Prioritizing

“Don’t do everything – just do what matters most.” (J.R. Briggs)

Every day I wake up and make a list of all the things I want to do. I usually accomplish only 80% of these things. Which means the next day’s list is even bigger. By the end of the week, I’m overwhelmed and discouraged.

What if I were more selective? What if I only planned to do what mattered most? What if as soon as I made my list, I prioritized my tasks and deleted the 20% that was not essential. My to-do list would actually become doable!

If cleaning our house and cooking a healthy meal help our family feel cared for, then they need to be a priority. A cluttered, disorganized house agitates me, so I need some time daily to bring order to my home. Yet if these tasks are done merely due to societal expectations, then they just become a time drain. Unproductive, toxic relationships can dwindle our energy. Email enables me to communicate with people at times that are convenient for me and them. On the other hand, texting, online chatting, and Facebook are such superficial forms of connecting, that I find them wasteful.

What matters most? Tasks that enrich my mind, body, and soul are the first priority. Prayer, reading scripture, writing, exercising, and connecting with God and my loved ones have a deep impact on the quality of my life. I’m sure everyone has his/her own list of what matters most. If you haven’t taken the time to make up that list, do it now.

Comfort and Security

J.R. Briggs is a pastor from Pennsylvania. I read the following quote on one of his blog posts: “Refuse to default to comfort and security.” (http://www.jrbriggs.com/ )

 When in doubt, I always default to comfort and security. Sometimes I feel called to speak up against injustice, take risks that might lead to loss, get into situations that are beyond my sphere of influence. However, I usually talk myself out of these urges during the early planning stages.

How can I move from my default settings and learn to take beneficial risks? How can I accept that discomfort and instability are part of growth?

When I was 15 years old, I learned to drive. I remember being nervous every time I got behind the wheel. I realized that I could get killed or kill someone else, every time I drove. I had to put aside my actuarial tendencies and bravely go where every other 15 year old had been before.

“Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
don't try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
he's the one who will keep you on track.
Don't assume that you know it all.” (Proverbs 3:5-12 MSG)

I must trust God; Listen to God; Lean more toward God than to my own common sense.

Discontentment

We’ve all heard the story of Goldilocks and the three bears. Goldilocks invades the house of a family of bears and tries out their chairs, their food, and their beds. She declares most of what she finds unsatisfactory, but always finds baby bear’s stuff “just right”.

My Sis told me a wonderful analogy to this story. In a twisted version of this fairy tale, Goldilocks would not find anything to her liking. Nothing would be “just right”. She would restlessly keep searching, unable to satisfy her cravings. She would never be able to find contentment.

“Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth. After all, we brought nothing with us when we came into the world, and we can’t take anything with us when we leave it. So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content.” (1 Tim. 6:6-8 NLT)

Wealth does not bring contentment; contentment in itself is wealth. Remember that everything in our life is from God and not due to our own striving. Gratefulness is the first step toward contentment. We have to find satisfaction in what we have. Today, I am grateful for my God, my faith, my family, my health, my home, my friends, my mind…

God has graciously provided me with everything I need, but maybe not everything I want. It is up to me to curb my desires, if I want to find contentment.

Bitterness

I’ve been simmering with negativity. Slow boil. Occasionally someone stirs the pot, which makes it worse. Stewing in critical juice just makes one bitter.

Weeds of bitterness have taken over my flower bed. I neglected to remove them in the early stages, and now they have established roots and invaded the whole garden.
 　
“Keep a sharp eye out for weeds of bitter discontent. A thistle or two gone to seed can ruin a whole garden in no time. Watch out for the Esau syndrome: trading away God's lifelong gift in order to satisfy a short-term appetite. You well know how Esau later regretted that impulsive act and wanted God's blessing—but by then it was too late, tears or no tears.”(Heb.12:15-17 MSG)

Esau’s story is told in Genesis, Chapter 25. Esau and Jacob were twin brothers. Esau was older by a few minutes, and thus had the birthright of being the heir. Esau recklessly gave up his birthright to Jacob in exchange for a bowl of stew. The desire for immediate gratification led to loss, which then led to bitterness.
 
