Shame vs. Guilt

I recently read a fascinating article on the difference between shame-based and guilt-based cultures. It prompted me to dig deeper into this subject. Most of what follows is a synopsis of what I learned from my research mixed with my personal experiences of being a part of both cultures.

“According to cultural anthropologist Ruth Benedict, shame is a violation of cultural or social values while guilt feelings arise from violations of one's internal values. Thus shame arises when one's 'defects' are exposed to others, and results from the negative evaluation (whether real or imagined) of others; guilt, on the other hand, comes from one's own negative evaluation of oneself, for instance, when one acts contrary to one's values or idea of one's self.” (http://psych.stanford.edu/~tsailab/PDF/yw07sce.pdf)

Shame-based cultures tend to be collectivistic rather than individualistic. In a shame-based culture, if your brother is in jail for a crime—and even if you had no part in it—you still feel ashamed. The primary motivator in most decisions is ‘how things will appear to others.’ Individuals are encouraged to conform to a group standard. Societies that place a high value on family honor and how individual actions affect group identity fall into this category.

In guilt-based cultures, individuals tend to base their decisions more on internal standards rather than on societal values. The primary motivation for most choices might be: “Is this right or wrong?”

Morality is heavily influenced by your culture of origin. So, every individual will, at some point or another, be motivated by both shame and guilt. Yet, evaluating your choices, based on cultural patterns, might clarify your motives and thus prove enlightening.