Cluttered Faith

My home has a storage area in the basement. Whenever we don’t know where to put something, or we are reluctant to part with it, or we just don’t want to deal with it, we usually stick it in this storage room. It has become a hassle to find anything in all the clutter.  

Clutter causes confusion and chaos. It buries the essential under a heap of nonessentials.

My faith has become cluttered. I inherited some of my beliefs. As I passed through different phases, I added more to the pile. Yet, I rarely got rid of anything, even if I outgrew it. My faith is now a messy amalgam of dogma, doctrine, tradition, superstition, popular opinion, and habitual practice.

Every so often, my husband and I clean out the storage room. We drag out all the boxes and get rid of what is no longer important to us. I wish I could do the same with my faith. I wish I could sort through my accumulated beliefs and decide what to keep and what to discard.

If your faith is confusing, chaotic, and burdensome, it might be time for a cleanup. This will take some dedication, effort, and sincere evaluation.  Periodically decluttering  your beliefs is important, because it enables you to separate the essential from the inessential.  

Broadcast Spreaders

Fall temperatures are ideal for reseeding lawns. It’s time to pull out one of my favorite pieces of lawn equipment--the broadcast spreader. For those of you who are not familiar with this simple but useful tool, let me give you a description of its elegant design. It looks like a wheelbarrow with a hole in the bottom. Underneath this hole is a disk that is attached with a gear to the wheels below. When the wheels move, the disk moves--spreading the seed as it falls out of the hole. You can put grass seed, fertilizer--whatever needs distributing--in the hopper (the big bin with the hole in it)--and push it around the yard to distribute it evenly.

If I could be any piece of lawn equipment, I would want to be a broadcast spreader. (What?! like, you’ve never thought about what kind of lawn equipment you would like to be!)  I would like to be used by God to distribute whatever needs spreading--blessings, support, words of encouragement, comfort, joy, peace, wisdom, grace, spirit, love, hope...

Previously, I have wished that the void in my center would be filled. Now I know there is a purpose for this missing piece. This hole is set apart--made holy--for God’s purposes. It is useful to God. He walks behind me, pushing me along, distributing whatever He has placed in me.

Enduring Love

It is humanly impossible to love certain people. It is also unreasonable to expect us to keep persevering in our faith when we are beyond our breaking point. However, the impossible and unreasonable become achievable with divine grace.

“May the Master take you by the hand and lead you along the path of God’s love and Christ’s endurance.” ( 2 Thess 3:5 NLT)

In the above verse, endurance is translated from the Greek hupomone. Here is a description of hupomone: 

“It is the courageous and triumphant ability to pass the breaking-point and not to break. It is the alchemy which transmutes tribulation into strength and glory. Hupomone describes endurance when circumstances are difficult. It is not a passive acceptance but a strong fortitude in the face of opposition or difficulty. It is the opposite of despondency. Hupomone describes that spirit which bears things not simply with resignation, but with a blazing hope. In other words, if something happens in your life that is hard and painful and frustrating and disappointing, and, by grace, your faith looks to Christ and to his power and his sufficiency and his fellowship and his wisdom and his love, and you don't give in to bitterness and resentment and complaining, then your faith endures and perseveres.” (William Barclay’s Daily Study Bible)

Divine love has to be big enough and strong enough to overcome what is impossible to achieve under our own power. God’s enduring love in us is essential to loving difficult people and persevering past our breaking points.

Divine Love vs. Human Affection

Is there a difference between Divine love and human affection?

Human affection is usually contingent on many factors.  I love my own child more than other people’s children. I’m more invested in friends whom I spend time with than friends whom I haven’t seen in decades. If someone repeatedly hurts me, I instinctively put up protective barriers against further exposure to pain.

Human love is self-gratifying. My love for my husband, my son, my friends--all bring me a sense of satisfaction and joy. These relationships are reciprocal. There is an expectation of give-and-take. Divine love is self-sacrificial. It is all about giving. It is more concerned about the other’s highest good than its own welfare.  

Divine love is unconditional, unfailing, and enduring. Human love is conditional, limited, and circumstantial. It is more about self-gratification and less about self-sacrifice. Yet, we can be powered by God’s wide-open, extravagantly abundant love rather than by our narrow, meager, human love. We merely have to dissolve into this Higher Power that engulfs us.

God Is Love

“God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us...There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life--fear of death, fear of judgment--is one not fully formed in love.” (1 John 4: 17-18 MSG)

We are engulfed in God’s love. The more we love, the more porous we become. Thus, we become permeated with the Spirit of love. Fear makes us less absorbent, less accessible. We erect protective barriers in an attempt to be less vulnerable. However, this self-limiting behavior prevents us from experiencing God’s perfect love. When we become as porous as a sponge, we soak up the Spirit of God’s love. Subsequently, when we are squeezed, we express this Spirit of love. When there are no barriers between God and us, when there is nothing separating us from His Spirit, then we become saturated by this love that surrounds us.

Spiritual Maturity

Sometimes, I wish I could rewind and hit the pause button--back to when my son was four years old. Back then, I could easily comfort him with a batch of cookies and a hug. I could go everywhere with him and watch over him. I could answer most of his questions, give structure to his life, and guide him through many of his daily hurdles. Yet, I would not want my son to be a child forever.

