Being a Mentor

 “Tell older women to live their lives in a way that shows they are dedicated to God. Tell them not to be gossips or addicted to alcohol, but to be examples of virtue. In this way they will teach young women to show love to their husbands and children, to use good judgment, and to be morally pure. Also, tell them to teach young women to be homemakers, to be kind, and to place themselves under their husbands' authority.” (Titus 2:3-4 GWT)

I see myself as an ‘older woman’ now. I have been married for 23 years, and I am a mother of an adult son. Whether I want to be a role model or not, others are influenced by my choices. If I indulge in any habit-forming behavior—whether it is using alcohol or any other mind-altering drugs, overspending, overeating, wasting time online, or being idle—it may cause others to stumble. And I cringe as I write this last part…If I neglect my home, my husband, or even my adult son, while I pursue my own agenda— If my attempts at personal development diminish my husband’s role as leader and provider…I set a bad example.

I once took a ceramics class from a teacher who made beautiful pottery. My pots, on the other hand, were always embarrassingly lopsided and lumpy. Yet my teacher never offered to get her hands on my project. She gave hints on how I could improve my technique. She kept teaching by example, showing me and the rest of the class how to mold symmetrical works of art.

In our desire to help young moms, sometimes we can be tempted to temporarily take over some of their duties. Even though our intentions are to empower them to be better wives and mothers, we end up enabling them to be neglectful instead.  

There are several ways that older women can be good mentors. We can listen, comfort, encourage, give of our time, and share our experiences. And if we have expertise in any one area—whether it is baking, sewing, cooking, homeschooling, child care, laundry, decorating, cleaning, dealing with finances, taxes, technology, difficult relationships, addictions, children with disabilities, rebellious teens, family health issues—we can teach younger women on how to be more proficient at these skills.

Most of all, we can encourage others by sharing how God has worked in our lives--how He is dependable, how we have come thus far by His grace alone.