Barriers

I’ve been thinking about barriers that separate me from living according to God’s expectations—like the Jordan River separated the Israelites from the Promised Land. I’ve already come so far—crossed through deserts of hopelessness, battled foes, and experienced God’s providence. However, I’m hesitant to cross these last few barriers that are in my way.

Over the years, I’ve gotten into the habit of relating to God as a business partner. Every morning and through the day, I remind God of His responsibilities, commitments, and contractual obligations. I also point out how I’m doing my part. As in any business arrangement, I feel like I need to represent my own interests. Complete obedience and subservience seem counterproductive. The relationship is strained by negotiations and compromises. The problem with this approach is it diminishes intimacy. Like in a marriage where each spouse treats the other like a business partner rather than the beloved, my focus shifts. I get fixated on what God can do for me rather than enjoying our loving relationship. I’ve attempted to cross this barrier, but I’ve never made it past the first few steps. I get about waist deep in the water, lose my footing, and panic. I immediately come back to the familiar shore and resolve to settle back into my old routine.

So how do I cross this river? I can’t walk across—I have to swim. This involves letting go, adjusting to the current, while at the same time intentionally moving toward the opposite shore. Scary stuff!