Trust Sensor

“Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.” (Proverbs 27:6 NLT)

What makes us susceptible to insincerity? Why can’t we see through deceptive displays of affection, words of flattery, gifts of fake pearls? When someone repeatedly shows us that they are untrustworthy, why do we keep thinking that they will be different?

Most of us can sense when someone is untrustworthy, especially if we have known them for a while. We can observe how they treat others in their lives and see patterns of deception. We have noticed how they rob others of dignity, how they step on them as they climb the ladder of ambition. However, our desire to be loved and accepted mesmerizes us into giving some people the benefit of the doubt. We want to believe that we are worthy enough to induce these exploiters to change their ways. Thus, we ignore our gut, our trust sensor--and, instead, follow our heart’s desire to feel valuable, loveable, acceptable. Sincere friends might warn us that we are being used as a doormat, but we reject their admonitions. Instead, we accept the fake embraces, hoping that this time will be different, that we are special enough to beget loyalty and sincerity.

Truth Speakers

“You can trust a friend who corrects you, but kisses from an enemy are nothing but lies.” (Proverbs 27:6 CEV)

I am not comfortable changing my clothes in front of others. There are very few people that I would allow in a fitting room with me. It’s not that I am uncomfortable with my body; I’m just selective about who gets to see me in that vulnerable state.

Vulnerability allows us to be open with others. It takes courage to reveal your authentic self to someone else. Emotional exposure can be risky, though. There is always a chance that we can be hurt or demeaned by the other. Thus, it is wise to be selectively vulnerable with only those who have earned our trust and will speak truth.

We all need a few ‘truth speakers’ in our lives. These are the people who you know are trustworthy, consistently available, and love you unconditionally. You can share your innermost thoughts with them, and they feel comfortable being vulnerable with you. There is no falsity, flattery, or pretense in these relationships. You can take correction from these individuals, because you know they will put your best interest over their personal agenda. Selective vulnerability allows us to accept truth from those we trust while dismissing the lies of those who are dishonest.