Noticing the Needs of Others

“For when you saw me hungry, you fed me. When you found me thirsty, you gave me something to drink.” (Matthew 25:35 TPT)

How does one know whether someone else is hungry or thirsty? I can’t even tell the difference between hunger and thirst in my own body. I often eat when I am dehydrated and drink when I am undernourished. 

It’s hard enough for us to identify our own needs and articulate them. It’s even more of a challenge to notice the needs of those around us. How often is a person willing to admit that he is hungry, thirsty, lonely, or helpless? Neediness is seen as weakness that must be overcome--preferably independently and privately so as not to make others uncomfortable. We learn to suffer alone and allow others to do so as well. 

It’s difficult to rescue a drowning victim when she is pretending to be fine. It is also important to be looking in the right direction consistently for a lifeguard to notice a person who is drowning. It takes courage to express vulnerability. When we share our emotions, others are more open to do the same. Most people are unable to clearly state exactly what they need. This makes it harder to know how to support them. Self-awareness and honest communication are vital. Attentiveness and solidarity are also essential. 

Identify Your Need

“Be direct. Ask for what you need.” (Matthew 7:7 MSG)

I have difficulty identifying and articulating my needs. I rarely ask for what I want--it feels selfish and needy. Instead, I like to pretend that I am completely self-sufficient. I want to be the helper, not the one in need of help. 

Other than the basic survival essentials that are common to all human beings, I am not sure what I need or want. I know some things bring me comfort while other things make me feel agitated. I wish for more of the former and less of the latter. Yet, I recognize that this is not the same as a need. Over the years, I have discovered some core necessities: meaning, purpose, truth, sincerity, authentic expression, respect, security, stability, reliability, and loyalty are a few of them.  

Identifying our personal needs is the first step. Articulating those needs requires us to be vulnerable. Asking anything for ourselves feels selfish and demanding. In order to mitigate our mortification, we drop indirect hints and hope others figure out what we want. We extend this practice into our communication with God. We pray for others but rarely for ourselves. Learning to be direct and asking for our needs is essential to having a true relationship. 

Lord, please help me clarify my needs. I ask for meaning, purpose, security, stability, and reliability. I seek sincerity, loyalty, and authentic expression in all my relationships. I shall insistently knock on Your door until you meet my needs. 

 

There is More

 

 “We don’t focus our attention on what is seen but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but the unseen realm is eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:18 TPT)

The Earth’s crust is the thin, outer layer on which we live. It accounts for less than 1% of the thickness of our planet. The interior of the Earth is very deep. Much of what we know about geology is limited to the parts that are accessible to humans. Our current information about the density of our planet comes from studying earthquakes, surface minerals, gravity, magnetic fields, and the flow of heat from inside the Earth. Humans are naturally more curious about the visible, even when it can only be seen through telescopes. Thus, we are eager to learn more about stars and galaxies light years away. We rarely think about the unknown parts at the core of our existence. 

Similarly, we spend most of our waking hours focusing on the visible world around us. We work, play, eat, drink, buy, sell, amass, and amuse ourselves. The cycle of production and consumption enslaves us. We seek affirmation of our worth from the community by following prescribed rules of behavior and comparing ourselves with others. We cannot imagine that there could be more to life than these tangible comforts. 

The Kingdom of God is much thicker than what is visible and tangible. There is more to life than the highs and lows of human experience. Heaven is not ‘out there’ beyond the stars. God dwells deep within the core of existence. It is good to focus our attention on the unseeable realms. We may never comprehend more than a miniscule part of all there is to know about God. Yet, it is good to acknowledge the depth and width and volume and density of the Almighty. 

 

Praying with Confidence

"We live in the bold confidence that God hears our voices when we ask for things that fit His plan." (1 John 5:14 VOICE) 

The above verse is a bit difficult for me to digest. If our prayers are not answered--is it because we did not ask with bold confidence? Or is it because they did not fit God’s plan? 

Several years ago, a good friend was diagnosed with cancer. She was much loved by everyone that knew her. We all prayed vigilantly for her healing. Although she received good medical care and spiritual ministry, she died within a few years. Currently, I have another friend who is terminally ill. His faith is an example to many. There is a dedicated group of people praying for him. My prayers for him are neither bold nor confident. They are submissive. I bring my concerns to the Lord. I lay them down. I pray: Thy will be done. 

