Entwined for Eternity

"I'm after love--Not more religion. I want you to know God. Not go to more prayer meetings." (Hosea 6:6 MSG)

Wrestling is a popular sport in our area. The school gym is packed with parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, and neighbors during wrestling meets. The spectators on the bleachers are there to cheer and support the athletes as they wrestle. Most of them have other stuff to occupy their time as they sit on the sidelines--smartphones, tablets, homework, knitting, etc. Unlike the spectators, the wrestlers on the mat are intensely focused. They feel the pain of twisting limbs, the sweat trickling down their brows. They are aware of each second that passes. They are committed to the task at hand. 

The spiritual practices that I have followed up to this point in my life now feel ill-fitting. Either I have grown, or the rituals have shrunk. I feel like a spectator on the sidelines of faith, occupied by distractions--nominally present. 

Lord, how do I get back to knowing and loving you? What do YOU want from me? What do I want from YOU?

God wants to have an intimate relationship with each of us. He wants us to know Him. We are created with a need to feel understood. This deep knowing is like wrestling--both exhausting and exhilarating at the same time. This is not a spectator sport that can be enjoyed from the sidelines. We cannot read a page of scripture or attend a prayer meeting and then go on about life as usual. A commitment to truth must become central while lifestyle concerns become peripheral. This level of deep knowing requires intense, focused attention. It is a merging of love, faithfulness, constancy, intimacy.

Into me see

I open up to thee

Immersed in each other

Entwined for eternity.

Conscious of My Sin

 “Father, I have done a terrible wrong in God’s sight and in your sight too.” (Luke 15:21 VOICE)

Old homes in humid areas can often have mold issues. Moisture accumulation on porous surfaces creates an ideal environment for mold spores to grow and spread. Once established, mold removal can be difficult. When we lived in Houston, Texas, I noticed many homeowners would accept mold in their bathrooms and laundry rooms as inevitable. Home sellers and landlords would just whitewash over the problem with a coat of paint. Home buyers and renters probably knew there was mold under the surface, but as long as it looked decent, most everyone was willing to overlook the problem.

“We choose to stay ignorant by looking away and finding comfort in a perspective where we are not the problem.” (Danielle Powell)

Until recently, I thought of myself as a decent human being. I was aware that I had some flaws, but I had learned to camouflage them in justifications. After all, everyone had issues. Over the last few months, I have become deeply conscious of the mold under the surface of my public persona. I have had to face the ugliness within me--my desire to hang on to the advantages I have, even if that is disadvantageous for others. Thus far, I have glossed over my sinful thoughts by believing and repeating narratives that allow me to continue the status quo and maintain my privileged status. 

Like the prodigal son, I am now jarringly aware of my sinfulness. I can no longer hide it. I can sincerely pray: I am a sinner. I have done terrible wrongs in God’s sight. I want to change. I don’t know how. I cannot do it on my own. Lord, please help me.

“Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.” (Psalm 51:2 NIV)

Sabbatical Phases

“Sow your land for six years and gather in its crops, but in the seventh year leave it alone and give it a rest so that your poor may eat from it. What they leave, let the wildlife have.” (Exodus 23:11 MSG)

In the last few months, there has been a tremendous downturn in both the global health and economy. Productivity and consumption have been reduced as many people work remotely or are unemployed. Even essential workers spend less as their incomes are reduced. The future feels uncertain for everyone, but the poorest of the poor suffer most. 

Is there anything positive that can come from this period of inevitable unproductivity? 

The Bible prescribes sabbatical years where the land remains fallow. It is time to reset and restore. Unlike other biblical regulations, this one has been completely ignored as having no value in modern times. Why? We live in an era where monetary profit, by any means necessary, is held up as the goal.  The poor are seen as lazy. Unproductivity is deemed evil. Busy-ness is confused with business--even when it is inessential. 

Perhaps we can use this time to rethink our priorities, reevaluate what really matters. This time of retreat, if used thoughtfully, could bring us clarity. I, for one, have been doing the uncomfortable work of cleaning my mental closets--which have been filled with beliefs and habits that are no longer useful. Now that I have fewer distractions than before, I have more time to confront these predispositions. There is loss and grief. There is illness and instability. There is anxiety and uncertainty. Yet, even during these fallow phases of life, when I feel vulnerable and restless, I allow God to teach me what I need to learn and guide me in the direction I need to go. 

