Jael the Homemaker-Assassin

Buried in the book of Judges is the story of Jael. She is described as “most blessed of homemaking women.” (Judges 5:24-27 MSG)

So, how come we don’t hear much about this paragon of womanhood?

Well, here’s the rest of Jael’s story: Sisera, a cruel oppressing general, comes to her tent (home) asking for a drink of water. She decides to be extra hospitable—gives him milk in a nice bowl. After the oppressor falls asleep, Jael drives a tent peg through his head and kills him!

I’m not sure what to make of this story…but for some reason, I’m amused by it. I’m not advocating that anyone kill their unwanted guests. However, I’m intrigued by this obscure character from the Bible. Why is she called ‘most blessed of homemaking women’, and then, a few lines later, she is smashing someone’s head in?

My thoughts: Jael was not about to let a tyrant oppress her in her own home. So she lulled him into complacency and then, like any good homemaker, she ‘took care’ of the tyrant.

As women, we have the right to defend our homes against tyrants. We need to know when to put a stop to the nonsense, when to say enough is enough…when to put a peg in it.  

Praise

(Psalm Study)

“Let every created thing give praise to the Lord.” (Psalm 148:5)

Praise is about acknowledging greatness and worth. When I acknowledge God’s greatness with every breath and take His power as a given in every situation, then it completely changes my perspective.

We are living in a world that is absolutely transparent and the divine is shining through it all the time." -- Thomas Merton

I must admit that it is easier to notice the divine in pleasant experiences—the birds, trees swaying in the wind, and a child’s smile. Yet, I also notice God’s glory in the worst situations. Not at first, because I have a hard time looking past the mess. But once I learn to focus a bit beyond the horrible circumstances, I notice God’s divine light shining through, albeit faintly, because it is covered in mud. 

Lord, help me to look beyond the unpleasantness and notice your divine light in all circumstances. I want to live in such a way that takes your power and greatness for granted. I don’t want to worry or be anxious about anything; instead I shall praise you—acknowledge your greatness and trustworthiness. 

Serenity Bubbles

In my last post, I talked about creating little pockets of peace amidst periods of oppression. Even when we can’t escape physically, we can mentally get away to a happy place. I’d like to mention a few such moments that have lightened my load. I think of them as my own private serenity bubbles.

--I recall moments of laughter with my husband and son.

--I remember all the pretty hikes with my dog.

--I relive the sweet memory of sitting in my friend’s kitchen while she cooked me the most wonderful nurturing food and served it with pure love.

--I have a picture of an old, rickety cabin surrounded by mountains and a river. I imagine myself in this place, snuggled in peace and privacy.

--I think of how things could be worse and thank God for the blessings I have right now.

--I remind myself of witty quotes I’ve read.

--I think of times I’ve walked around Costco with good friends. (Yes, I know it’s weird, but it’s my bubble, so don’t judge!)

--I write—in my head.

--I repeat strengthening Bible verses in my mind. 

Serenity bubbles are fragile and can burst easily. Thus, I’m protective of these pleasant memories and rarely speak of them. I try not to expose them to the harshness of reality. Like heirloom glass balls, I keep them safely wrapped up in my hope chest. On difficult days, I take them out, one by one. An inexplicable calm and strength comes over me. And then…I wrap them back up and put them away securely. 

Rehabilitation

How come some prisoners serve their sentence and come out rehabilitated, while others just become hardened criminals? I read some accounts written by ex-convicts who came out of their periods of incarceration as better individuals. Most of them cited education and supportive relationships as integral to rehabilitation. 

Nelson Mandela, who was a political prisoner for more than 27 years, shared the following lessons from prison life: Look brave even when you don’t feel brave. Create little pockets of peace.

Viktor Frankl, who was imprisoned in a German concentration camp, said the following: “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.” 

If we are going through a prison-like experience, is there a way to use this time to reform ourselves?

When our independence is taken away from us for a period of time, we learn to appreciate many little things we used to take for granted and still do. We learn empathy for those in similar circumstances. We also learn about our own strengths and flaws and our subconscious beliefs. This is our education. 