God has granted us the gift of peace and contentment. Yet, like Esau, we trade it in for the satisfaction of anger and self-pity. We think we can go back to peace as we choose. However, once bitterness takes root, it sucks up all the nutrients and prevents peace from growing in your heart. As soon as we see the weeds of bitterness sprouting in our life, we must yank them out by the root.

The Luxury of Quiet

I’ve been noticing how hard it is to find quiet these days. As I write this, I’m in a coffee shop that has music playing overhead as well as a TV in the corner tuned to CNN. I’ve noticed that almost every store I walk into these days has music playing overhead. Even in my own home, it’s difficult to find quiet. Someone always has the TV or music going. Now, I’m not opposed to all sound. I absolutely enjoy a good conversation. But, inane noise annoys me! I know, I know… it’s a sure sign of aging. Nowadays, I find myself driving with the radio off and exercising without my mp3. These times when I’m alone, I choose to turn the volume down on all the chaos, so I can think.

How do people manage to think with all this incessant noise? Maybe some people prefer not to think. The superficial, repetitive sound track playing in the background blocks out deep thoughts.

I have tried to carve out quiet spaces. Nooks away from the commotion. I don’t want to isolate myself from my environment. I want to be available to those who want or need me. I hope to find the sweet spot, that peaceful balance between reclusiveness and sociability.

Outgrowing our Container

This morning I was watering one of my potted plants when I noticed that a few big roots were growing out of the bottom through the plastic pot. As I made a mental note to transplant this plant into a bigger pot, I thought of how many of us outgrow our containers in one way or another.

Sometimes I feel like my faith has outgrown my church. I’ve tried switching churches, but it hasn’t helped. Most churches provide the necessary nurturing environment for limited growth. Yet, because of their institutionalized nature, containment is inevitable. Regulations, legalism, and dogmatism can be restricting. Socializing, funding, building, and various projects suck up too much time and energy. Growth of the organization takes precedence over growth of individual faith. As a result, church sometimes feels like an ornamental pot.

I understand the need to shelter new seedlings indoors. Yet, a part of me wonders if, eventually, it might be beneficial to be transplanted straight into the fertile soil of God. We may have to withstand drought and frost, but our roots could go as deep as needed.

Then our faith could thrive…“like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit.” (Jeremiah 17:7-9 NLT)

Weaning

Philip Gulley is on my top ten list of favorite authors. He only publishes books every few years, (that lazy bum!) so I have to get my fix from his sermons online. Here is a link to his site:

http://www.philipgulley.org/GRACETALK.

This morning I was reading his sermon on empathy. He talked about how too much empathy can be harmful. “When you’re investing more time, care and passion in someone’s functioning than they are, you might be doing too much.” (Philip Gulley, ‘Empathy’ ~ Grace Talks sermons)

I’ve been thinking about this. If I’m investing more time and care in someone’s functioning than they are, might I be harming them? Guilty! I am an over-functioning parent. Gulley says this leads to under-functioning kids. Guilty! I usually justify my actions by comparing myself to another parent who is even more smothering than I am.

I’ve noticed that sometimes our dog can’t find small bits of food on the floor. After a few seconds of sniffing around, we usually point it out to her with our feet. Dogs have a keen sense of smell. So why my dog needs us to find a cheerio in front of her is mind-boggling! I wonder if we’ve messed up her natural sense of smell by pointing out where to find food. 

Over-functioning relationships can also be found between spouses, friends and adult children with their aging parents. My husband’s areas of strength, tend to be my weaknesses. Stepping up in these areas would be strengthening. The more I take care of things for my son, the less motivated he is to figure it out for himself. I could back off a bit and let him fail and learn from his mistakes. I could accept that my aging parents are still capable of taking care of themselves and not try to take over too soon. Weaning these relationships at the appropriate phase is beneficial for everyone involved.

Lord, help me to step up in areas where I’m under-functioning and to step down where I am over-functioning.