End of Year

"Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.” (Philippians 4:6 NLT)

Lord, I ask for:

--the tenacity to keep wrestling with things I don’t yet understand

--the courage to pursue truth, no matter what the cost

--the clarity of godly perspective

--the honesty to live authentically. 

Lord, I thank You for:

--the time, space, quiet, and opportunity to write

--the ability to articulate my thoughts and fluency in a global language

--technology

--over 1900 daily posts on this blog since 2012

--my editor, who goes through each and every post before it is published

--all the people who continually support and inspire me

--the Spirit of God, the Author and Finisher of everything.

A Better Life

“Trust in the LORD and do what is right! Settle in the land and maintain your integrity!” (Psalm 37:3 NET)

There are many decent human beings who do not practice any kind of faith, just as there are many folks who are immoral, yet religious. Belief in a higher power does not always correlate with integrity. However, an intimate relationship with Christ can increase the quality of our lives.

When we commit our way to Christ, we gain a good friend with whom we can do life. It’s like having a soulmate who is understanding, faithful, dependable, and wise. Whenever you are unsure about a situation or interaction, you have access to a divine perspective. Knowing you have someone to support you leads to security and stability. This allows you to settle down, be yourself, and live with integrity. It’s wonderful to have such a companion on your journey.

Taking Every Opportunity

“Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity.” (Colossians 4:5 NIV)

On a recent vacation, my husband and I had made arrangements through a local company for a ride from the airport to our resort. During the twenty minute ride, the driver told us a few things about the area and how the company he works for could provide us with tours and activities. If we asked any questions, he would answer in a way that redirected our attention to the company he represented. It quickly became apparent to us that he used the time he had with us to pitch his business. He mentioned that we would be approached by others offering similar excursions, but to only book with agents who wore uniforms similar to his. I admired his single-mindedness.

“Pray that every time I open my mouth I'll be able to make Christ plain as day to them.” (Colossians 4:4 MSG)

As Christians, we are called to represent Christ and make Him known. However, the world encourages us to promote ourselves and our self-interests at every turn. Not to mention that humans have a natural instinct to seek admiration and prominence. Thus, it feels counter-cultural and counterintuitive to serve Christ rather than to do what feels good and makes others think well of us. Every encounter can be an opportunity to make the Message plain. There are a variety of ways to do this. Let your words and actions reflect Christ. Seek to bring out the best in others instead of aggrandizing yourself. Nurture faith. Build each other up in love. Magnify God.

Following Hard

“My soul followeth hard after thee: thy right hand upholdeth me.” (Psalm 63:8 KJV)

Once a week, I run with my coach. At the beginning of these runs, I am energetic and motivated, bounding forward, matching his pace. About two-thirds of the way, I start getting tired. My stride shortens, my shoulders slump, and my gait changes to a shuffle. I wish the coach would slow down for me, but he maintains the pace that he has set in advance. He knows it’s hard for me to follow, but he keeps moving forward. His goal is to make me stronger.

Similarly, I started my faith journey with passion and purpose. I stayed as close as I could as my Lord led me forward. Eventually, my energy waned, and the gap between us got wider. I became less enthusiastic and felt like doing my own thing. This is when I had to remind myself of a few core truths: God is trustworthy. He knows what is best. His intentions are always good. I can count on the Lord to uphold me as I follow hard behind Him.

“So faith bounds forward to its goal in God

And love can trust her Lord to lead her there;

Upheld by Him, my soul is following hard

Till God hath full fulfilled my deepest prayer.” (Frances Brook)

Mary Did You Know?

To celebrate the birthday of Christ, here are the lyrics to one of my favorite modern Christmas Songs:

Mary did you know that your baby boy would one day walk on water?

Mary did you know that your baby boy would save our sons and daughters?

Did you know that your baby boy has come to make you new?

This child that you've delivered, will soon deliver you

Mary did you know that your baby boy will give sight to a blind man?

Mary did you know that your baby boy will calm a storm with his hand?

Did you know that your baby boy has walked where angels trod?

When you kiss your little baby, you kiss the face of God

Mary did you know? Mary did you know? Mary did you know?

Mary did you know? Mary did you know? Mary did you know?

The blind will see, the deaf will hear, the dead will live again

The lame will leap, the dumb will speak, the praises of the lamb

Mary did you know that your baby boy is Lord of all creation?

