Buffer Zone

“A Holy Place is to be dedicated from this area in the form of a square measuring 500 by 500 cubits, with a 50 cubit buffer zone surrounding it.” (Ezekiel 45:2 ISV)

The DMZ (Demilitarized Zone) between North Korea and South Korea is 4 km wide and 250 km long. Established in 1953, it has served as a buffer zone between these two countries which share similar ancestry but are now different culturally and philosophically. The DMZ itself has very little civilian activity; thus, it has become a haven for wildlife. With its forests and migratory birds, it can look deceptively peaceful. However, it is still an active war zone with hidden landmines. South Korea offers guided tours to the restricted parts of its side of the DMZ, but it warns everyone to not cross the boundary lines for any reason.

Buffer zones reduce the potential for conflict. In every area of life-- relationships, routines, finances, work, family, homes, private, social, spiritual, or worldly--transitional spaces mitigate friction. Boundaries are harder to manage without a certain amount of margin for the unavoidable trespasses. For example, I have a certain amount of time scheduled for prayer every morning. I leave a bit of a buffer zone around my expectations, knowing that on some days, things are going to come up. This reduces my angst and helps me set apart some time from inevitable daily demands.  Similarly, I establish a DMZ around relationships that have a history of antagonism. Even when things look amicable, there are hidden landmines waiting to explode. I know, from past experience, that it is wise not to cross this buffer zone for any reason. Demarcating a wide area around boundaries protects what is important. It cushions against competing interests. It shields what is sacred from invasion.

Regression Triggers

“Backsliders get what they deserve; good people receive their reward.” (Proverbs 14:14 NLT)

Maturity is not linear. A certain amount of regression is a natural part of the growth process. If we are climbing a hill, two steps forward and then one step back leads to a gradual ascent; one step forward and one step back results in stagnancy; one step forward and two steps back ends up in regression. The more steps we can take forward and the less we slide back, the more we progress.

Backsliding is not intentional; in fact, it is the opposite. Progress takes deliberate activity, while relapses are a result of aimless passivity. Unless we become aware of our regression triggers and learn to avoid them, we are doomed to repeated setbacks.  Here are a few common conditions that may exacerbate weaknesses: reunions with relatives, physical exhaustion, emotional stress, travel, overbooked schedules, exposure to others who bring out dysfunction, and environments that pander to your addictions.

Every child at the playground knows that it takes more effort to go up the ladder of a slide than to slip down the smooth chute. Forward movement requires courage and forethought, especially when you have to break away from the herd. The journey can be lonesome, the path often unclear, the ascent arduous.  But in the end, the rewards of transformation are worth the struggle.

Giving and Receiving

“Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet.” (John 13:14 NIV)

While others may find pedicures, manicures, massages, and haircuts relaxing, I find these procedures uncomfortable. I don’t like to be touched by strangers, and by strangers, I mean anyone other than my closest family and friends. For many years, I never admitted this weird aversion to anyone, not even to myself. I just kept avoiding or putting off all appointments that required people getting physically close to me. One of my close friends must have figured this out, because she suggested that I let her do my hair. Even though I was comfortable around her, it was difficult for me to accept her kindness. I didn’t want to rely on her or take advantage of our friendship. After several days of repeated offers, I relented. She colored, washed, and dried my hair tenderly while we talked transparently about whatever happened to be on our minds. It felt therapeutic and relaxing.

Jesus taught us to wash each others’ feet--to minister to each other with humility and love. Serving others is complicated; it takes selflessness on the part of the giver and a suspension of self-consciousness on the part of the recipient. I had to humble myself to accept help from a friend, admit that I was lacking, and place myself in a position of vulnerability. I had to yield my sense of self-sufficiency. My friend had to give up her time and energy to minister to me. She had to push gently at my resistance. All of this took a great deal of persistence and grace on her part. Giving makes us feel noble, while receiving makes us feel humble. Thus, both require repeated practice.

Private and Public Gifts

“When someone speaks in tongues, no one understands a word he says, because he’s not speaking to people, but to God—he is speaking intimate mysteries in the Spirit. But when someone prophesies, he speaks to encourage people, to build them up, and to bring them comfort.” (1 Corinthians 14:2-3 TNT)

When I am with certain members of my extended family, I speak a language that is foreign to most of my friends. I don’t use this language in front of those who don’t understand it, because it feels rude to exclude anyone. Instead, I try to speak whatever language is most easily understood by those who are present.

