“Don’t live carelessly, unthinkingly.” (Ephesians 5:17a MSG)
Back when airlines included check-in luggage as part of the fare, I used to pack multiple suitcases when going on trips. I stuffed everything I could think of into my baggage: multiple outfits, shoes, accessories, curling irons, cosmetics, etc. I wasn’t sure if I would need all of these things, but I liked having lots of options. If my luggage got misplaced by the airlines, if it didn’t arrive with me when I got to my destination--that would be enough to ruin my vacation.
During the first few months of the pandemic, many aspects of my lifestyle were put on indefinite hold. My daily routines, social gatherings, vacations, running races, all were canceled with no end in sight. It felt like I had suddenly arrived at a new, unfamiliar place with no luggage. I was sad, mad, bored, irritated, and restless. With all of the diversions and shallow busyness shuttered, I had to make do with minimal options. The limitations imposed by quarantine forced me to examine decades of choices and habits:
What did I want?
What is truly fulfilling?
What mattered?
Was I expending energy wisely?
As I started paying more attention, I realized that there were hidden costs to living unthinkingly. I had spent decades following standards without questioning them. Here was an opportunity to start fresh, to leave the shallows of conformity and live deeply. I challenged my previous beliefs. I asked myself the following question about every habit: Is this helping me to become the person I want to be? I was shocked at how addicted I was to entertainment. I craved instant gratification and numbness. It took months to wean myself off of careless living. When the rest of the world decided it was ready to resume the old normal, I held myself back voluntarily. Like a newly sober addict, I opted out. I immersed myself into the depth. I am not going back to the shallows.
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