What to Expect

When I was pregnant, I was a big fan of the book, What to Expect When You are Expecting. I loved this book so much that I went ahead and bought the sequels--What to Expect the First Year and What to Expect the Second Year. I’ve often wished they made one for every year. I could see myself walking around with a dog-eared copy of What to Expect the 17^th Year!

I like to be prepared. I want to know ahead of time all the possible scenarios and have a plan on how I should deal with them. Unfortunately, I’m not even sure what to expect today! There are so many pleasant surprises as well as shocking disappointments each day. I’m always in a state of wonder.

“This is God’s Work. We rub our eyes--we can hardly believe it!
This is the very day GOD acted--let’s celebrate and be festive!”
(Psalm. 118:23-24 MSG)

I may not know what to expect, but I do know WHOM to expect! I place my expectation and trust in God. Every day, I can point to something and say, “This is God’s Work!”. I rub my eyes in disbelief at how He works things out.

Sometimes we are the project that God works on. Other times we are the equipment or tool that God uses to work on others. Either way, His hands are on us. His attention is on us.

Now, I could write a book on What to Expect When You are Expecting God. God’s Spirit grows within us, enlarging us, changing us from the inside out. Our perspective shifts. Our ego diminishes. We become more compassionate. We approach every day with a sense of wonder. We recognize God’s movements and it fills us with joy.

 

Concern vs. Trust

The following lines from my daily devotional caught my attention:
“Have we come to the point where God can withdraw His blessings from us without our trust in Him being affected? Once we truly see God at work, we will never be concerned again about the things that happen, because we are actually trusting in our Father in Heaven, whom the world cannot see.” (from My Utmost for His Highest, by Oswald Chambers)

I have not reached the point of unconditional trust. I’m concerned about every detail of my life. I worry about my family and friends. I’m anxious about global issues. If God were to take away my blessings, my trust would weaken. I’ve experienced this before. A few things go wrong, and my faith wavers.

How do I release my concerns and cling to Jesus with unconditional trust?
At first, I tried saying: ‘I will trust the Lord to take care of this situation’. Then I realized that I was still placing conditions on my trust. I would surrender as long as I had a guarantee of blessings.

I found it difficult to release my big worries. The more attached I was to the outcome, the harder it was to completely surrender and trust God. I realized this was beyond my power. I asked the Holy Spirit to help me.

I practiced with small concerns. I said:
I will not be concerned about ____________, because I trust in You, Lord. 
I felt better. I tried repeating the line with another concern…and another. Saying it doesn’t mean I’ve actually released these concerns forever… but it was a start.

With the power of the Holy Spirit running through me, someday I will reach this place of unconditional trust. I look forward to that day when I will want God for Himself and not for His blessings.

Fuzzy Eyes

Last time I went to a football game, I noticed that the majority of the crowd had fuzzy eyes. This is my term for that slightly drunken look people have, when their eyes don’t seem completely focused. It feels surreal to be one of the few sober people walking among a semi-conscious crowd. I’m saddened when I see people tripping and falling down the bleachers. I’m burdened knowing that these people will be driving home. Since I’m a mom of a young adult, I get depressed watching the college students, as they make poor choices that will lead to harmful repercussions. Paradoxically, fuzzy-eyed people seem to be having fun, while those who see clearly are sad.

This world is full of semi-conscious individuals. We walk around in a daze, unaware, oblivious, fuzzy-eyed. We want to have a good time, be entertained, spend our days in shallow, superficial pursuits. Occasionally, during moments of enlightenment, we see how messed up this world is. We realize how screwed up our priorities are. Sobriety is uncomfortable. We go back to the soft-focus, blurry, semi-conscious life. Follow the fuzzy-eyed masses in a state of stupor into oblivion.

God-Centered

I don’t think of myself as a ‘religious’ person, perhaps because I associate religion with institutionalized church. I tend to disagree with much of the church dogma. Most people who hang out with me know that I’m more worldly than spiritual. My writing reflects my idealistic intentions, not necessarily my day-to-day habits.

I try to live a God-centered life. What else is worth centering my life on?

Most of us don’t think much about what our lives revolve around…our egos, public displays of our greatness (jobs, houses, wealth, ambition), or relationships (which validate our human need for affection). Occasionally, I meet someone who claims that their life revolves around nothing. They tend to orbit around a black hole of hopelessness and cynicism.

