Thank You

It’s been a year since I started this blog. Although I started off writing every day, after the first month or so, I settled into a routine of 6 days a week, Monday through Saturday. This will be my 316^th post. I would not have started publishing my private thoughts if it weren’t for the encouragement of my sister and a few close friends. I wouldn’t have been able to keep it going without the help of another dear friend, who edited most of the articles. I’m thankful to all of you readers, especially to those of you who wrote encouraging emails to me. I’m particularly grateful to my husband, who read my posts daily and encouraged me to keep writing.

This year of writing has been a gift. I’ve had a chance to explore my thoughts and grow in the process. This blog and its subscribers have kept me accountable to write every day, to think deeply, to not accept superficial answers to my questions. I hope to continue writing in the next year. Thank You for reading as I write out loud…

Independence and Individuality

“The characteristics of individuality are independence and self-will. We hinder our spiritual growth more than any other way by continually asserting our individuality.” (My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers)

I was surprised when I read this statement! I’ve always thought that individuality and independence were good characteristics to strive for, while conformity and dependence were to be avoided at all cost.  

The word “individual” originated from the Latin word individuus --meaning not divisible. 

Why is individuality--or indivisibility--a hindrance to spiritual growth?

(Since I couldn’t figure this out, I decided to take a break and make myself some eggs for breakfast. I cracked open two eggs, separated the whites from the yolks to avoid the cholesterol, and thought about this conundrum as I watched the egg whites cook in the pan. Later, as I was chewing, I realized how I had divided the eggs several times—first from the shell, then the yolk from the white.)

Both the shell and the yolk are necessary for the development of an egg into a new, individual chick. But, for my purposes they needed to be divided. I didn’t want the cholesterol to clog up my arteries. Similarly, individuality and independence are useful to human development, but not for God’s purposes. Spiritual growth involves cracking our outer shell and dividing our core. God separates what is useful to Him from the parts that merely clog up His plans. Thus, individuality--or a resistance to being divided--becomes a hindrance to spiritual growth.

Have It Your Way

“There are two kinds of people: those who say to God, "Thy will be done," and those to whom God says, "All right, then, have it your way.” (C.S. Lewis)

This reminds me so much of a parent-child relationship. A parent might tell a child, “It’s cold outside; you might want to wear a coat.” The child might respond with a tantrum or just completely ignore the parent’s advice. So, then the parent might decide to let the kid have his own way and learn from the consequences of his mistake.

As children of God, we can daily choose to follow His directions and say: “Thy will be done.” Or, we can stomp our feet, have a tantrum, and insist: “I know what I’m doing; I want it my way!”

When God allows us to have our own way, we majorly screw things up. This is the root of all problems, all destruction, all evil. Our choices can impact not only our own lives, but also those around us, as well as future generations.

Once we understand the consequences of insisting on getting our own way, we realize how imperative it is to pray: Thy Will Be Done! Please!

Holy Family

My childhood home was filled with pictures of Jesus, Mary and Joseph, representing the idealized family. The child Jesus was always in the center, flanked on both sides by Mary and Joseph.  Many Catholics take time to honor the Holy Family on the weekend between Christmas and New Year’s. The Holy Family represents the sanctity of the family unit.

Several years ago, I started praying regularly that all families would stay intact, wholesome, and holy. To me this meant that parents would stay together, focus on the needs of their kids, and put their own ambitions and desires aside for the welfare of the family. My idea of a sanctified family was of one that was child-centered. As with most flawed thinking, mine was just slightly off the mark.

The Holy Family was Christ-centered, not child-centered. The sanctity of a family is not dependent on whether the members are wholesome, but whether they are set apart for God’s purposes. The focus is not on the family unit, but on Jesus.

Most families, including mine, are far from being Christ-centered. In order to focus on Jesus, we have to take our eyes off of everything else. This seems dangerous, risky, and counter-culture.  It is.

 “God, dear Lord, I only have eyes for you.” (Ps. 141:8 MSG)

Lord, may we be so absorbed by You, that everything else fades in importance.

Joseph

This morning, I sat contemplating the nativity figurines that I put out as part of our Christmas décor. As I noticed each character in this tableau, I thought about how many Christmas stories, carols, and cards mention Jesus, Mary, the three kings, angels, shepherds, and all the animals, but how very few extol Joseph’s role.

Joseph played an integral role in Jesus’ life. Even when he realizes his betrothed is pregnant and the child is not his own, Joseph sticks to his commitment. He listens carefully to God’s instructions, obeys without questioning, leads his family away from danger, and provides them with a home, an identity, and honor. Joseph enables Mary to mother and nurture Jesus. He had every right to just leave when he heard the baby was not his own. Yet, he gives up his rights, and instead devotes himself to taking care of this vulnerable woman and her child. He leads without being domineering. He seems to be aware of his role as God’s representative on earth. When I think of Joseph, I imagine a responsible, protective, hard-working man who is willing to make sacrifices for his family.

Instead of being held up as a role model, Joseph is largely ignored in our current culture. In general, the role of fathers is undervalued these days. Most men are convinced that they are the nonessential parent who plays a peripheral role in the family. Their contributions are minimized. They are often seen as mere accessories, supplemental actors in the family drama. Recognizing the value of men will not lead to the devaluing of women. Each person has an integral role.

I wish we could acknowledge, affirm, and raise awareness of the important role that men, especially fathers, play in society. I think it will just encourage men to live up to the role for which they were created.

 

Christmas

We are celebrating the most popular of all birthdays. We’ve been preparing for about a month. The decorations are up, we have gift bags for the other guests, and the dinner is prepared. Yet, it feels like we left something out. Did we remember to invite the birthday boy? And if we did, are we paying any attention to Him?

Amidst the food, the gifts and merriment sometimes we ignore Christ.

I hope we can all take a break today and really enjoy God, who is with us–Immanuel!

Today is the perfect day to honor Jesus, to adore Him, to put Him first.

Venite Adoremus, Dominum

(Come let us adore him, Christ the Lord)

Sponsors

Today, I would like to delve into the role a Sponsor plays in a 12-step recovery program. I found the following description online:

“A sponsor is a more experienced person in recovery who guides the less-experienced aspirant through the program. Sponsors share their experience, strength, and hope. A sponsor's role is not that of a legal adviser, a banker, a parent, a marriage counselor, or a social worker. Nor is a sponsor a therapist offering some sort of professional advice. A sponsor is simply another addict in recovery who is willing to share his or her journey.” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twelve-step_program)

In the above description, I especially like the part of what NOT to do as a sponsor. Sponsors have to be careful not to take on too much while helping others. Like physical therapists, they must guide and support others towards healing. The patient has to do the exercises and develop strength. A therapist who does too much is not helping the patient stand and walk on his own.

What if each of us had such a sponsor on our faith journey--someone who is further along on the path, who would guide us and share their experience, strength, and hope? What if each of us, in turn, became a sponsor to someone else who was a few steps behind us—openly sharing our past struggles and how God came through for us. What a beautiful model for restoration!