Weird Dream

We regularly attend a Catholic church. At the beginning of Mass, two attendants and a priest walk down the nave (the center aisle) to the altar. One attendant carries a cross, and the other carries a Bible. We don’t have any altar boys or girls at our church. Most of the time, I’ve noticed two women who volunteer for this task.

I had a weird dream early this morning. I dreamt that I walked into our church on a holiday, all dressed up in a skirt suit and a pair of fabulous high heel shoes. I was carrying a laptop case slung around one arm and a bulky DSLR camera on the other. (I warned you it was a weird dream…in reality I’ve never taken either to church!) As I enter the church, our parish priest comes up and asks me if I would be willing to carry either the cross or the Bible down the nave. I’m a little annoyed. Can’t he see that I have all this expensive electronics with me? I can’t just drop it somewhere and leave it unattended! But before I get a chance to protest out loud, he is walking me towards the other women who usually do this task. Then he adds: “You will have to change your shoes. These ladies will show you where we keep the special shoes that are worn for the procession.” I look down at their feet. These two ladies are wearing goofy, black flats with white gym socks! Are you kidding me! There is no way in hell I’m wearing those shoes! It would ruin my look! So, I turn around and tell the priest: “I’m sorry. I can’t do it. It’s not because of the shoes” (I’m lying… the shoes are the deal breaker.) “I would just be so nervous that I’m afraid I might trip and fall and drop the Bible or cross and make a scene. You better find someone else.” Thankfully, I woke up at this point of the dream.

It doesn’t take a genius to interpret my dream. I don’t want to put down my good life and lift up God’s Word and His Cross…and I definitely don’t want to look goofy. I make up all sorts of excuses that make no sense. (Like, “I might trip and fall in flats, so I think I’ll keep my high-heels on.”)

You would think that after a vivid dream like this I would be convicted to change my attitude. No…I just feel sad right now. I don’t really want to make any changes. I don’t want to give up what I have.