. Yet, some of us accept aging more gracefully than others.

I know a Faded Glory who continually seeks validation from others. Her need for attention and approval is insatiable. She frequently invalidates others in her attempt to feel better about herself.

I also know an Evening Glory. Her pale blooms are subtle. She opens up in the dark, sharing her nectar freely, when most other flowers are unavailable.

I want to be like this Evening Glory. I want to accept aging gracefully, to find my niche, to be available to those in need. I want to focus on validating others, providing sustenance, allowing others to grow.

I found the following description of the evening primrose that grows in Israel:
“The evening primrose Oenothera drummondii is a joy to see. It gives even more delight when it blooms throughout the night. It’s Hebrew name, ner halayla, means candle of the night. It is a survivor, stubbornly growing in places no other flowers can. It tolerates the saltiness of the sea-shore, the aridness of the sand, and the spray of the waves. Look closely at the flower to see an unusual feature – the cross shaped stigma. The plant is fertilised by a moth, not surprising as its flowers open at night – and when I say open at night I mean a tightly closed bud will open within about 30 seconds! One plant can have between 20 and 30 flowers open over-night and they will simply fade away by noon next day, to be replaced the next night by as many more.”

Natural vs. Supernatural

I haven’t been exercising or eating well lately. I feel sluggish, weak, bloated, and flabby. My mind and body are suffering the natural consequences of my choices. God is not punishing me for my lack of discipline.

We may inherit behavioral traits from our ancestors. Some of these are the natural consequence of our heredity. We have a choice whether to continue these habits and patterns. For example, if alcoholism runs in our family, we may be genetically predisposed to addictive tendencies. Yet, we can choose a different path. It is not inevitable that every child of an alcoholic will turn out to be an addict of some sort.

I have heard Christians quote Old Testament verses to explain how God punishes us for generations because of the sins of our ancestors. I disagree. I think that we confuse natural consequences of our growth environment with supernatural punishment.

My family has made a conscious decision not to put chemicals on our lawn anymore. We realized that it seeps into the water table below and could cause long term health problems for ourselves, our neighbors, their children and grandchildren. If someone gets cancer 50 years from now, it is not God punishing them for the sins of their ancestors. It is because of the natural consequence of my choice to have a weed-free lawn.

God can supernaturally intervene in any situation and change the natural trajectory of a person’s life. However, sometimes He allows us to experience the natural consequences of our choices. This is not supernatural punishment. We must accept responsibility; our actions affect our family, friends, and descendants.

Drama-Mamas

There are people in this world who thrive on drama. They get bored if a day goes by without a heated argument or manufactured crisis. They assign themselves roles of tragic hero/heroine/director/script writer. They cast others as supporting actors, villains, and extras. They seek an appreciative audience. They have been playing the role of victim for so long, that they can’t distinguish between these fictitious characters and reality.

Unfortunately, I am not immune to these casting calls. I unwillingly get sucked into these deranged theatrical productions.

“Don’t ever have a battle of the mind with people who’ve lost theirs.” (Phillip Gulley)

I DO have a choice. I can choose NOT to engage in the battle. I can refuse to participate in the drama. I might be forced into the role of spectator, but I can tune out, count to 100... backwards. Of course, theatrical people are not going to be pleased when you choose to disengage from their histrionics. They need an audience. They do not like to be ignored. The will denigrate your abilities, call you a coward, accuse you of being selfish and uncaring. They WILL create a scene.

Maintaining relationships with these theatrical personalities without getting sucked into their drama requires divine grace and patience.

Tempting Distractions

I take a daily walk with my dog. Mostly she walks by my side, tuned in to my signals. Until she sees a rabbit! Suddenly, her animal instincts take over her brain. She strains to get away from me. If she could break away, she would chase the rabbits into tick- infested woods-- where she could get lost-- or across streets, where she could get hit by oncoming cars. I hold on tight to her leash, knowing that my dog will never catch these rabbits, but chasing after them could lead her into harmful situations.

In our daily walk with God, we face similar tempting distractions. We chase after decoys that divert our attention, break our communion with God. If we manage to break the tie that binds us to God, we too could end up in harmful situations.

Be wary of anything that fascinates us more than God.

“The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.” (1 Cor. 10:13 NLT)

“And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.” (Matt. 6:13 NLT)

Tag Team

I was reading through the Book of Ezra. Ezra is called to be the spiritual leader during a time when God’s followers are going through an identity crisis. He gets substantial help from his contemporary, Nehemiah, who is assigned the role of general contractor/administrator.

“After all this, Ezra.” (Ezra. 7:1 MSG)

There are only 10 chapters to this book. Ezra only enters the picture in chapter 7 of the book named after him! God’s timing is inexplicable.

I was struck by how God gathers the most diverse people, from all corners of the earth, and assigns them different roles in His projects. General contractors, builders, spiritual leaders, organizers, dentists, doctors, business men and women, homemakers, gardeners, bakers, animal experts, writers, young, old, weak, strong, short, tall, extroverts and introverts, patient and impatient, multicultural, multilingual, multitalented…God calls each according to His timing. Some are called to start a project, and others are brought in to finish it.

