Staying Grounded

“As soon as Jesus heard the news, he left in a boat to a remote area to be alone.” (Matthew 14:13) NLT)

I have been really busy lately--lots of stuff going on. I feel scattered, unmoored from my soul. This is not the first time I’ve experienced this discomfort...this realization that things are not as they should be. I’ve noticed there are a few things that help me: gardening, doing a few loads of laundry, washing dishes, reading, and writing. These sorts of quiet, solitary activities make me feel grounded. 

When the business of living untethers us from the Spirit, it is time to take a break. We may need to eliminate distractions, retreat from the company of people, and have some private time with God. Jesus frequently withdrew from the crowds to be alone. He knew the importance of solitude, meditation, and prayer. Let us emulate Jesus by pulling back from the world so that we can stay connected to the Father.

Waiting Time

“God intended that they would seek Him and perhaps reach out for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us.” (Acts 17:27 BSB)

I’ve always had purses that were big enough to carry a book. Anytime I had to wait for anything, I would pull out my book and start reading. These days, I just pull out my smartphone. I can occupy myself for hours checking messages, emails, social media, news websites, etc.

I noticed how much I craved distraction, and how uncomfortable I felt just looking around in public. Checking my phone or reading a book made me feel efficient and productive. On the contrary, not having something to focus on made me feel like my time was being wasted, even if it was just a few minutes waiting in line for the cashier at the grocery store. This desire for distraction and usefulness had become a barrier between me and God--which is the definition of sin.

Recently, I have been trying something different. When I have a few minutes to pause during the day, instead of reaching for my phone, I reach out to God. I pray. I look for Him in my surroundings, in the people around me. I pray. I listen carefully for His voice. I talk to Him about my concerns. I pray. This change has not been easy, but it has been rewarding. I am becoming more aware of myself, of others, and of God in our midst.

Blessed One

“They shouted, "Praise God! Blessings on the one who comes in the name of the LORD!” (John 12:13 NLT)

The Lord is blessed--divine, holy, and glorified. Jesus, who came in the name of the Lord is also blessed--honored, sanctified, and consecrated. Those who know God acknowledge His sacred reputation.

When things are going well, it is natural to honor God. When a prayer is answered, a loved one is healed, an impossible problem is resolved, we are eager to exalt and thank God. However, when things don’t work out according to our vision, any mention of God feels unsympathetic. That is why we rarely hear songs of praise being sung at funerals. The Blessed One remains unchanged, no matter what the circumstances.

Lord, You are holy, exalted, and honorable. Help me to glorify you in the way I respond to every situation.

Ingrained Guilt

“So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.” (Romans 8:1 NLT)

As a child, I was raised to be hyper responsible. This led me to believe that if people around me were depressed, disappointed, or dissatisfied, it was my role to fix it. Since it was impossible to keep everyone happy all the time, I ended up feeling inadequate. I felt like a turkey that was brined, baked, and basted in guilt and then glazed over with shame for good measure. And if that were not enough, there were always little salt and pepper shakers of it at the ready for additional sprinkling. I grew up thinking that everything must somehow be my fault. I took none of the credit if things worked out, but self-condemnation became second nature.

Over the years, I have learned to subdue the ingrained feelings of self-reproof. I try not to give credence to obligatory ‘shoulds’ and contrived customs. There will always be those who use blame and shame as weapons of manipulation. I realized that just because someone tries to place the responsibility for their discontent at my feet, it doesn’t mean I have to pick it up. In reality, I do not have power over other people’s emotions, but I can change my perspective.  

These days, I have traded in my feelings of disgrace for the extravagantly forgiving grace of God. I invite the Spirit of God to infuse me and cleanse me from the inside out. Where I am deficient, God is sufficient. When I am powerless, He is all-powerful. Nothing is beyond His reach or His understanding. I take a step back, make space, and wait patiently for God to work things out.

Friend

"Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends.” (Revelation 3:20 NLT)

With the rise of social media, the concept of friendship has become blurry. Companions, relatives, coworkers, acquaintances, and those who share similar interests are lumped together and labeled as friends. We have diminished this relationship to mean a person that we know, but toward whom we do not feel hostile at the moment.

True friendship is a complex dance full of rhythmic and collaborative give and take. It is a harmonious blend of mutual love, trust, and respect. It cannot flourish unless both parties are attuned to each other, will the good of the other, and can confidently depend on each other.  And this is the kind of friendship that Jesus offers. He knocks at the door and waits for us to respond. If we  listen, if we are receptive, then He communes with us. God desires to be our intimate friend. We were created for this synergistic relationship, and we shall not find satisfaction in anything less. 

