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Monday, June 5, 2017

External Crazy-making

“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God?” (Galatians 1:10 NIV)
Do certain people make you feel crazy?  
I have several crazy-makers in my life. They use guilt, drama, and criticism to manipulate others into their way of thinking. Inhaling the secondhand smoke of their irrationality can be toxic. The more time I spend around them, the more confused I become.
What is the best way to handle crazy-makers?
“I’ve discovered that the only way I can take care of myself in these interactions is to be mindful that my sense of confusion is telling me that this is a crazy making interaction and that I need to disengage from it.” (Margaret Paul, Ph.D)
Once we recognize a crazy-making relationship, the best thing to do is to disengage, walk away, and make ourselves unavailable. Resist the urge to react, respond, explain, defend, or get angry. These behaviors will not affect the crazy-maker; it merely draws you into their web of chaos and drains your strength.
Why do we continue to expose ourselves to crazy-making behavior?
Oftentimes we feel we don’t have any other option. The crazy-makers may be relatives or co-workers, whose approval we subconsciously crave. If we disengage from these people, the world may condemn us. Continuing to expose ourselves to these relationships may erode our sanity, but in distancing ourselves we also pay a social cost. Thus, in order to separate ourselves from the toxicity, we must forego our need for human affirmation and rely solely on God’s seal of approval.

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