Sometimes when God calls me in for a project, it’s not a convenient time for me. I miss my cue. God is forced to pick an alternate. The play goes on without me.

Was that You, God? Or Just a Hot Flash?

“God prodded-” (Ezra. 1:5 MSG)

Most days, my life is a slow-burning wood fire--a small, useful flame that sends out a bit of smoke. Occasionally, I get poked into a turbulent flame. I’m prodded out of my normal state of complacency. I feel the urge to spread like a wild fire.

When God sets us on fire, I’m sure it’s uncomfortable for us and everyone surrounding us. God’s holy fire consumes and cleanses. However, not everything that burns is from God.

I’m never sure if this prodding is from God. Is my agitation caused by the Holy Spirit? Or is this smoldering indignation just my own ego? Or, maybe it’s just a pre-menopausal hot flash. I get hot and bothered about a lot of things. I pray for discernment--to recognize the difference between a holy nudge and self-righteousness.

Drawing on the Grace of God

“Prayer is the practice of drawing on the grace of God. Don’t say, ‘I will endure this until I can get away and pray.’ Pray NOW-- draw on the grace of God in your moment of need. Prayer is the most normal and useful thing; it is not simply a reflex action of your devotion to God. We are very slow to learn to draw on God’s grace through prayer.” (My Utmost for His Highest-- by Oswald Chambers)

We can draw God’s grace like water from a well. Prayer is the bucket. The Holy Spirit is the pulley that enables us to draw this grace without getting exhausted.
If we are dependent on well water for our daily needs, we wouldn’t skip a day because we are busy. We would have to go to the well and draw water several times a day--whether we are thirsty and need a drink, or dirty and need to wash up; when we need to cook our food, or water our crops or livestock. Similarly, we must draw from God’s unlimited supply of grace several times a day, no matter what else is going on in our lives.

“God’s power is working in us. We use weapons of righteousness in the right hand for attack and the left hand for defense. We serve God whether people honor us or despise us, whether they slander us or praise us.” ( 2 Cor. 6:7-8 NLT)

When we continually, consistently, draw from God’s power, we have goodness at our disposal. We no longer have to use self-constructed weapons to attack the forces of darkness, or to defend what is right and true; For we are operating under God’s strength, wisdom and grace.

Prioritizing

“Don’t do everything – just do what matters most.” (J.R. Briggs)

Every day I wake up and make a list of all the things I want to do. I usually accomplish only 80% of these things. Which means the next day’s list is even bigger. By the end of the week, I’m overwhelmed and discouraged.

What if I were more selective? What if I only planned to do what mattered most? What if as soon as I made my list, I prioritized my tasks and deleted the 20% that was not essential. My to-do list would actually become doable!

If cleaning our house and cooking a healthy meal help our family feel cared for, then they need to be a priority. A cluttered, disorganized house agitates me, so I need some time daily to bring order to my home. Yet if these tasks are done merely due to societal expectations, then they just become a time drain. Unproductive, toxic relationships can dwindle our energy. Email enables me to communicate with people at times that are convenient for me and them. On the other hand, texting, online chatting, and Facebook are such superficial forms of connecting, that I find them wasteful.

What matters most? Tasks that enrich my mind, body, and soul are the first priority. Prayer, reading scripture, writing, exercising, and connecting with God and my loved ones have a deep impact on the quality of my life. I’m sure everyone has his/her own list of what matters most. If you haven’t taken the time to make up that list, do it now.

Comfort and Security

J.R. Briggs is a pastor from Pennsylvania. I read the following quote on one of his blog posts: “Refuse to default to comfort and security.” (http://www.jrbriggs.com/ )

 When in doubt, I always default to comfort and security. Sometimes I feel called to speak up against injustice, take risks that might lead to loss, get into situations that are beyond my sphere of influence. However, I usually talk myself out of these urges during the early planning stages.

How can I move from my default settings and learn to take beneficial risks? How can I accept that discomfort and instability are part of growth?

When I was 15 years old, I learned to drive. I remember being nervous every time I got behind the wheel. I realized that I could get killed or kill someone else, every time I drove. I had to put aside my actuarial tendencies and bravely go where every other 15 year old had been before.

“Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
don't try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
he's the one who will keep you on track.
Don't assume that you know it all.” (Proverbs 3:5-12 MSG)

I must trust God; Listen to God; Lean more toward God than to my own common sense.

Discontentment

We’ve all heard the story of Goldilocks and the three bears. Goldilocks invades the house of a family of bears and tries out their chairs, their food, and their beds. She declares most of what she finds unsatisfactory, but always finds baby bear’s stuff “just right”.

My Sis told me a wonderful analogy to this story. In a twisted version of this fairy tale, Goldilocks would not find anything to her liking. Nothing would be “just right”. She would restlessly keep searching, unable to satisfy her cravings. She would never be able to find contentment.

“Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth. After all, we brought nothing with us when we came into the world, and we can’t take anything with us when we leave it. So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content.” (1 Tim. 6:6-8 NLT)

Wealth does not bring contentment; contentment in itself is wealth. Remember that everything in our life is from God and not due to our own striving. Gratefulness is the first step toward contentment. We have to find satisfaction in what we have. Today, I am grateful for my God, my faith, my family, my health, my home, my friends, my mind…

God has graciously provided me with everything I need, but maybe not everything I want. It is up to me to curb my desires, if I want to find contentment.

