“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” (Ephesians 4:22-24 NIV)
Like many, I am on the spectrum of addiction to validation. I’ve been trapped in the pointless struggle to maintain repetitive patterns that society has deemed worthy. Everyone around me is on the same path of competitive acquisition and advancement. I tell myself I want to be a better person, but in actuality I strive to be better than the next person. If I were to choose an unpopular path, how would I compare myself? Outside an arena of contrast, how would I feed my addiction to validation? I’ve grown accustomed to flawed desires and pointless pursuits. I want to change.
Renewal requires relinquishment of old, familiar ways of seeking comfort. First we must acknowledge that our repetitive lifestyle choices are not bringing fulfillment. No amount of external affirmation can bring satisfaction. The craving for more becomes a form of addiction.
As with any addiction, rehabilitation is a lifelong process. Even those of us who have made a conscious decision to change are faced with withdrawal symptoms. Learning to recognize warning signs and triggers can be helpful. New coping mechanisms must be developed. Otherwise, relapse is inevitable. Validation dependency is so common that it is acceptable in modern society. Choosing not to participate will make you the weird one. The right path is often lonely. However, a life of truth brings renewal. We are no longer dependent on human approval. We appreciate the freedom of an unshackled mindset. Gradually, our attitude and frame of reference shift. The Spirit of God touches our soul and confirms our value.
