A Clear Voice

“If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.” (James 1:5 NLT)

I am not one to keep my opinions to myself. Yet, I often feel unheard or ignored. Am I not speaking clearly, assertively? I used to blame others for not listening, but I’m beginning to think I am contributing to this problem. I am recognizing certain patterns in my behavior. I state my opinions, desires, beliefs. If there is any resistance, especially from people I love, I back off; I defer; I yield.

Why?

1. I don’t want to face the discomfort of disapproval; thus, I cave in when others push back.
2. Yielding makes me feel feminine, kind, magnanimous. I’ve internalized the message that being unyielding is selfish, bitchy, hard, and cold.
3. I am not clear about my own values, choices, and priorities. I’m not sure where my responsibilities end and where the other person’s start. I send out mixed messages. This makes for fuzzy boundary lines.
4. Since I’m not clear about my boundaries, I don’t defend them firmly. I really don’t have a plan on how far I will go, or how far I will allow others to influence my life. I don’t prepare myself for the inevitable resistance I will face when I stand up for my beliefs.

Lord, grant me the clarity, wisdom, courage, and strength to find my voice, speak clearly, and not be shushed.