Bitterness

I’ve been simmering with negativity. Slow boil. Occasionally someone stirs the pot, which makes it worse. Stewing in critical juice just makes one bitter.

Weeds of bitterness have taken over my flower bed. I neglected to remove them in the early stages, and now they have established roots and invaded the whole garden.
 　
“Keep a sharp eye out for weeds of bitter discontent. A thistle or two gone to seed can ruin a whole garden in no time. Watch out for the Esau syndrome: trading away God's lifelong gift in order to satisfy a short-term appetite. You well know how Esau later regretted that impulsive act and wanted God's blessing—but by then it was too late, tears or no tears.”(Heb.12:15-17 MSG)

Esau’s story is told in Genesis, Chapter 25. Esau and Jacob were twin brothers. Esau was older by a few minutes, and thus had the birthright of being the heir. Esau recklessly gave up his birthright to Jacob in exchange for a bowl of stew. The desire for immediate gratification led to loss, which then led to bitterness.
 
God has granted us the gift of peace and contentment. Yet, like Esau, we trade it in for the satisfaction of anger and self-pity. We think we can go back to peace as we choose. However, once bitterness takes root, it sucks up all the nutrients and prevents peace from growing in your heart. As soon as we see the weeds of bitterness sprouting in our life, we must yank them out by the root.

The Luxury of Quiet

I’ve been noticing how hard it is to find quiet these days. As I write this, I’m in a coffee shop that has music playing overhead as well as a TV in the corner tuned to CNN. I’ve noticed that almost every store I walk into these days has music playing overhead. Even in my own home, it’s difficult to find quiet. Someone always has the TV or music going. Now, I’m not opposed to all sound. I absolutely enjoy a good conversation. But, inane noise annoys me! I know, I know… it’s a sure sign of aging. Nowadays, I find myself driving with the radio off and exercising without my mp3. These times when I’m alone, I choose to turn the volume down on all the chaos, so I can think.

How do people manage to think with all this incessant noise? Maybe some people prefer not to think. The superficial, repetitive sound track playing in the background blocks out deep thoughts.

I have tried to carve out quiet spaces. Nooks away from the commotion. I don’t want to isolate myself from my environment. I want to be available to those who want or need me. I hope to find the sweet spot, that peaceful balance between reclusiveness and sociability.

Outgrowing our Container

This morning I was watering one of my potted plants when I noticed that a few big roots were growing out of the bottom through the plastic pot. As I made a mental note to transplant this plant into a bigger pot, I thought of how many of us outgrow our containers in one way or another.

Sometimes I feel like my faith has outgrown my church. I’ve tried switching churches, but it hasn’t helped. Most churches provide the necessary nurturing environment for limited growth. Yet, because of their institutionalized nature, containment is inevitable. Regulations, legalism, and dogmatism can be restricting. Socializing, funding, building, and various projects suck up too much time and energy. Growth of the organization takes precedence over growth of individual faith. As a result, church sometimes feels like an ornamental pot.

I understand the need to shelter new seedlings indoors. Yet, a part of me wonders if, eventually, it might be beneficial to be transplanted straight into the fertile soil of God. We may have to withstand drought and frost, but our roots could go as deep as needed.

Then our faith could thrive…“like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit.” (Jeremiah 17:7-9 NLT)

Weaning

Philip Gulley is on my top ten list of favorite authors. He only publishes books every few years, (that lazy bum!) so I have to get my fix from his sermons online. Here is a link to his site:

http://www.philipgulley.org/GRACETALK.

This morning I was reading his sermon on empathy. He talked about how too much empathy can be harmful. “When you’re investing more time, care and passion in someone’s functioning than they are, you might be doing too much.” (Philip Gulley, ‘Empathy’ ~ Grace Talks sermons)

I’ve been thinking about this. If I’m investing more time and care in someone’s functioning than they are, might I be harming them? Guilty! I am an over-functioning parent. Gulley says this leads to under-functioning kids. Guilty! I usually justify my actions by comparing myself to another parent who is even more smothering than I am.

I’ve noticed that sometimes our dog can’t find small bits of food on the floor. After a few seconds of sniffing around, we usually point it out to her with our feet. Dogs have a keen sense of smell. So why my dog needs us to find a cheerio in front of her is mind-boggling! I wonder if we’ve messed up her natural sense of smell by pointing out where to find food. 

Over-functioning relationships can also be found between spouses, friends and adult children with their aging parents. My husband’s areas of strength, tend to be my weaknesses. Stepping up in these areas would be strengthening. The more I take care of things for my son, the less motivated he is to figure it out for himself. I could back off a bit and let him fail and learn from his mistakes. I could accept that my aging parents are still capable of taking care of themselves and not try to take over too soon. Weaning these relationships at the appropriate phase is beneficial for everyone involved.

Lord, help me to step up in areas where I’m under-functioning and to step down where I am over-functioning.