“When you’re joined with me and I with you, the relation intimate and organic, the harvest is sure to be abundant.”  ( John 15:5 MSG)

Running Track

“Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.” (Psalm 139:14 NLT)

In track and field, many of the shorter distance races are held on regulation tracks with precise measurements. The 200 and 400 meter races have separate lanes and staggered starting points for each runner. Since the outer lanes are longer than the inner ones, this ensures that each runner covers the same distance.

God made each of us unique and complex. We have different approaches and paces as we run toward Christ. There are linear thinkers, abstract philosophers, skeptics, dogmatists, conformists, intuitives, sensors, traditionalists, conservatives, and progressives, all on the same journey. While some adhere to their native theological beliefs, others may explore new ideological perspectives. We may have individual life paths and staggered starting points of faith, but the goal is the same: to cross the finish line. Thus, let us run this race with consistent drive, unflagging determination, and enduring purpose.  

Condemnation vs. Correction

Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.” (John 8:11 ESV)

Jesus did not condemn the woman caught in adultery; neither did He overlook her sin. Instead, he offered compassion, forgiveness, and correction.

What is the difference between condemnation and correction?  

Condemnation declares something as beyond repair, uninhabitable, or incurable. Correction, on the other hand, intends to aid in recovery and improvement. It implies careful evaluation in the hope of setting things right. Unfortunately, many of us conflate the two, lumping all forms of critique as judgmentalism. Sorting and separating these two concepts requires discernment.

For example, if a good friend of mine notices that I am about to make a choice that may have long-term, negative consequences, what should she do? She could decide to keep her opinions to herself; after all, she doesn’t know for sure that her instincts are accurate. Plus, I may not accept what she has to say, and it could damage our friendship.

Condemnation of a stranger or an enemy is easier than admonishing a loved one. Correction requires boldness from the giver and humility from the recipient. It’s difficult to accept advice from those we do not respect or trust.  

Lord, grant that we may follow Your example in all things. Teach us to have empathy, grace, boldness, and humility. Help us to give and accept correction when necessary.

Total Surrender

"Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine." (Luke 22:42 NLT)

The ability to drive our own vehicles provides us with a great deal of independence. We can come and go when we want, which gives us a sense of control. We find comfort in having access to all our stuff. Thus, even when we do not know where we are going, we prefer to follow someone in our own car rather than ride as a passenger.  

The desire for independence makes us reluctant to submit to God. Even when we attempt to follow God, we would rather do so on our own terms. God asks us to be a passenger in His car--where He decides the destination, the speed, the pit stops, the music, the temperature, the snacks...everything. He wants us to surrender in total trust--not even concerned about where we are going--but completely at peace, knowing that as long as we are with God, all is as it should be.

Crossroads

Your own ears will hear him. Right behind you a voice will say, "This is the way you should go," whether to the right or to the left. (Isaiah 30:21 NLT)

A few years ago, all our relatives gathered in Detroit, Michigan, for my cousin’s wedding. On the morning of the wedding, my husband and I drove to the church in our car. My uncle was following behind us in an another car--loaded with older relatives.  The city was unfamiliar to all of us, but my husband and I used GPS to find our way. My uncle didn’t know how to operate his GPS; neither did any of the 0thers in his car.  He told us to lead the way; he would just keep up with us. In the congested traffic of Detroit, our cars got separated. My uncle called me on my cell phone. He wasn’t sure where he was and wondered if I could just give him directions. As I was telling him where to turn, I could hear the voices of other relatives from his car telling him what to do as well. I could tell he was distracted and overwhelmed. He didn’t have a pen to write things down, and he probably wouldn’t be able to remember the street names and turns. I asked him to pull over at the nearest business. We retraced the way and found his car. This time, my uncle followed us closely and we all finally made it to the church.

I know that was a long story, but it illustrates several important points. When we are following God, we too are likely to get lost. What should we do?  

--Look for Him.

--Call Him.

--Listen carefully.

--Write things down.

--Don’t get distracted by other voices. 

Every crossroad is a pivotal juncture. Don’t try to figure things out on your own. Don’t wander down wayward paths, deviating from your intended destination. Instead, stick close to Jesus; the Lord will direct you, turn by turn.

Counselor

“True wisdom and real power belong to God; from him we learn how to live, and also what to live for.” (Job 12:13 MSG)

Do you have at least one person who can speak truth and wisdom into your life? Can you accept instruction and correction from this person? Do you have a teachable spirit?

