Despair

Why am I discouraged? Why am I restless? I trust you, LORD! And I will praise you again because you help me, and you are my God. (Psalm 43:5 CEV)

I am in the middle of a long training run that has been scheduled weeks in advance. It feels like a storm is coming. The air feels heavy. Dark clouds are gathering. The wind is picking up. I know this is not the time to be out in the elements, so I reluctantly go indoors. I am bummed about having to give up my plans. I feel discouraged. I restlessly pace back and forth, looking out the window, hoping the dark clouds will drift away quickly. Within the shelter of my home, there is light, warmth, and safety--but I am too fixated on the external gloom to notice. 

When the clouds of despair gather, I seek shelter in the Lord. Yet, as long as I remain preoccupied by despondency, I fail to notice the light and warmth.  Resentment and gratitude cannot coexist. A dejected spirit cannot praise. Thus, I must redirect my attention. I must surrender all my plans, desires, goals, and standards and trust God completely. I have to quit looking out the window of my soul. My external circumstances are not in my control, but what I focus on is within my power. I concentrate on God’s grace, His unmerited favor. I immerse in His light. I soak in His warmth. I remember how He has helped me. I put my confidence in the LORD. I thank Him. I praise Him again and again.