A Life Worth Living

“Whoever wants to embrace life and see the day fill up with good,

Here’s what you do: say nothing evil or hurtful; snub evil and cultivate good.” (1 Peter 3:10 MSG)

As the pandemic tides continue to wash over the world, my family has made peace with the new normal. My husband, a physician, goes to work at the hospital. Other than this essential work, we have been sheltering in place for the last four months. There was a period of grief and loss while I reevaluated my previous habits and lifestyle. I miss hugging my friends, group runs, browsing at the library, and picking out my own groceries. Many of the activities that filled my life with pleasure, amusement, and excitement now seem outdated. However, not everyone feels this way. There are many who long for the ‘before times’--when we could eat in restaurants, travel, shop, gather in our homes with friends and extended family, and congregate in stadiums. We have difficulty imagining that a life devoid of these activities can be worth living. This has led me to contemplate the following question: 

What makes life worth living? 

From a materialistic point of view, a successful life is filled with achievements, wealth, power, status, influence, popularity, accumulation of possessions, attractive appearance, and others to validate our significance. From a spiritual perspective, a worthwhile life is one that snubs evil and cultivates good. This requires a great deal of contemplation. Materialism is like an invasive weed that chokes out spiritual growth. It leaves very little soil for nourishing our inner being. Is life worth living if we experience every pleasure this world has to offer while our souls wither away?

The Sin of Prejudice

“When you show prejudice you commit sin and you violate this royal law of love!” (James 2:9 TPT)

I like dogs. I am partial to golden retrievers, because I am familiar with this breed. I have minimal experience with other types of dogs. I have read that certain breeds can be more aggressive than others. One of my neighbors owns several boxers. These dogs often bark and chase after me when I run by their yard, so I have changed my running route to avoid that area.  Recently, some new neighbors moved into a house on a different street nearby. As I ran by their home, I spotted two large boxers. My heart was filled with fear. I did not know if these dogs were aggressive, but I assumed they were, based on my preconceived notions about this breed. I had pre-judged them. These dogs turned out to be calm and well-mannered. My prejudice was misplaced. 

Prejudice is any preconceived opinion, either favorable or unfavorable, about a person who belongs to a certain group. Guessing someone’s character--based on the color of his skin, the texture of his hair, the language he speaks, the clothes he wears--is a sign of mental laziness. Yes, it takes some time and effort to figure out each person individually. Yes, it would be easier to stick with our own kind. Yes, it is uncomfortable to place ourselves in environments where we feel vulnerable. However, prejudice is a sin that is just as serious as murder or adultery. We cannot claim to love Christ and practice discrimination by our thoughts, words, actions, or inactions. 

Humility and Self-loathing

“Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.” ( Psalm 139:14 NLT)

When I was a teenager, a friend of mine bought a used car for $500. She was really excited about it since it was her first car. The tires were bald, the body had dents and scratches, and the engine made strange noises. It looked like a piece of junk, but I didn’t have the heart to point that out. She must have read my mind, because she said: “I know it needs some work, but my dad can fix anything.” I didn’t know her dad, but I took her at her word.  Her confidence in her dad’s ability to turn this situation around influenced my perspective as well. Suddenly, I could see the car as a piece of junk with potential to be a serviceable vehicle. 

We are all broken, sinful, and in need of restoration. However, in the absence of faith, insecurities can sour into self-hate--which can then lead to bitterness and despair.  Humility allows us to acknowledge our flaws and inadequacies. Trust in God grants us a fresh perspective. Our focus shifts from our imperfections to our Father’s ability to fix anything. We are wonderfully complex beings--created and restored by the most marvelous hands. We shall remain works in progress throughout our lifetimes, because we have a God who never gives up on us. 

Humility and Honor

“Haughtiness goes before destruction; humility precedes honor.” (Proverbs 18:12 NLT)

Military parades have long been used by autocratic leaders to show off their might. Tanks rolling down public streets, aircraft flyovers, marching soldiers who turn to salute dictators--these scenes are common in totalitarian regimes, but rare in democratic countries. However, on July 4th, 2019, a similar military parade was ordered by the U.S. President. At an estimated cost of over five million dollars, this extravaganza was meant to be a display of power. A year later, most people have completely forgotten about this expensive event. 

Self-aggrandizement usually brings ridicule, not respect. Attention-seeking behavior may lead to notoriety, but not honor. Virtue, modesty, integrity, and dignity are signs of nobility. Those who are confident rarely resort to puffery.

Scriptures teach us that haughtiness goes before destruction, and humility precedes honor. Self-indulgence and hubris caused the fall of humanity. Christ’s sacrificial love restored us to a state of grace. As followers of Christ, let us follow humbly in His footsteps--exalting God, not ourselves.