My high school guidance counselor was indifferent and incompetent. He didn’t seem to know much about me, nor did he care to find out. Being the eldest child in a first-generation, immigrant family, I was used to figuring things out on my own. Thus, it wasn’t until my mid-twenties that I discovered the value of having a mentor. Over the last two decades, I’ve  been blessed with several women who have filled this role. They walked with me through trials and held me accountable when I got off track. They didn’t attempt to be my counselors; instead, they pointed me to God. They taught me to listen to the Spirit within me, to pay attention to Divine intuition, and to develop discernment.

God is the source of true wisdom and real power,  from whom we learn how to live, and als0 what to live for. This knowledge is profoundly deep. It requires quietness, patience, and attentiveness. The Spirit of God guides unobtrusively. It takes a great deal of practice to become aware of His hovering presence, to differentiate His voice from the noise of our own egos, and to live in accordance to His directives.   

Holy Spirit, help me to sense Your presence, to hear and understand your instructions, to follow Your guidance, and to live according to Your purpose.

Reflective Dust

“That provoked Jesus, who was teaching in the Temple, to cry out, "Yes, you think you know me and where I'm from, but that's not where I'm from. I didn't set myself up in business. My true origin is in the One who sent me, and you don't know him at all.” (John 7:28-29 MSG)

Have you ever wondered why it looks dark in outer space? Shouldn’t the sun and all the other stars of the universe light up everything?  Well, one of the reasons for this is that humans can only see the visible spectrum of light. Our eyes can’t detect light unless it reflects off of something and hits our retinas. The dust in our atmosphere enables us to see sunlight during daytime. From the moon, space looks black even if you are facing the sun. This is because the moon has no atmospheric layer of dust. When we see a lily, what we are actually seeing is the light reflected off of the flower. We  have learned to label that pattern of light as ‘flower’ and ‘beautiful’ in our minds. Next time we see the same flower or something similar, our brains use our previous experience to make sense of this particular arrangement of light.  

Many of us think we understand the world around us. We look at the visible light that bounces off of dust and call it reality. Many of us also think we know God. Jesus reflected the Father, making the radiant light of God visible to humans. However, humans often see their preconceptions instead of the glory of God. We are merely transient dust, reflecting our surroundings.

If we had spiritual vision, we would be able to see the invisible light that surrounds us in every direction. We would recognize the power and goodness of God in our lives, know what to call it, and be eager to point it out to others.

Lord, grant me spiritual vision, so that I may recognize and affirm your glory.

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Reflecting God

“Those who speak for themselves want glory only for themselves, but a person who seeks to honor the one who sent him speaks truth, not lies.” (John 7:18 NLT)

Speech is one of the most common forms of self-expression. It allows us to convey our emotions, knowledge, and opinions. What we say can bring honor or shame--not just to ourselves, but also to those whom we represent.

Jesus spoke in ways that honored His Father.

He didn’t ask: Is this going to make me look good?

His only concern was: Is this going to bring glory to God?

He didn’t seek self-glorification.

He reflected God, while deflecting attention from Himself. 

Lord, teach me to be more concerned about Your glory than my own.

Self-Examination

"Follow me and be my disciple," Jesus said to him. (Matthew 9:9 NLT)

Zumba, a dance based fitness program, can be a fun way to exercise. Many gyms offer group classes with energetic instructors and up-tempo music. The first few times I did Zumba, I thought I was following along pretty well. Then I did a class in a room that had wall-to-wall mirrors. My moves did not look like the instructor’s. My timing was usually a bit off and much less graceful. Without the mirrors, I was blissfully unaware. The mirrors made me self-conscious, but they also helped me improve.

Many Christians attempt to imitate Christ in their daily lives. We observe our Instructor and try to follow along. We imagine that we are doing a pretty good job, but careful self-examination reveals otherwise. Our timing is off, our movements incomplete, and our attitude ungraceful. This realization can lead us to modify our behavior and follow along better.  

“Imitate Christ in your loving spirits; speak kindly, act kindly, and do kindly, that men may say of you, “He has been with Jesus.” (C.H. Spurgeon)

Moving Walkways

“The slacker craves, yet has nothing, but the diligent is fully satisfied.” (Proverbs 13:4 HCSB)

Most major airports have moving walkways and escalators for passengers who do not want to walk or climb stairs. Until a few years ago, I always availed myself of the opportunity to use these conveniences. I didn’t see any reason to exert myself unnecessarily. These days, I have become one of those people who takes every chance to be physically active. My overall health has improved greatly because of this shift in attitude. I often overhear people say that they would like to be healthier, but not many want to change their lifestyle. They want the gain, but without much pain. 