Some of us are blessed with supportive relationships—people who can be relied on even in the worst of circumstances. It is invaluable to have at least one person in your life who is consistently available, encouraging, and empowering. 

Prison takes away our freedom to make many choices, but it also clarifies the choices that we have left. We can choose our attitude. We can choose to be brave even when we are frightened. We can create little pockets of peace—appreciating every minute of privacy, enjoying a bit of fresh air, sharing laughter with a friend, focusing on something beautiful for a little while, showing kindness to a fellow prisoner, savoring every pleasant second, and reminiscing about sweet memories. 

Good Bitch

My favorite scene from the movie The Wizard of Oz is when Glinda the Good Witch tells the Wicked Witch: “Oh rubbish. You have no power here…Begone!”

This scene raises a lot of questions for me:

1.     How can I recognize ‘rubbish’ when I hear it?

2.     Why do I give others power over me?

3.     Do I really have the power to dismissively shoo off Wicked Witches?

4.     Does it take a Good Witch (or Bitch) to handle a Wicked Witch (or Bitch)?

“A Bitch occupies a lot of psychological space. You always know she is around. A Bitch takes shit from no one. You may not like her, but you cannot ignore her.” (from the ‘The Bitch Manifesto’ by Joreen) 

Until I saw The Wizard of Oz, I always thought of all witches as evil. If it takes a Good Witch to dismiss a Wicked Witch, then it must take a Good Bitch to confront a Wicked Bitch. My Inner Bitch stays dormant most of the time. I’m not really proud of her, but I keep her around for emergencies. Someone recently pointed out to me that it might be time to retire the Good Bitch costume; that it doesn’t suit me anymore. I’m not sure I agree.

I release my Inner Good Bitch when confronted by a Wicked Bitch. The Good Bitch recognizes ‘rubbish’ when she hears it. She doesn’t cower or allow evil to overpower her. Instead, she banishes evil with a wave of her hand, saying: You have no power here…Begone!

Let It Be

The Beatles released their famous song “Let It Be” in the same month and year that I was born.

“When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom let it be
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom let it be…”

I want to learn how to let things be….especially situations and people that I have no control over anyway. Instead, I get all riled up and upset about every injustice, false statement, and unfair criticism. I am fiercely loyal to those I love. When someone speaks negatively about one of my loved ones, I cannot let it be. This gets me involved in unproductive conflicts. I wish I could just ignore it and walk away—or just avoid those people.

However, when I cannot get away from a conflict, I resort to confrontation management. I decide to stand up for my beliefs and not back down. I use every weapon at my disposal; I show no mercy, and I unapologetically defend those I love.

I cannot control the attitudes of those critical people. I can’t change their opinions no matter what I say in response. So, I need divine help to ‘let it be’—even when I feel defensive. I need to trust that God is in charge of every battle. I only need to fight when He instructs me to do so.  

Masking Tape Fixes

“The Lord is great, with limitless strength; we’ll never comprehend what he knows and does.” (Ps. 147:2-6 MSG)

  

Lord, I’m thankful that you are my strong, wise, always dependable, reliable Father. I need you today. You know the big picture. I don’t. You know how all things fit together. You are in charge. You have always been there for me. I want to be confident and peaceful in your care…but I’m feeling anxious and overwhelmed.

What if I called in an electrician or plumber to fix a problem in my home and then hovered over him saying inane things like: What are you doing? Do you know what you’re doing? Maybe you should try some masking tape, I’ve got masking tape; do you want me to go get it? I’m not sure you look like you know what you’re doing!”

My hovering and suggestions would be distracting. My lack of confidence would be draining.  

I want to be confident in God, to trust Him to take care of everything. Since I’m not quite up to this level, I try to project the image of the person I want to be. I suggest masking tape fixes to problems that are way beyond my comprehension level. But God knows my heart, my weaknesses, my fears, my circumstantial peace, and my lack of faith. He knows the root of every problem. He treats the disease, not just the symptoms. 

“But I, God, search the heart and examine the mind. I get to the heart of the human. I get to the root of things. I treat them as they really are, not as they pretend to be.” (Jeremiah 17:9-10 MSG)