Self-Care

In chapter 27 of the Book of Acts, Paul describes being stuck on a ship in the midst of a storm. During this crisis, everyone on the ship is so occupied with just staying afloat that they even neglect eating. After a few weeks of this, Paul admonishes the crew:

“None of us has felt like eating! But I urge you to eat something now. You’ll need strength for the rescue ahead.” (Acts 27:33-34 MSG)

Like the sailors on this ship, I often neglect basic self-care because I’m too busy keeping things afloat.

Self-Care has always been difficult for me. It feels selfish and indulgent. The more stressed-out and haggard I feel, the less I take care of myself. This is obviously a dumb move, but I’ve been doing it for so long that it feels natural. Plus, I have to admit that I get some satisfaction out of depriving myself, because it solidifies my feelings of martyrdom. Another reason that I neglect self-care is because I get a great deal of joy from taking care of others. Buying my son or husband something makes me feel happier than buying something for myself. Making a meal for a friend, filling the birdfeeders, even brushing my dog—bring me more satisfaction than brushing my own hair or feeding myself.

Let’s say my family has one reliable car that is used by all members—to get to work, school, grocery store, appointments—anything that requires transportation. If I neglect to put fuel in that car, ignore warning lights, or postpone routine maintenance, eventually my entire family will suffer.

I know that neglecting self-care is harmful in the long run. Yet, when there is so much to do, so many things to take care of, and so many people depending on me, I feel like I have no other choice. But, this is not true. I have a choice, and I’m choosing to neglect my physical, mental, and emotional health in order to feed my unhealthy martyr complex. 

In order to change this harmful habit, I have lately resorted to a point system for self-care. I give myself a point every time I do something that nurtures my soul, mind, or body. I give myself half a point for things I do for others that make me feel good too. This measurable, daily self-care encourages me to attend to parts of my life that have been undernourished for far too long.