DFBB

“...my dear friend and burden-bearer...” (Philippians 4:3 TPT)

The acronym BFF (Best Friends Forever) became popular in the mid 1990’s. Young people used it as a way to identify close friendships. The criteria and the terminology for intimate friendships change as we age. For instance, I chose my first ‘best friend’ in kindergarten based on the fact that we both had the same winter coat. Apparently, that’s all it took back then. During my teen years, all my friends either looked like me or shared similar interests. Perhaps I was just looking for people who made me feel normal and included. 

Over the next few decades, my criteria for close friendships evolved. I no longer fixated on the externals; character became much more important. I developed concentric circles of friends. The outer circles consisted of associates, coworkers, neighbors, and extended relatives. Casual friends and activity buddies were one step closer. However, the innermost circle was reserved for a select few, my Dearest Friends and Burden-Bearers. Only those who were consistent, honorable, loyal, kind, transparent, and vulnerable could be kept that close to my heart. These friends were willing to share their burdens with me and help me bear my sorrows. We could walk alongside each other in suffering and shoulder the heavy parts of life. 

I prefer Dearest Friends and Burden-Bearers (DFBBs) to Best Friends Forever (BFFs). My DFBBs are blessings that I do not take lightly. I lean on them whenever I need strength and balance. I make myself available when they need me. I listen attentively, speak transparently, and invest consistently. In this life, burdens are inevitable; having DFBBs  make the journey bearable.