Mary did you know that your baby boy would one day rule the nations?

Did you know that your baby boy is heaven's perfect lamb?

That sleeping child you're holding is the great I am

Mary did you know? Mary did you know? Mary did you know?

(Written by Mark Lowry and Buddy Greene)

Oldest Christmas Hymn

St. Hilary is credited with the oldest Christmas Hymn: Jesus Refulsit Omnium (Jesus Illuminates All). This Latin Hymn was written in the 4th Century. Below are a few verses from the English translation of this song:

Jesus hath shined benignly forth

Redeemer of the tribes of earth.

Let all the faithful far and near

The praises of his deeds declare.

The Father’s mandate from the skies

His noble Sonship testifies

The Spirit’s power upon his head

In plenitude of grace is shed

Due Praise, Great Trinity, to thee

Honor, and power, and glory be

By all creation evermore

Until eternity be o’er.

May Jesus Illuminate all. Merry Christmas!

Knowing Your Goal

“I don't run without a goal.” (1 Corinthians 9:26 CEV)

Until a few years ago, running was just a form of exercise to me.  A few days a week, I would run a few miles, do a few calisthenics, and check exercise off my to-do list.  Then, my husband decided he wanted to run an official race. Although I didn’t see any point in paying a fee to run with a crowd of people, I decided to sign up with him. Having a goal race changed the way we trained. We started being more intentional and disciplined. We ran even when we didn’t feel like it--in the cold, heat, snow, and rain. We chose paths that were hilly to increase our endurance. We made time to run on busy days and even on vacation. We measured our distance and our times. We did speedwork, intervals, and tempo runs. We ran with purpose in every step.

Most of us spend our energy aimlessly, pursuing the latest diversion and trend. We wander haphazardly, just going along with the crowd, uncertain about our destination. God created every individual with a purpose in mind. He uses each of us, in different ways, to display His glory. Our mission, if we choose to accept it, is to allow God to reveal Himself through us. Once we know and embrace our goal, everything changes. We become intentional, attentive, and disciplined. Everything is measured. We no longer have time or energy to waste. We live with purpose in every thought, every word, every step.

“My goal is God Himself, not joy, nor peace,

Nor even blessing, but Himself, my God;” (Frances Brook)

Observing Patterns

“If this was my own idea of just another way to make a living, I'd expect some pay. But since it's not my idea but something solemnly entrusted to me, why would I expect to get paid? So am I getting anything out of it? Yes, as a matter of fact: the pleasure of proclaiming the Message at no cost to you. You don't even have to pay my expenses!” (1 Corinthians 9:17-18 MSG)

I had been thinking about writing and publishing print books for several years before I started writing this blog. Let’s face it, even self-published print books make an author feel more legitimate than writing things online. However, a close friend of mine said the following to me: “God has blessed you with a husband who is willing to support you financially. Even though it might feel good to make your own money, see if you can share your gift of writing for free.” What she said made an impact. For the last seven years, this blog has been published every weekday without monetization, ads, or sponsors.

God has been faithful. Every day that I sit down and listen, He provides me with insights. I share the gifts which have been entrusted to me. While it’s true that a lot of what I write is heavily contaminated by my own thoughts, some of God’s message comes through. Have I benefited from all of this? YES! First of all, the habit of writing regularly has given me the discipline to study scripture and wait for the Holy Spirit to help me understand it. If I were just making notes for myself, I would not have to think as deeply. Since my writing may be read by others, it forces me to connect dots and to process. I can’t give up after a cursory reading of God’s Word. I have to work out the hard parts until I have a clear understanding and relevant application to each verse. I am grateful for the gifts--of time, insights, writing, a supportive husband, a consistent editor, and wise friends.

Observing Patterns

“For the Mighty One is holy, and he has done great things for me.” (Luke 1:49 NLT

Even domesticated cats that are fed by humans still like to hunt birds and rodents. A cat will play with its prey before delivering the final blow. This play is part of its predatory instinct. Similarly, a deceiver will exploit people even when there is nothing to gain. It’s just part of his manipulative nature. Dogs are known for their faithfulness. They protect and serve their owners, even when it is dangerous to do so. Likewise, a dependable friend will be consistently available in good times and bad. Habitual actions reveal true nature. Patterns of past behavior should clue us in on what to expect in the future.

