This morning I was watering one of my potted plants when I noticed that a few big roots were growing out of the bottom through the plastic pot. As I made a mental note to transplant this plant into a bigger pot, I thought of how many of us outgrow our containers in one way or another.
Sometimes I feel like my faith has outgrown my church. I’ve tried switching churches, but it hasn’t helped. Most churches provide the necessary nurturing environment for limited growth. Yet, because of their institutionalized nature, containment is inevitable. Regulations, legalism, and dogmatism can be restricting. Socializing, funding, building, and various projects suck up too much time and energy. Growth of the organization takes precedence over growth of individual faith. As a result, church sometimes feels like an ornamental pot.
I understand the need to shelter new seedlings indoors. Yet, a part of me wonders if, eventually, it might be beneficial to be transplanted straight into the fertile soil of God. We may have to withstand drought and frost, but our roots could go as deep as needed.
Then our faith could thrive…“like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit.” (Jeremiah 17:7-9 NLT)
streams
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Monday, July 2, 2012
Weaning
Philip Gulley is on my top ten list of favorite authors. He only publishes books every few years, (that lazy bum!) so I have to get my fix from his sermons online. Here is a link to his site:
http://www.philipgulley.org/GRACETALK.
This morning I was reading his sermon on empathy. He talked about how too much empathy can be harmful. “When you’re investing more time, care and passion in someone’s functioning than they are, you might be doing too much.” (Philip Gulley, ‘Empathy’ ~ Grace Talks sermons)
I’ve been thinking about this. If I’m investing more time and care in someone’s functioning than they are, might I be harming them? Guilty! I am an over-functioning parent. Gulley says this leads to under-functioning kids. Guilty! I usually justify my actions by comparing myself to another parent who is even more smothering than I am.
I’ve noticed that sometimes our dog can’t find small bits of food on the floor. After a few seconds of sniffing around, we usually point it out to her with our feet. Dogs have a keen sense of smell. So why my dog needs us to find a cheerio in front of her is mind-boggling! I wonder if we’ve messed up her natural sense of smell by pointing out where to find food.
Over-functioning relationships can also be found between spouses, friends and adult children with their aging parents. My husband’s areas of strength, tend to be my weaknesses. Stepping up in these areas would be strengthening. The more I take care of things for my son, the less motivated he is to figure it out for himself. I could back off a bit and let him fail and learn from his mistakes. I could accept that my aging parents are still capable of taking care of themselves and not try to take over too soon. Weaning these relationships at the appropriate phase is beneficial for everyone involved.
Lord, help me to step up in areas where I’m under-functioning and to step down where I am over-functioning.
http://www.philipgulley.org/GRACETALK.
This morning I was reading his sermon on empathy. He talked about how too much empathy can be harmful. “When you’re investing more time, care and passion in someone’s functioning than they are, you might be doing too much.” (Philip Gulley, ‘Empathy’ ~ Grace Talks sermons)
I’ve been thinking about this. If I’m investing more time and care in someone’s functioning than they are, might I be harming them? Guilty! I am an over-functioning parent. Gulley says this leads to under-functioning kids. Guilty! I usually justify my actions by comparing myself to another parent who is even more smothering than I am.
I’ve noticed that sometimes our dog can’t find small bits of food on the floor. After a few seconds of sniffing around, we usually point it out to her with our feet. Dogs have a keen sense of smell. So why my dog needs us to find a cheerio in front of her is mind-boggling! I wonder if we’ve messed up her natural sense of smell by pointing out where to find food.
Over-functioning relationships can also be found between spouses, friends and adult children with their aging parents. My husband’s areas of strength, tend to be my weaknesses. Stepping up in these areas would be strengthening. The more I take care of things for my son, the less motivated he is to figure it out for himself. I could back off a bit and let him fail and learn from his mistakes. I could accept that my aging parents are still capable of taking care of themselves and not try to take over too soon. Weaning these relationships at the appropriate phase is beneficial for everyone involved.
Lord, help me to step up in areas where I’m under-functioning and to step down where I am over-functioning.
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Destructive Criticism
According to the dictionary, constructive criticism is advice or criticism that is useful and intended to help or improve something.
Most critics will argue that their intentions are to help and improve the situation, but in my experience, criticism is more often destructive than constructive.
Destructive criticism is worse than useless--it is downright harmful. It destroys self-esteem, weakens marriages, and tears apart relationships. Some critical people believe that it makes them feel better to air their grievances about others, even though they can’t change them.
“Our present time is indeed a criticizing and critical time. Our complaints are like arrows shot up into the air at no target: and with no purpose they only fall back upon our own heads and destroy ourselves.” ~William Temple
How many times have you received criticism that compelled you to change? Personal change is rarely induced by the opinion of others, but because of internal convictions. There are a few people who regularly invest in my life and have gained my respect. They are the only ones who have the power to motivate me to change.
