Investment vs. Giving

I used to invest in people. I put time and effort into nurturing relationships in the hopes that someday there would be a positive return of some sort--maybe this friendship would be educational, entertaining, enlightening, enjoyable, or mutually beneficial. 

Now that I am older, I find that I prefer to give of myself rather than investing. I’m no longer looking for relationships that give back. I’m at a stage of life where I feel blessedly content—most of the time. God has poured his mercy and abundant grace into my life; thus, I’m less worried about running out of resources as I share.

However, I don’t give of myself indiscriminately. I recently met a person who would benefit from a good friend. Yet, I’m pretty sure that, in this case, I am not fit to fulfill this role in her life. She is more likely to pollute me than I am likely to influence her. Instead of bringing out the best in each other, we are more likely to bring out the worst in each other. Spending any energy on this friendship would take away resources from other relationships where I could actually make a difference.

Luckily, most of my friendships are fertile and cultivable. I’m happy to plant seeds in their lives, even though I might not be involved in the harvest—for I have been on the receiving end of such grace. Many others have given freely to me without any expectations of reciprocation. They believed in me when I couldn’t believe in myself. They dug up treasures that were so deeply buried within me that I didn’t know of their existence. Now it is my turn to do the same for others.

“The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)