Prayer is not meant to influence God to change His plan, but to align our minds to His will. Dearly-held beliefs may be dislocated; precious plans may be knocked down.  This process of melting and molding can be painfully wrenching. The powerlessness of surrender is hard to accept. 

Sometimes when I can’t comprehend a concept, I rearrange it in my head to see if I can gain some perspective. Like jigsaw puzzle pieces, I rotate and move them around until I suddenly see how things fit into the larger picture. Repositioning and paraphrasing the words in 1 John 5:14 helped me understand this verse better: It takes bold confidence to submit our concerns completely into God’s care. This is not self-confidence, but trust that stems from an intimate connection with God.  When we commit to God’s will, we start asking for things that fit His plan. And then, since we are aligned with God’s purpose, we can live with assurance that God hears our voice.

The Mystery of Peace

“You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!” (Isaiah 26:3 NLT)

Like most young animals, my puppy is full of energy. He zooms around, jumps up and down, and is easily distractible. I am in the process of training our puppy to ‘settle’ down in my presence. Every morning, I have him sit on his bed for ten minutes. I will keep feeding him food every few minutes as an incentive. He has learned to remain still on his bed and watch my movements. Even if I leave the room, he knows it is just a matter of time before I come back and give him a treat. The rewards are part of the training, but the end purpose is to teach him calming behavior. I imagine the dog thinks of this as a transactional arrangement. He does what I want, and he gets what he wants. In reality, the whole exercise is meant for the dog’s benefit. 

Most mornings, I try to settle down in God’s presence. This quiet time is set aside for prayer, study, and contemplation. I often get insights that I use in my writing. By consecrating my time and attention, I may be doing God’s will, but it benefits me more than Him. The rewards are part of the training but not the end purpose. I am learning calm and trust.  As I fix my thoughts on God, I begin to understand the mystery of perfect peace. 

Odds and Ends

“Now go back and gather up the pieces left over so that nothing will be wasted.” (John 6:12 TPT)

Every few months, I will go through my house and get rid of stuff I don’t need. I set up two bags--one for donations and another for trash. I go from room to room, vigorously throwing things into bags: extra comforters, sheets, frisbees, clothes, decorative items, leftover yarn, craft supplies, old shower curtains, shoes, coats, pots, pans, water bottles, etc. If I spend too much time thinking about it, I won’t let go. Once I finish this cleaning purge, I feel better. However, there is an unfortunate side-effect to this process. There have been times that I needed an extra comforter or a frisbee or some leftover yarn. Just because I can’t think of a use for something at one moment does not mean it might not come in handy later.

I have had my share of experiences that seemed to have no particular significance at the time: strained relationships, broken promises, major mistakes, minor disappointments, stupid dead ends. I am eager to discard even the memories of these scraps of life. Yet, these odds and ends have value. I have learned to go back and gather up the leftover pieces, even when I don’t know what to do with them. The crumbs and crusts might come in handy someday.  Every experience, good or bad, important or silly, may be significant even though we cannot recognize it at the time. 

 

Fragmented Faith

“May you never reject me! May you never take from me your sacred Spirit!” (Psalm 51:11 TPT)

I started this blog on January 1st, 2012. For the last nine years, I have been sharing my thoughts through this medium. Even though sorting through my disordered thoughts in public has been uncomfortable, I have continued the practice for several reasons. Writing out my thoughts helps me process. Consistently posting my ruminations keeps me disciplined. I am not sure if my writing has improved over the years, but the nooks and corners of my mind have fewer cobwebs. 

My attempts at making sense of the intricacies of life are often messy. I am unable to come up with neat solutions to complex problems in a few paragraphs. I often feel like I am trying to put a pretty bow on a package, but my ribbon is too short. My fragments of faith are insufficient to wrap around the immensity of understanding God. Yet, I gather up the bits and pieces--a musing here, an insight there. I put my sloppily wrapped presents out there. I share my vulnerability in the hopes of helping someone else out there. 

Lord, bridge the gap in my fragmented faith. Help me to grow in wisdom and understanding. I am grateful for Your continual supply of teaching. If and when You want me to stop this project, let me know clearly. Keep me secure in Your presence. May you never reject me! May you never take from me your sacred Spirit!