Why Change?

“Does this sound as if I am trying to win human approval? No indeed! What I want is God's approval!” (Galatians 1:10 GNT)

Before I attempt to change the way I do things, I always sit with the following questions: Why change? What is my motivation? How will this impact other parts of my life? Is the cost in time, energy, or stress worth the impact? Am I willing to pay the cost? 

Change is difficult. Unless the reasons behind my desire to change are worked out ahead of time, I often give up as soon as things get uncomfortable. Whether it is cosmetic adjustments to my hair to make myself appear youthful or behavior modifications in the way I consume media or food, I have to consider my core motivations. Many of my default habits are based on what has worked reasonably well in the past. They are pleasurable in some way. Either they feel good physically, or they gain approval from those around me. On the other hand, countercultural choices invite pushback. It makes others uncomfortable. The social cost can be high. Even small changes can have wide implications on how you fit in with those around you.  

Why change? What is my motivation? I want to be an authentic person. I want to mature thoughtfully. I want to expend more energy on my interior than on my exterior. I want to be better than I used to be--stronger, braver, sturdier. I want to be more resilient, more steadfast in my convictions. Most of all, I want to be less addicted to human approval and more dependent on God’s approval. 

(Continued in next post) 

Undistracted Living

“I’m saying this for your benefit, not to restrict you. I’m showing you how to live a noble life of devotion to the Lord without being distracted by other things.” (1 Corinthians 7:35 GWT)

Obstacle course racing is much more difficult than pure running. It takes much more concentration and grit to plow through the barriers. Each obstacle requires a different approach. Every time an athlete pushes through a challenge, it is a small victory. 

Distractions are hurdles on the noble path. 

Every day is an obstacle course of distractions for me. Phone notifications, media, food, background noise, intrusive thoughts--the hurdles keep coming one after another. Trying to stay focused on any one task is tiring. It’s almost as if I have lost the ability to concentrate for any length of time. I am attempting to retrain my concentration. I may not be able to avoid all distractions, but I am learning to manage them one at a time. I approach each of these obstacles strategically. I notice the cues that trigger my inattention and how I reward myself with diversions. I try to push through the temptation...or at least delay gratification. I silently celebrate each small victory.  Every time I overcome distractions, I move one step forward on the noble path. 

 

Seeking Depth

“Don’t live carelessly, unthinkingly.” (Ephesians 5:17a MSG)

Back when airlines included check-in luggage as part of the fare, I used to pack multiple suitcases when going on trips. I stuffed everything I could think of into my baggage: multiple outfits, shoes, accessories, curling irons, cosmetics, etc. I wasn’t sure if I would need all of these things, but I liked having lots of options. If my luggage got misplaced by the airlines, if it didn’t arrive with me when I got to my destination--that would be enough to ruin my vacation. 

During the first few months of the pandemic, many aspects of my lifestyle were put on indefinite hold. My daily routines, social gatherings, vacations, running races, all were canceled with no end in sight. It felt like I had suddenly arrived at a new, unfamiliar place with no luggage. I was sad, mad, bored, irritated, and restless. With all of the diversions and shallow busyness shuttered, I had to make do with minimal options. The limitations imposed by quarantine forced me to examine decades of choices and habits: 

What did I want? 

What is truly fulfilling? 

What mattered? 

Was I expending energy wisely?

As I started paying more attention, I realized that there were hidden costs to living unthinkingly. I had spent decades following standards without questioning them. Here was an opportunity to start fresh, to leave the shallows of conformity and live deeply. I challenged my previous beliefs. I asked myself the following question about every habit: Is this helping me to become the person I want to be? I was shocked at how addicted I was to entertainment. I craved instant gratification and numbness. It took months to wean myself off of careless living. When the rest of the world decided it was ready to resume the old normal, I held myself back voluntarily. Like a newly sober addict, I opted out. I immersed myself into the depth. I am not going back to the shallows.

 

Living in the Shallows

“How long will you wander around, you unfaithful people?” (Jeremiah 31:22 VOICE)

Before the pandemic, my favorite place to eat was a local Chinese buffet restaurant. I would flit through the sections picking up a bit of this and that until my plate was full. After I finished my first plate, I would go back for more. I rarely thought about what I was eating or how much I was consuming. Thinking too deeply would ruin the fun. A few hours later, I would regret my choices. Bloated, parched, and tired from mindless excess, I would tell myself I would be more careful next time. But the memory would fade, and I would go back to the same bad habits. 