Human souls crave to experience God, to breathe in the Spirit. Yet we are reluctant to exert ourselves. Corporate religion provides us with moving walkways and escalators of faith--a place to see and be seen by others, passive movement, all with minimal personal effort. Spiritual health requires more. It involves time, energy, persistence, concentration, and  discernment.  Godliness has to cultivated; it doesn’t just grow on its own. Enduring reverence and robust faith can only be produced by consistent, active, side-by-side participation with Christ.

Cornerstone

“For Jesus is the one referred to in the Scriptures, where it says, 'The stone that you builders rejected has now become the cornerstone.’” (Acts 4:11)

The foundation, although mostly out of sight, is one of the most integral structures of a house. The cornerstone is the first stone placed in masonry foundations. It is the standard reference point that determines the placement of everything else in a construction project. If the foundation is flawed, the building will have problems--crooked walls, sloping floors, lopsided doorways, etc. You can spend all the money you have on designing, building, and decorating a house, but the issues will still remain.  

Jesus is the cornerstone, the standard to which everything else is held. Conforming to anything other than Him for strength and support leads to a misaligned life. When we are grounded in Christ, our foundation is stable. When we are built up in Christ, we grow in faith and discernment. When we are established in Christ, we take part in His legitimacy and integrity.

Commit and Trust

"Jesus told them, 'This is the only work God wants from you: Believe in the one he has sent.'" (John 6:29 NLT)

What does God want from us?

If you are anything like me, this is a question you ask yourself frequently. You may have felt you had an answer, but then wonder whether you misheard the directions or unwittingly got off track. The only work God wants from us is to believe, trust, commit everything to Jesus.

How can we implement this?

“Commit everything you do to the LORD. Trust him, and he will help you.” (Psalm 37:5 NLT) 

Don’t fret or worry. Transfer your burdens onto God’s shoulders; keep company with Him. Quiet down before God; open up before Him; prayerfully listen. Let God direct you. Be patient. Don’t get upset when the worldly get ahead. Instead, wait expectantly for God to set things right. Travel steadily along His path. Take great joy in the Lord; settle down in Him. Delegate your concerns to Him. Put your confidence in God. He will do whatever needs to be done.

Habits

“He continued his habit of retiring to deserted places and praying.” (Luke 5:16 ISV)

Many Catholic nuns wear habits--the traditional garb of a tunic covered by a scapular and a veil. The habit is a visible sign that the nun is consecrated to God.

In the Middle Ages, people from many trades and professions wore habits--clothing which represented their vocation, derived from the Latin vocare--to call. The word ‘habit’ comes from the Latin habitus which means customary practice or usual mode of action. Habits applied to both inner and outer states of being. These days we use the word vocation interchangeably with profession. We no longer think much about our calling. Furthermore, our daily habits, outside of work, usually have little to do with our vocation.

Jesus made a habit of getting away from people and praying. He inhaled and exhaled the Spirit. He ingested and digested the Word. His outer being matched his inner being. His habits reflected His calling. His life was a profession of faith.

Lord, show me what you are calling me to be. Let my inner and outer habits represent my vocation.

The One I Seek

“Let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.” (Hebrews 12:1-2 MSG)

A few weeks before Christmas, I ran a long distance race in Florida. As we were waiting to start, I saw several people dressed in Santa costumes. A young woman near me had quite an elaborate costume: red leggings with candy-cane socks, fur-trimmed, red tunic top, black belt, and a head band with mistletoe extending out in front of her face. She had obviously put a lot of thought and time into creating this outfit. Runners in costumes always garner a lot of attention at races--people love to pose for pictures with them. However, many of these outfits are not practical in the long run.  During that race in Florida, the temperature got uncomfortably high. Many of us were taking off layers as we progressed through the miles. Santa-girl ran beside me for several miles, her mistletoe head bopper bouncing prettily with each step. Before long, she fell behind. After I finished the race, I saw her in the parking lot; her costume was still intact. I wondered whether she finished the race, or just quit.

Faith is not a leisurely vacation away from reality; it is an endurance race with purpose. We may create elaborate disguises that garner attention and admiration from the crowd around us: relationships that come with influence and power, achievements that result in recognition, acquisitions that bring delight, enterprises that earn us praise. It is natural to become quite attached to habits that make us popular. However, these unnecessary layers can slow us down. We have to be willing to throw off anything that entangles, constricts, or impedes our progress. Otherwise, we won’t be able to keep up with the One who leads us.

What is your goal? What do you seek? What habits are slowing you down?

Internal Crazy-making

“Now with the voice of truth and power of God—armed on the right and armed on the left with righteousness from God—we continue.” (2 Corinthians 6:7 VOICE)

Crazy-making often starts off externally, but continued exposure can cause internal damage. Like malware on a computer, it infects our psychological operating system. Beneath our conscious awareness, our subconscious runs in the background, influencing our thoughts and actions.