1 Corinthians 14 stresses the difference between two gifts of the Holy Spirit: speaking in tongues and prophecy. Speaking in tongues is an intimate language between an individual and the Spirit. The rational mind remains disconnected while the soul communicates with God. Although speaking in tongues may advance your own spiritual progress, it does not do anything for others who are present. Prophecy, on the other hand, is intelligible and inclusive. It encourages people, builds them up, and brings them comfort. It can be used to instruct and strengthen others.

“When you conduct your meetings, you should always let everything be done to build up the church family. Whether you share a song of praise, a teaching, a divine revelation, or a tongue and interpretation, let each one contribute what strengthens others.” (1 Corinthians 14:26 TPT)

There is a place and time for every spiritual gift. Some are best suited for private worship, while others are more useful in group settings. Let us contribute whatever promotes faith and understanding in others, while also practicing every gift that connects us individually to God.

Source of Joy

“The joy of the Lord is your strength.” (Nehemiah 8:10)

This is a powerful verse. Unfortunately, ‘joy’ is one of those words that is so overused that its meaning has been diminished. Words like fun, pleasure, happiness, joy, enjoyment, comfort, and love are all conflated to express the same emotion. For example, most of the following words are often used interchangeably:

I enjoy buying new shoes.

I especially love trail shoes.

It’s a pleasure to run in them.

These shoes come in fun colors and are so comfortable!

New shoes make me happy.

They bring me joy!

The dilution of significant words prevents us from understanding God’s word. When transcendent ecstasy is placed on the same lower shelf with generic fun, ignorance becomes the norm while understanding remains an anomaly. In order to reverse this trend, we must carefully study scripture under the tutelage of the Holy Spirit. Take time to consider and weigh each word. Use every tool and method available. If it helps, rewrite each verse until you understand it from every angle.

Looking at Nehemiah 8:10 from this fresh perspective helps us to understand it more fully:

Your bliss is rooted in the Lord; thus, it is the source of your inner strength.

Your deepest satisfaction comes from aligning with the Lord’s purpose.

Fulfilling God’s will leads to elation and energy.

Spark Joy

“I take joy in doing your will, my God. “ (Psalm 40:8 NLT)

Marie Kondo, the popular organizing consultant, has convinced thousands of people to get rid of things that don’t spark joy. Her methods of tidying up are radical. It involves taking every item you own, deciding whether or not it sparks joy, and discarding everything that does not meet this criterion.

I wonder if a similar method can be used to declutter my spiritual life. Lately I have noticed a gradual accumulation of my own wants. My intentions and ideas have a greater influence over my choices than God’s will. My desire to be in control of my life and my environment has caused this disorder.

I would like to submit my life to God’s will so that I can be cleansed and sanctified. What if I let God go through my wants and take out anything that does not spark joy for HIM? How would my life change? What thoughts, attitudes, and behavior would have to be discarded? What routines and relationships would remain? What new practices would have to be added? What would it take to maintain this radical transformation?

Pleasant Activity Scheduling

“I have calmed and quieted myself...” (Psalm 131:2 NLT)

Behavioral therapists recommend scheduling a few pleasant activities daily to improve our mental health. When we are feeling low, many of us don’t have the energy to get out of the pit. This can make the situation worse. Scheduling recovery on a regular basis can prevent us from spiraling into darkness. The simpler these activities are, the more likely we are to do them frequently.

What is comforting to one person might be stressful to another. Thus, the first step is to figure out what each of us finds pleasant. Perhaps you find shopping, baking, cleaning, eating, walking, running, dancing, playing a musical instrument, online surfing, riding horses, socializing, etc. to be relaxing. Personally, I find it deeply satisfying to go into my bedroom, shut the door, draw the curtains, sit up in my bed, close my eyes, and contemplate. I enjoy quiet and privacy. Sometimes I feel guilty about taking this time for myself--even though I know it is deeply therapeutic. It is difficult for me to admit when I am drained and need some alone time. Planning ahead makes things easier. I use my prior experiences to predict how I may feel. For example, I know not to schedule anything that requires physical or mental energy after a long run, a trip, or overnight visits from guests. I schedule quiet times after exhausting events and social activities once I am recovered. Calm and quiet rejuvenate my soul.