Faced with these options, I attempt to live a God-centered life. I continually want to move forward in the direction of my desire and will, yet God’s gravity pulls me in. If this makes me look like a religious fanatic, so be it.

Pay Attention!

My family has a habit of debating current issues at the dining table. The other day we were talking about the U.S. educational system. We all agreed that there is room for improvement, but had differing opinions on what those improvements should be. We all agreed that a larger proportion of the current funding should go to paying teachers, and less should go into athletics. We also agreed that, as a nation, we need to spend less on entertainment and professional sports while diverting some of that money into education. We also felt that it would be good to have higher standards and regular certification exams for both students as well as teachers. However, I think that all these fixes won’t amount to much, unless the students themselves are intrinsically motivated to learn. Even the most knowledgeable, caring, talented teachers can’t be effective, if the students aren’t paying attention.

We have ample opportunities to learn from our experiences. God lays out His lesson plan daily. Here is an example of something He taught me recently:

“First pride, then the crash—
the bigger the ego, the harder the fall.” (Prov. 16:18 MSG)

These days we are encouraged to be proud of ourselves, our family, our school, our country, our race, and our faith. I’ve been drifting along on this cultural wave, without paying much attention to the above lesson on pride. Recently, I’ve noticed that confidence in our abilities has morphed into hubris. I can see it being passed on in my family from one generation to another. Our egos are getting us into trouble. We are falling into gutters of bossiness and condescension.

I’ve been exposed to this lesson on pride many, many times. Somehow, I’ve always assumed it wasn’t relevant to me. This time, I’m focusing. I hope I retain this material and make changes.

Life presents us with practical applications of universal truths. Yet even the best educational system and the Greatest Teacher can only be effective, if we pay attention.

Name of God

“I’ll pray in the name of God.” (Ps. 116:13, 17 MSG)

This phrase, “Name of God”, has been popping up around me the last few days. I’m paying attention…

Dallas Willard has a very nice article on this subject. If you would like to read it, here is the link: http://www.dwillard.org/articles/artview.asp?artID=166

Willard says that when you ask, or act, or speak in God’s name, you are doing so on behalf of God. When we pray in the name of the Lord, we are asking with assurance, with expectation.

Our family has medical insurance through my husband’s job. Although we are all covered, the policy is under his name. So I have to always mention his name and my relationship to him when I go to any medical appointments. They also confirm my address. I think it’s to make sure I’m not separated from my husband.

Similarly, whatever I do in the name of the Lord is covered under His authority. As long as I reside with God, as long as I share His name, I’m assured of certain benefits. However, claiming to know God comes with certain responsibilities as well.

Recently, I read something that Michelle Obama said about her teenage daughters. She reminds them that just as they benefit from their father’s name, there are also responsibilities that come with it. They can’t just post whatever they feel on Facebook, or anywhere online, because they represent their father. Every word they say or write, every picture someone posts of them, every outfit they wear, every friend they have, every action will be scrutinized and held up to a higher standard.

One of the Ten Commandments bans us from using God’s name in vain. When we claim God as our Father, we must be careful not to tarnish His name. Our responsibility to represent God compels us to hold ourselves up to the highest standards. May we live, pray, speak, and act in ways befitting the Name of the Lord.

The Joy of Self-Expression

I delight in every opportunity to express myself, whether it is through speaking, writing, dressing in bright colors, painting, singing, dancing, decorating my home, photography, cooking…

Now, I am better at some of these things than I am at others. I admire those who can write a song or paint a landscape. I have vague ideas for songs and visions of beautiful landscapes swirling in my imagination. Yet, when I try to express them, what comes out is nothing similar to what’s in my head. So I make do by singing along with songs written by others, especially when the lyrics and melody are similar to what I wanted to express, but couldn’t.

Most people think of these as creative pursuits. I don’t know if I’m necessarily creating anything, but just expressing what is inside. I think that God creates and we are meant to be products of God’s self-expression. We are His painting, His song, His book, His dance…

Unfortunately, we put our own twist, our own interpretation on God’s original work. This is the difference between unadulterated nature and things that are man-made. Look at God’s glorious creation and expression in nature. It’s beyond perfect. But then we attempt to “make it our own”, and what results is a diminished version of the original.

I wonder how I can be merely a conduit for God’s expression, without messing it up with my own interpretation.