Every day, I take time to remind myself of what God has done for me. He has been available, dependable, faithful, forgiving. He has revealed truth, teaching me with patience. My Lord has been a constant presence, even in times of trouble. He has rescued me from the pit of despair. He has rebuilt me over and over each time I break down. Every blessing in my life can  be traced back to Him. All this overwhelming evidence shows me what to expect from God. My Lord is trustworthy, powerful, and consistent. I can rest confidently in His care.

Best Interests

“Dear friend, I hope all is well with you and that you are as healthy in body as you are strong in spirit.” (3 John 1:2 NLT)

Is there someone in your life that has your best interest at heart?

If not, can you be that person in your own life? The one that nurtures, protects, loves, and accepts yourself unconditionally. Or do you believe it would be selfish to care for yourself in that way?

How can we take care of our best interests today? There is no universal formula; the answers are unique for each of us. Take some time to think about your personal needs. Here are a few questions that may be helpful:

How can you care for your physical health today?

How can you nurture your mental well-being today?

How can you build up your spiritual strength today?

Advent

“Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her!" (Luke 1:45 NLT)

I had to remain on bed rest for the last few months of my pregnancy, due to some complications. I did not take well to this enforced confinement. There was so much to do for the arrival of the baby--clothes, bottles, blankets, diapers, cribs, car seats all needed to be purchased; food needed to be made ahead and frozen; the nursery had to be set up--but here I was, sidelined. I remember my physician telling me the following: ‘The best thing you can do to prepare for this baby is to remain still.’

As Christmas approaches, there is much to do. Decorations to be put up, gifts to be purchased and wrapped, treats to be baked, religious services to attend, etc. Apart from all this external preparation, we also need to get spiritually ready for the arrival of baby Jesus into our hearts. Advent is the season of expectation. It is a time of stillness, of rest, of patience. We hush our souls amidst the chaos. We remind ourselves of God’s promises, trusting that they will be fulfilled in due time. We wait in anticipation.

Tripping

“God does care when you use your freedom carelessly in a way that leads a Christian still vulnerable to those old associations to be thrown off track.” (1 Corinthians 8:9 MSG)

I can go to a party where alcohol is being served and leave sober. However, if I am with a friend who has had issues with alcohol in the past, that environment might be harmful for her. Thus, I would skip that party. I can go to a casino and walk out without gambling. Nonetheless, it would be unwise to be there with someone who finds gambling tempting. As an able-bodied person, I can go up and down stairs easily, but if I were traveling with a person who uses a wheelchair, I would try to find places that are accessible to people with disabilities.

We each have the freedom to make choices that we deem right. At the same time, it would be good to avoid actions that trip up another person morally or spiritually. Developing an awareness of our own strengths and weaknesses takes maturity. Most of us eventually learn to avoid triggers that are likely to get us off track. It takes even more attentiveness to recognize what may snag  those around us. Making accommodations for the frailties of others requires compassion. If you have been gifted with sight, be kind and remove the obstacles that may trip up those who are blind.  

Coming to Your Senses

“Gently instruct those who oppose the truth. Perhaps God will change those people’s hearts, and they will learn the truth. Then they will come to their senses and escape from the devil’s trap. For they have been held captive by him to do whatever he wants.” (2 Timothy 2:25-26 NLT)

Trying to talk sense into someone’s life can be fruitless. It’s about as unproductive as hanging an apple on a barren apple tree. The tree might look like it finally is bearing fruit, but it isn’t.

We can gently point out truth, but we have no control over whether others internalize it or not. Our convincing arguments and logical reasoning may influence their thoughts. Our emotional pleas may sway them temporarily. But we do not have the power to rescue a prisoner of war who is held captive by lies. Only God can change hearts. Under His influence, people can come to their senses. This kind of internal transformation produces true fruit.

“I'll give you a new heart, put a new spirit in you. I'll remove the stone heart from your body and replace it with a heart that's God-willed, not self-willed.” (Ezekiel 36:26)

Riding Shotgun

“Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works.” (Hebrews 10:24 NLT)

When driving long distances, it is helpful to have another person in the vehicle with you. Even if they can’t help you drive, they can help you stay alert, navigate, provide companionship, and get snacks from the back seat. The ideal companion knows not to distract you when you need to be focused, to keep you alert when you get drowsy, and to point out directions that you may miss on your own. Thus, choosing the right person to ride shotgun can vastly improve your trip.