Next time you feel the need to offer constructive criticism, ask yourself if this is likely to promote change or just cause more damage.
Most critics will argue that their intentions are to help and improve the situation, but in my experience, criticism is more often destructive than constructive.
Destructive criticism is worse than useless--it is downright harmful. It destroys self-esteem, weakens marriages, and tears apart relationships. Some critical people believe that it makes them feel better to air their grievances about others, even though they can’t change them.
“Our present time is indeed a criticizing and critical time. Our complaints are like arrows shot up into the air at no target: and with no purpose they only fall back upon our own heads and destroy ourselves.” ~William Temple
How many times have you received criticism that compelled you to change? Personal change is rarely induced by the opinion of others, but because of internal convictions. There are a few people who regularly invest in my life and have gained my respect. They are the only ones who have the power to motivate me to change.
Next time you feel the need to offer constructive criticism, ask yourself if this is likely to promote change or just cause more damage.
Friday, June 29, 2012
Managing Destruction
Recently, I saw the movie John Carter. I wouldn’t recommend it. The plot is convoluted. An ex civil war soldier is transported to Mars, where he joins a battle against evil, involving dark angels, various alien creatures, and two opposing human civilizations! The movie had a few memorable lines though. One of the evil angels says: “We do not cause the destruction of a world…We simply manage it. Feed off it, if you like. It is a game we have been playing since the beginning…We will continue to play it long after Earth ends.”
I found this concept interesting. The dark angel goes on to say how civilizations eventually self-destruct by war, over-consumption of resources, or the desire for domination. The powers of evil just have to manage, supervise, and occasionally manipulate, while humans destroy themselves and their surroundings.
This got me thinking… How does evil go about manipulating me into self-destruction?
C.S. Lewis, in his book The Screw Tape Letters, describes the subtle, yet methodical tactics of evil. Impatience grows into annoyance, which comes out as angry and hurtful words. Pride and stubbornness promote self-righteousness and legalism. Self-interest leads to apathy towards others. Gluttony and greed become acceptable. The powers of darkness casually wait on the sidelines. A suggestion here, a tweak of emotion there, and humans can degenerate on their own.
Fortunately, God knew that humans were flawed, and He made a plan to save us from destruction.
“And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires. In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God’s promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone.” (2 Peter 1:4-7 NLT)
I found this concept interesting. The dark angel goes on to say how civilizations eventually self-destruct by war, over-consumption of resources, or the desire for domination. The powers of evil just have to manage, supervise, and occasionally manipulate, while humans destroy themselves and their surroundings.
This got me thinking… How does evil go about manipulating me into self-destruction?
C.S. Lewis, in his book The Screw Tape Letters, describes the subtle, yet methodical tactics of evil. Impatience grows into annoyance, which comes out as angry and hurtful words. Pride and stubbornness promote self-righteousness and legalism. Self-interest leads to apathy towards others. Gluttony and greed become acceptable. The powers of darkness casually wait on the sidelines. A suggestion here, a tweak of emotion there, and humans can degenerate on their own.
Fortunately, God knew that humans were flawed, and He made a plan to save us from destruction.
“And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires. In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God’s promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone.” (2 Peter 1:4-7 NLT)
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Picking Burdens
The other day, I went to my favorite hangout. The Library. I’ve mentioned before that I used to carry a large gym bag on wheels to load up my books. Then I noticed that the librarians started referring to me as the ‘bag lady’. Not to mention, my son was a bit embarrassed to go to the library with me. So I decided to ditch the bag on wheels. This time I was at the library with no book bag, trying to look cool. But, as usual, I couldn’t limit myself to fewer than 20 books. So I just ended up looking like a nerd who forgot her book bag! I almost tripped down the stairs, because I couldn’t see where I was going. I know that I can only read maybe 2 or 3 books in the 3 weeks before these books are due. Yet, I pick up more than I can handle because it all looks interesting. Just because the library allows me to choose as many books as I want, doesn’t mean I should.
I do the same with burdens and worries. I pick up more than I can handle. I know that there are few things that I have power over. I also know that I have limited time and energy. Yet, I pick up worries that might trip me up, and carry these burdens home. They lie around just cluttering up my life.
I need to be more selective in the burdens I pick up. I can only deal with so many at one time. I have to be realistic about my limitations. Just because I have the choice to pick up burdens that are not meant for me, doesn’t mean I should.
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
--Reinhold Niebuhr
I do the same with burdens and worries. I pick up more than I can handle. I know that there are few things that I have power over. I also know that I have limited time and energy. Yet, I pick up worries that might trip me up, and carry these burdens home. They lie around just cluttering up my life.
I need to be more selective in the burdens I pick up. I can only deal with so many at one time. I have to be realistic about my limitations. Just because I have the choice to pick up burdens that are not meant for me, doesn’t mean I should.
