Tone it Down

I like to cook with the chili peppers that I grow in my vegetable garden. I try to add one pepper into most every savory dish. I’ve noticed that it is difficult to predict the spiciness of each pepper pod, even when they are from the same plant. Depending on the amount of rain and temperatures over the last week, each pepper that I pick off the plant varies in heat. I don’t taste the raw peppers before I add them to what I am cooking, so sometimes my meals turn out to be spicier than I anticipate. I think most every dish tastes better with chili peppers. However, not everyone agrees with me. Some people are of the opinion that the spiciness can overwhelm the subtle flavors of a dish.

My personality is a lot like a chili pepper—bold, spicy, and zingy. I have always been loud. My voice carries. I am expressive in the way I dress, the way I speak, write, gesticulate, or contort my facial muscles. Over the years, I have learned to tone down my personality. This has not been easy. I would rather be my natural self and operate from my default settings. Yet, I have found that holding back a bit is often beneficial for many reasons. For one thing, it enables me to be less offensive and shocking to sensitive individuals. It also allows others to express their subtle flavors, texture, and richness. Toning back a bit also allows me to listen and observe, acknowledge and empathize, to draw out the essence of others.

Sometimes my boldness can overwhelm milder personalities. Their expressions may be subtle, yet their input is valuable. Their strengths may be different, yet significant. Thus, I am learning to calibrate my spiciness, to tone myself down—so that other textures can be appreciated, so that other flavors can be experienced, so that other voices can be heard.