Really? Better for whom?
In any relationship, there will be an imbalance in
the giving and receiving. During different phases, we give more…other times we
take more than our share. It’s easy to feel like a chump or a martyr when you
are giving more than you are getting back. Unless
you believe in a God who loves sacrificially, it’s difficult to give
without expecting something in return.
They say that marriage is all about give and take,
but I think it’s more about giving than taking. When your generosity is not
reciprocated, it’s natural to feel used, duped, and foolish. Others may view
you as stupid and naïve. However, those of us who pattern our life in the image
of Christ find it a little easier to give of ourselves, to surrender our
rights, to yield to our partners.
Our friends and family may encourage us to look out
for our own interest. They may point out that we are being taken advantage of
or being victimized. I’ve done this…I’ve confronted friends who, in my opinion,
are too compliant. I personally believe that you can never give too much to
your spouse or young children. Yet, I’ve called out friends who yield to
pressure from their relatives, adult children, boyfriends, girlfriends,
coworkers, church members, etc.
Why do I insist on boundaries to giving
sacrificially? My personal experience has been that thoughtless, indiscriminate,
promiscuous generosity can do more harm than good. I could be wrong about this.
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