Good companions can be helpful in all areas of life. A person who holds you accountable, points out when you are off track, reminds you of your goals, and motivates you to be the best is invaluable. All of us need mentors; we can be role models for others, as well. Sometimes we are the encourager; other times we need encouragement. Those who are close often shape each other’s thoughts and decisions. We can influence each other to pay attention or distract each other in a myriad of ways. Thus, the people we choose to accompany us on our journey can make a huge difference in the quality of our lives.

Truth and Healing

“Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing. Truthful words stand the test of time, but lies are soon exposed.” (Proverbs 12:18-19 NLT)

There is a big difference between someone who stabs you in the back, and someone who carefully cuts open a wound to remove an infection.

People sometimes use reckless, backbiting, piercing words. Their intention is to hurt, tear down, and shame others. The words are often deceitful and twisted for maximum manipulation. Their goal is to make themselves feel better at the expense of others.

On the other hand, there are also people who speak thoughtfully and honestly. Truth, though sometimes painful, can bring healing in the long term. However, not all surgeons put the needs of their patients ahead of their own ambitions. Some operate mainly for personal gain. This might still bring healing to the patient, but it does not come from a place of generosity. Although they may claim they are serving others, it is often self-serving. Do not conflate this kind of ‘giving’ with those who give with pure motives.

Distinguishing between those who heal and those who harm requires experience. Telling the difference between truth and deceit takes wisdom. Sifting through a person’s intentions and motivations calls for spiritual discernment.

Being Real

“The intentions of a person's heart are deep waters, but a discerning person reveals them.” (Proverbs 20:5 CEV)

If you have ever drawn water from a deep well with a bucket, you know that it isn’t as easy as turning on a faucet for water. You let the bucket down gently, listen for contact with the water, wait for the tug of heaviness as the  water enters the bucket, and pull it up carefully without spilling. Then you pour the water into a larger container and repeat the whole procedure. You draw only as much water as you can carry, coming back for more when you need it.

A person’s true intentions, motivations, and purposes are like water in a deep well. It takes some effort to bring our pure essence to the surface.

There are two prerequisites to being genuine:

1)You have to know who you really are.

2)You have to like your authentic self.

Awareness requires honesty, contemplation, and discernment. You have to   quit projecting superficial images that fit worldly expectations. Then you must sink into the dark depths of your interior, listen, wait for the tug of resistance, and carefully draw out whatever you find. You can only carry so much weight at a time, so introspection is best done at regular intervals, not all at once.

Knowing who you are is only the first step; liking your authentic self is a bit more challenging. The world is full of delusional people who are in love with the artificial roles that they project. However, most people don’t like their real, stripped-down, unembellished, raw selves. This is why it is difficult to find sincere individuals. You can only be authentic if you accept your true self. Otherwise, you will keep projecting an identity that feels more acceptable.

Search deep below the surface.

Get to know who you are.

Accept what you find.

Reveal what is real.

Healthy Tribe

“Brothers and sisters, we urge you to warn those who are lazy. Encourage those who are timid. Take tender care of those who are weak.” (1 Thessalonians 5:14 NLT)

When I was younger, I used to hang around crowds that were not good for me. I got sucked up into an environment of ambition, competition, materialism, diversion, status-seeking, and self-indulgence. It took me a long time to realize the harm in this and get out.

These days, I enjoy being by myself, mostly. However, I realize that there can be some benefits to being part of a community. A healthy tribe can keep you accountable, motivate you to be your best, and support you during times of weakness. They can introduce new ideas and share their experiences. They can protect you against discouragement and delusion.

Some people thrive in community while others feel stifled by crowds. It takes a certain amount of maturity and self-awareness to figure out where you are on this spectrum. If you know yourself to be a herd follower, make sure your herd is not likely to jump off a cliff.  Surround yourself with wise, authentic, healthy people.

