What If...?

“I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.” (Isaiah 46:4 NIV)

I am shackled by fear. I have trouble trusting people. I have major abandonment issues. I have had these hang-ups for a long time. As a child, I didn’t feel like I could depend on the adults in my life. I learned to rely on myself. If I wasn’t in complete control of a situation, I would start feeling anxious. Even now, I torture myself with ‘What if’ questions: What if I have a flat tire? What if my son doesn’t finish college? What if my husband gets sick?

Fear comes from making plans without taking God into account. It stems from trying to figure out how I am going to handle a situation independent of God. I lack trust--not in God’s power or ability--but that He is dependable and caring enough to make time for me, that He will be available, that He will not abandon me.

These days, when my mind conjures up fearful scenarios, I use my active imagination to picture God in the situation. What if such and such happens? I wonder how God is going to handle it?  I remind myself that God has always been with me and will continue to be there in the future. He has carried me thus far. He has rescued me. He will continue to sustain me and my loved ones.

“Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you." (Deuteronomy 31:8 NLT)