Before the pandemic, I did a lot of things unthinkingly, carelessly. My thoughts and actions were adapted from the culture around me. I just did things without examining my motives, priorities, or purpose. Thinking too deeply would ruin the fun. Even when I was aware of the impact of my behavior, I rarely thought beyond my comfort. Bloated, dissatisfied, and exhausted from mindless excess, I would tell myself I would change. Yet, after decades of being swept along by the ways of the world, shallow living became my default setting. 

(Continued in next post)

Abandonment

“Take a look around and see—to the right, to the left—no one is there who cares for me. There’s no way out of here; no one cares about the state of my soul.” (Psalm 142:4 VOICE)

I know all the dogs in our neighborhood circle. When I see a strange dog running loose, I try to figure out if it is lost or abandoned. Most of the time, the dogs have just wandered away from adjoining neighborhoods. However, there are times when someone will dump an unwanted pet and drive away. 

How can you tell if a dog is lost or abandoned? A dog that is recently lost seems trusting and secure. It might be dirty from being outside, but you can tell this is just temporary. An abandoned dog looks forlorn and insecure. It has usually been neglected for a while. The damage is usually deeper than superficial dirt.

Unlike dogs, most human adults are able to care for themselves. The cosmetics and fashion industries have convinced consumers that self-care is about maintaining external appearances. This is a facade. True self-care is more than skin-deep; it is soul-deep. When I meet strangers, I look for signs of internal care, not external appearance. I try to figure out the state of their soul. I am deeply saddened when I encounter those who have abandoned themselves.

What does self-abandonment look like? Here are a few signs:

--not showing up for yourself

--not committed to yourself

--being disloyal and dishonest 

--leaving yourself unprotected

--accepting lies and allowing yourself to be manipulated

--not trusting your instincts

--not honoring who you are

--imagining that your worth is based on externals

Even if no one else notices or values you, do not abandon yourself. Show up, stand up, and speak up for yourself. Stay committed to your well-being. Be loyal and honest at all times. Protect and honor your inner being. Nourish and care for your soul. Constantly remind yourself that you are worthy and loved by God. Be secure in this knowing. 

Developing Endurance

“For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.” (James 1:3-4 NLT)

In my opinion, there are three types of runners: the non-runners who think voluntary exertion is bizarre, the fair-weather runners who will run under ideal conditions, and finally, the endurance runners who will show up and push themselves no matter what. 

Endurance is defined as the ability or strength to continue or last, especially despite fatigue, stress, or other adverse conditions. Endurance athletes are accustomed to stretching their bodies and minds beyond their comfort zones. They keep going for miles and miles, despite pain and exhaustion. They adapt themselves to being outdoors in severe weather conditions. Consistently pushing themselves to do hard things allows them to develop physical endurance and mental resilience. 

The same principle applies to developing enduring faith. All of us experience adversity at some point in life, but how we handle suffering varies. For some, faith is a foreign concept. Then there are those who embrace faith when all is going well or for social support but give up when things get hard. Finally, there are those for whom faith is an integral part of their lives. They see suffering as a training ground to practice faith. 

When conditions are hard and we are in the midst of pain, our trust in God is stretched to the limit. Faith is no longer comfortable or convenient. We are pushed beyond the threshold of our personal power, of all that is within our control, and we have to rely on God completely. This is what develops endurance. When our faith is stretched, our perseverance grows. Enduring trust makes us perfect and complete, needing nothing more. 

 

Purposeful Steps

“You direct me on a path that leads to a beautiful life. As I walk with You, the pleasures are never-ending, and I know true joy and contentment.” (Acts 2:28 VOICE)

On my daily training runs around my neighborhood, I sometimes take short detours to talk with neighbors or check the mailbox. However, during a race I am conscious about every step I take. At aid stations, I pick up the water and keep running. I don’t get distracted by whatever is happening on the sidelines. Every step, however slow, is in the right direction--never backwards, never sideways. 

The way I move through my daily life is more like a training run than a race. I routinely get side-tracked by diversions. My mind strays first; then my body follows. My days are always busy but not always purposeful. Changing this pattern requires concentration and discipline. 

I am practicing taking tiny, purposeful steps in the right direction. In order to be disciplined, I have to consistently review what matters. This reduces the distraction detours. Visualizing God by my side also helps me to stay on track. I turn my mental chatter into a dialogue with the Lord. I tell Him whatever pops up in my head. I confess my attitude problems. I ask questions. I listen for directions. I remind myself of God’s attributes. I praise and thank Him continually. The more I walk with the Lord, the more conscious I become of His presence, the more I experience peace, joy, and contentment.