Pretend Connections

“No more lies, no more pretense.” (Ephesians 4:25 MSG)

I just learned that some people buy fake security cameras for their homes. The external casing looks just like the real thing--flashing red lights, wires that protrude from the unit. Some even move back and forth. They are much cheaper than the real ones and easier to install and maintain. However, these pretend cameras are not connected to anything. Although these devices are meant to deter burglars, a trained eye can spot the fakes from the real thing. Proponents of fake cameras claim that they are better than nothing, while critics say they give consumers a false sense of security.

Similarly, there are people who prefer pretend relationships over real ones. Fake commitments require less investment and maintenance. They can look legitimate at first glance. These people hang around when it is convenient or when they have an agenda. They laugh at your jokes and nod their heads as if they are paying attention to you. They wear convincing masks of interest and concern. Those who participate in these artificial alliances claim that they are better than nothing, while those who have experienced real relationships know better. Pretense does not lead to connection. It merely gives you a false sense of belonging and security.

Since fake relationships are not based on honesty, they quickly disintegrate when exposed to uncomfortable truths. People keep up their pretensions to feel good about themselves. If you point out their flaws or hold them accountable, these people disappear from your lives quickly. A crisis will also unmask these counterfeits. When you have been robbed of your dignity, when you have nothing to offer but sorrow and weakness, when there is no audience, only those who are truly committed will remain.

Truth Speakers

“You can trust a friend who corrects you, but kisses from an enemy are nothing but lies.” (Proverbs 27:6 CEV)

I am not comfortable changing my clothes in front of others. There are very few people that I would allow in a fitting room with me. It’s not that I am uncomfortable with my body; I’m just selective about who gets to see me in that vulnerable state.

Vulnerability allows us to be open with others. It takes courage to reveal your authentic self to someone else. Emotional exposure can be risky, though. There is always a chance that we can be hurt or demeaned by the other. Thus, it is wise to be selectively vulnerable with only those who have earned our trust and will speak truth.

We all need a few ‘truth speakers’ in our lives. These are the people who you know are trustworthy, consistently available, and love you unconditionally. You can share your innermost thoughts with them, and they feel comfortable being vulnerable with you. There is no falsity, flattery, or pretense in these relationships. You can take correction from these individuals, because you know they will put your best interest over their personal agenda. Selective vulnerability allows us to accept truth from those we trust while dismissing the lies of those who are dishonest.

Pushing Boundaries

“People move property lines to get more land; they steal sheep and put them with their own flocks.” (Job 24:2 GNT)

Not everyone has positive intentions. Manipulators often appeal to your sense of kindness, sympathy, and tolerance while they push back your boundaries. They use you to pad their egos and their profits. Their incongruous behavior hints at their less-than-pure motives.

“You cannot be generous and tolerant and accepting of people who are not respecting you and your boundaries.” (Brene Brown)

If someone routinely barges into your space without knocking, leaving the door ajar may seem like a benign solution. Since confrontation is uncomfortable, it is tempting to take the easy way out. Whether we close the door or not, the invaders seem to find a way in--so why bother? The more we yield to coercion, the more we embolden bullies. Those who do not respect your boundaries do not deserve to be treated like honored guests.

P.S.--This post is NOT about geopolitical borders that are a result of colonialism, military conquests, or land grabs by those in power. I am writing about pushing personal boundaries.

Boundaries vs. Barriers

“When the High God gave the nations their stake, gave them their place on Earth, He put each of the peoples within boundaries under the care of divine guardians.” (Deuteronomy 32:8 MSG)

Healthy boundaries allow us to define who we are, what we believe in, and what we will tolerate. Establishing personal boundaries requires awareness and self-respect. Enforcing them involves courage to stand firm, even in the face of disapproval. There will always be people who push back boundary lines in order to get what they want. Frequent exposure to those who are invasive may provoke us to create solid walls of  protection. These barriers may allow us to avoid manipulators; but they can also prevent us from developing relationships with healthy individuals.

“The wall is a barrier, whereas the boundary is a beginning. It is the beginning of a life that does not allow evil to be inflicted on me. It is the beginning of searching for what is best and keeping out those influences that would prevent me from moving toward it. It stops me from walking into walls and allows me to walk into the future with God and others in a healthy, life-giving community.” (Steve Arterburn)

Boundaries have gates that allow us to be selective. We can choose to keep out influences that prevent us from being our best. Instead, we can invite in those who are sincere, those who consistently encourage us to be true, even when it does not benefit them in any way. Healthy boundaries obviate the need for walls.