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Soul Quakes
I read the word ‘soul quake’ in the article by Willard that I mentioned yesterday. I’d never heard this word before, but instantly loved it.
Here is Willard’s description of a soul quake:
“It is a subtle shifting of vision, of feeling and will—of how people see things and feel about things, especially about themselves and what they are doing. The shifts in belief and the conscious decisions are only the epicenter of the ‘soul quake.’ They lie at the surface of life. The center lies miles deep in the soul of the individuals involved.” (Excerpt from “Living in the Vision of God” by Dallas Willard)
Have you ever experienced such a soul quake? A shift in the tectonic plates deep within you that changes the surface landscape of your life? I have. I’ve had quakes that led to devastating tsunamis that washed away everything. I also have small-scale daily quakes, so subtle that I hardly notice them anymore. I am no longer the person I was 30 years ago. Each soul quake shifts my perspective, my attitude, my decisions, and subsequently the topography of my life.
“When the earth quakes and its people live in turmoil, I am the one who keeps its foundations firm.” (Psalm 75:3 NLT)
God is aware of every situation that shakes our core. He notices every rift and every crack. Our Lord keeps us steady, prevents us from caving into ourselves. God keeps us firm and stable, even through the soul quakes.
Here is Willard’s description of a soul quake:
“It is a subtle shifting of vision, of feeling and will—of how people see things and feel about things, especially about themselves and what they are doing. The shifts in belief and the conscious decisions are only the epicenter of the ‘soul quake.’ They lie at the surface of life. The center lies miles deep in the soul of the individuals involved.” (Excerpt from “Living in the Vision of God” by Dallas Willard)
Have you ever experienced such a soul quake? A shift in the tectonic plates deep within you that changes the surface landscape of your life? I have. I’ve had quakes that led to devastating tsunamis that washed away everything. I also have small-scale daily quakes, so subtle that I hardly notice them anymore. I am no longer the person I was 30 years ago. Each soul quake shifts my perspective, my attitude, my decisions, and subsequently the topography of my life.
“When the earth quakes and its people live in turmoil, I am the one who keeps its foundations firm.” (Psalm 75:3 NLT)
God is aware of every situation that shakes our core. He notices every rift and every crack. Our Lord keeps us steady, prevents us from caving into ourselves. God keeps us firm and stable, even through the soul quakes.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Vision vs. Mission
I recently read a very good article by Dallas Willard titled “Living in the Vision of God”. Here is a link to the article:
http://www.dwillard.org/articles/artview.asp?artid=96
It’s a long article, and I had to read it several times to digest it. Willard talks about how a godly person might have a vision and found a movement. Others are attracted to this person’s fire or charisma and become followers. But somewhere along the line the mission takes over the original vision, and what starts off as passion, fire, and love for Christ ends up becoming a building project.
Building projects can be typical brick and mortar structures. They can also be just concepts of expansion. For example, an individual may be on fire to love and serve God. Her passion attracts others. The group is on a mission to spread Christ’s love. The logistics of where, when, how, finances, scheduling, and flyers overshadow the original vision. Expansion, growth, goals, success, numbers, etc. become the focus. The vision becomes blurry, while the mission becomes the driving force.
Willard has some suggestions for postponing this inevitable drift from the original vision. If God is our first love, we will have a natural inclination to muse upon God all the time. Continual meditation on God leads us to the realization of our own inadequacy in contrast to God’s all-sufficiency. Humility in our abilities leads to dependence on God. What follows is a boldness in our hearts that is based on confidence in God’s capacity. This juxtaposition of humility and boldness keeps us from taking over God’s vision.
http://www.dwillard.org/articles/artview.asp?artid=96
It’s a long article, and I had to read it several times to digest it. Willard talks about how a godly person might have a vision and found a movement. Others are attracted to this person’s fire or charisma and become followers. But somewhere along the line the mission takes over the original vision, and what starts off as passion, fire, and love for Christ ends up becoming a building project.
Building projects can be typical brick and mortar structures. They can also be just concepts of expansion. For example, an individual may be on fire to love and serve God. Her passion attracts others. The group is on a mission to spread Christ’s love. The logistics of where, when, how, finances, scheduling, and flyers overshadow the original vision. Expansion, growth, goals, success, numbers, etc. become the focus. The vision becomes blurry, while the mission becomes the driving force.
Willard has some suggestions for postponing this inevitable drift from the original vision. If God is our first love, we will have a natural inclination to muse upon God all the time. Continual meditation on God leads us to the realization of our own inadequacy in contrast to God’s all-sufficiency. Humility in our abilities leads to dependence on God. What follows is a boldness in our hearts that is based on confidence in God’s capacity. This juxtaposition of humility and boldness keeps us from taking over God’s vision.
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