Giving and Receiving

“Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet.” (John 13:14 NIV)

While others may find pedicures, manicures, massages, and haircuts relaxing, I find these procedures uncomfortable. I don’t like to be touched by strangers, and by strangers, I mean anyone other than my closest family and friends. For many years, I never admitted this weird aversion to anyone, not even to myself. I just kept avoiding or putting off all appointments that required people getting physically close to me. One of my close friends must have figured this out, because she suggested that I let her do my hair. Even though I was comfortable around her, it was difficult for me to accept her kindness. I didn’t want to rely on her or take advantage of our friendship. After several days of repeated offers, I relented. She colored, washed, and dried my hair tenderly while we talked transparently about whatever happened to be on our minds. It felt therapeutic and relaxing.

Jesus taught us to wash each others’ feet--to minister to each other with humility and love. Serving others is complicated; it takes selflessness on the part of the giver and a suspension of self-consciousness on the part of the recipient. I had to humble myself to accept help from a friend, admit that I was lacking, and place myself in a position of vulnerability. I had to yield my sense of self-sufficiency. My friend had to give up her time and energy to minister to me. She had to push gently at my resistance. All of this took a great deal of persistence and grace on her part. Giving makes us feel noble, while receiving makes us feel humble. Thus, both require repeated practice.