If I could name my subconscious, her name would be Isha. This ancient word is found in many languages--in Hebrew it means woman; in Sanskrit it means woman. It also happens to be part of my first name. I like the symbolism that all this represents.  If I had to describe my subconscious, Isha, I would say she was created to be fully functional, balanced, and strong--but, like any operating system, she is vulnerable to attack. My subconscious has been infiltrated and altered by several malware programs:

Critisha--This the self-critical voice within me that reminds me of my failures and weaknesses.

Worrisha--This is the part of my subconscious that constantly asks, “What if?” She is also skilled at coming up with worst-case scenarios for every situation.

Guiltisha--smears blame and shame all over my mind, skewing my perspective and blocking truth.

By naming my subconscious and all her altered versions, I am trying to understand myself. As I become more tuned-in, I am able to recognize thoughts that are  crippling and self-limiting. These corrupt patches of my mind need to be rooted out, so that I can be healed of this internal crazy-making.

Lord, may Your voice of truth speak over me, awakening your power within me.  In Your goodness, teach me to fight and defend against harmful thoughts.

External Crazy-making

“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God?” (Galatians 1:10 NIV)

Do certain people make you feel crazy?  

I have several crazy-makers in my life. They use guilt, drama, and criticism to manipulate others into their way of thinking. Inhaling the secondhand smoke of their irrationality can be toxic. The more time I spend around them, the more confused I become.

What is the best way to handle crazy-makers?

“I’ve discovered that the only way I can take care of myself in these interactions is to be mindful that my sense of confusion is telling me that this is a crazy making interaction and that I need to disengage from it.” (Margaret Paul, Ph.D)

Once we recognize a crazy-making relationship, the best thing to do is to disengage, walk away, and make ourselves unavailable. Resist the urge to react, respond, explain, defend, or get angry. These behaviors will not affect the crazy-maker; it merely draws you into their web of chaos and drains your strength.

Why do we continue to expose ourselves to crazy-making behavior?

Oftentimes we feel we don’t have any other option. The crazy-makers may be relatives or co-workers, whose approval we subconsciously crave. If we disengage from these people, the world may condemn us. Continuing to expose ourselves to these relationships may erode our sanity, but in distancing ourselves we also pay a social cost. Thus, in order to separate ourselves from the toxicity, we must forego our need for human affirmation and rely solely on God’s seal of approval.

Invisible

“If we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin.”(1 John 1:7 NLT)

Many women I know feel unheard, unnoticed, or irrelevant. It’s like we are covered by a cloak of invisibility. Are we responsible for making ourselves inconsequential? Are we choosing to stay hidden? Do we intentionally invalidate or diminish ourselves?

When I am depressed, overwhelmed, or upset, I feel like I just need to get away from people. There have been times in my life when all I wanted to do was hide in my house, close the curtains, and be by myself. I didn’t want to take a shower or change clothes. I didn’t even want to turn the lights on. I wanted to remain dirty and in the dark, because it fit my mood.

This desire for isolation and escape during crises is not uncommon, but it isn’t necessarily a healthy, long-term choice. When we close ourselves off, we tend to wallow in self-pity, insecurity, and shame. Then again, being indiscriminately open can also be harmful. We have to recognize our vulnerability and find a safe, supportive environment where we can be ourselves. This is not easy. It has to be cultivated and tended, preferably before a crisis hits, when we have time and energy to spare.

As long as we measure our worth by our own merit, we will continue to feel ashamed, yucky, and powerless. How we proceed is up to us. We can choose to be in the shadows, or we can walk in the light. We can isolate ourselves from everyone, or we can cultivate sincere relationships. We can settle for invisibility, or we can move forward with the One who made us worthy.

Dunce Caps

“The days of punishment are coming, the days of reckoning are at hand.” (Hosea 9:7 NIV)

During Victorian times, dunce caps were a form of punishment for school children who refused to learn. Unruly students were often made to stand in the corner wearing conical hats, labeled with the letter “D” on them. The teachers hoped to make the students think about their behavior while suffering through the humiliation.

Up until recently, my country has been at the top of the class--privileged in many ways. Things have slipped. A culture of resentment has led to indifference for the plight of those who are deemed different. Social exclusion, divisiveness, and hate have become commonplace. Our reluctance to learn from mistakes has earned us a dunce cap labeled with a capital “D”. It’s embarrassing and sad to see other countries point and laugh at our humiliation. Whether it will bring about any changes in perspective and attitude is yet to be seen.