Examining Intentions

“Active habits are strengthened by repetition but passive ones are weakened.” (The Screwtape Letters, by C.S. Lewis)

Habits are formed when thoughts are turned into actions. Let’s say you have positive thoughts like: “I should exercise daily, floss my teeth daily, and drink more water.” If you act on these thoughts and make them a daily practice, then the habit is strengthened and reinforced. However, if you ignore the thought and don’t act on it, eventually it will weaken and fade in importance. Similarly, let’s say you have a negative thought such as: “I’m afraid of failure, so I won’t try anything new.” If you act on this fear by refusing to explore new projects, you reinforce your fear and anxiety. Yet, if you ignore the fear and try new things, your anxiety is diminished.

Converting positive intentions into actions strengthens good habits, while allowing negative thoughts to pass through without acting upon them will eventually cause them to fade away. Although this seems simple, it is much more complicated than it appears. As anyone who has made a New Year’s resolution can tell you: unexpected stresses come up and your good intentions are laid aside while you find comfort in your bad habits. I’ve never heard anyone say: “I’m so stressed right now--I want to go run a few miles and then eat a salad!” What I have heard is: “I’ve had a bad day--I need a drink” (or substitute any personal vice here.)

As if all this weren’t complicated enough, sometimes what appears to be an honorable intention may be motivated by our weaknesses. For example, most of us want our children to succeed. This is widely accepted as a good intention that we are all encouraged to act upon. We work hard, save up money, and make sacrifices, so that we can give our children every opportunity to fulfill their potential. We convert our positive thoughts into actions, and they become a part of our parental duties. However, if we really think about what drives our desire for our children to succeed, we might discover some less-than-ideal motivations: If my son doesn’t succeed, others might think I’m a neglectful parent. If he doesn’t get a good job, I might have to continue supporting him. If he doesn’t have a wonderful family life, I might be blamed for inculcating negative character traits in him while he was young. His life is a reflection on me as a parent, and thus some of my desire to see him succeed is motivated by my own need for societal approval.

The motives behind every thought need to be examined carefully before the thought is converted into action, or else we might inadvertently end up reinforcing a poisonous habit. Once we are convinced that our intentions are pure, then we must act right away—before the thought fades from our conscience.