I might wish for him to feel cozy and comfy--but I don’t want him to be stagnant. As any loving parent, I want him to grow to his full potential. Facing external pressures and dealing with internal struggles are essential to development.

Similarly, God  is  concerned about our comfort, but not at the expense of growth. As any loving parent, He wants us to grow to our full  potential. This involves letting us face the pressures of life. We keep wondering why God allows suffering. Why doesn’t he protect us, shield us from all these troubles? Stress and struggle are integral to growth.  God’s desire to have a mature spiritual relationship with us is greater than His desire for us to have a comfortable life.  

Pursue HIS Interests

Imagine you have a house guest that moves in and takes over. Oh, and what if he expects you to hang around and be his personal assistant? I’ve had this happen in my life, and it was NOT fun! Basically, you end up letting someone use you and own you.

I have been thinking about the question which I posed in the previous blog post:

How do I let God pursue His interest in me?

“Make room for the Master! Our Master Jesus has his arms wide open for you.” (1 Cor. 16:22-23 MSG)

In order to make room for Jesus, I might have to clear some space. I might need to stay open, receptive, and available at all times. I might need to stop seeking worldly legitimacy, focus all my senses on God’s agenda, and let God direct my every move. I might need to let go of my own interests, so that God can pursue His interests in me.

Lord, You own me, thus you can use me.

Spiritual Numbness

When I was young, I had a severe case of self-itis. Self-itis is an inflammation of one’s ego which leads to a self-centered, self-serving attitude. I was too wrapped up in my own self-interests to see or feel anything beyond myself. Later on, I became a bit more tuned in to others--especially to how these others perceived ME! This  ‘other-centeredness’ was just a more humanitarian form of self-itis--seeking legitimacy from the world by helping others, doing good, contributing to society, being responsible, taking care of my family, etc.

“Fed up with their...self-centered ways, God blurred their eyes and dulled their ears, Shut them in on themselves in a hall of mirrors, and they’re there to this day.” (Rom. 11:7-10 MSG)

Self-itis leads to spiritual numbness--a dulling of our receptivity to God. The more we are tuned-in to ourselves or worldly approval, the less we are able to focus on anything beyond this earthly ‘hall of mirrors’ full of distortions and confusion.

“The chosen ones were those who let God pursue his interest in them, and as a result received His stamp of legitimacy.”(Rom. 11:7-10 MSG)

How do I let God pursue His interest in me?

Karma vs. Grace

The principle of karma is a basic tenet of Hinduism and Buddhism. It is based on the law of causality--your intentions and actions determine the outcome of your future. Or, in other words, “You will get what you deserve.” This is not much different from the Christian concept of “reaping what you sow.” (Galatians 6:7)  

Most of us can agree that there are consequences to our actions. Yet, we can also observe that people with the best intentions and good behavior still end up suffering. Some of us are blessed much more than we deserve. Some of us face many more struggles than we deserve.

Grace (in Christian theology)  is defined as unmerited, unearned, undeserved favor from God. It is beyond causality. The principle of cause and effect is undeniable--it is part of the natural order of things. However, on both sides of this principle, we see supernatural exceptions. If there is a benevolent God who shows us more kindness and mercy than we deserve, then there must also be a malevolent spirit who persecutes us beyond what is justified. I think of it as three zones that overlap slightly: the oppression zone, the karma zone, and the grace zone.  If only we could stay in the grace zone all the time!

“Sin is no longer your master...for you no longer live under the requirements of the law. Instead you live under the freedom of God’s grace.” (Rom 6:14 NLT)

Sin--whatever separates us from God--no longer has power over us.  We don’t have to live under the law of causality either. Instead, we can choose to live in the freedom of God’s grace zone.

Going Home

A little boy died last night. He had been really sick for several years. For the last few years he and his family have gone through so much suffering. I wonder why God didn’t call him home sooner. Why put them through all of this?

I wonder if life on earth is meant to be like going away to college.  Every fall, freshmen get dropped off by their loving parents at college dorms. Within a short time, many students feel overwhelmed, homesick, and miserable. They call their parents and ask them to let them come back home. Most parents will tell their young adult children to hang in there, despite the difficulties, because there is so much for them to learn.

God, our parent, drops us off on the campus of life, knowing it will be a struggle. We call on Him to say we are stressed out. We wish God would just let us come back home.Yet he tells us we still have much to experience, and others have things to learn from  us as well.

This little boy’s struggle has taught the rest of us many lessons: To appreciate every motor skill--from swallowing, talking, and walking, to being grateful for our abilities to see, think, and function, and to cherish every day with our loved ones. These lessons are meant to be shared with our fellow students on this campus of life. We all have much to learn from each other before we a graduate from this world to the next.

Mastered By Possessions

Mildred Lisette Norman (a.k.a. Peace Pilgrim) was one of those rare people who practiced what she preached. At the age of 45, she started walking across the U.S. with only the clothes on her back and the few things in her pocket. She carried no money and wouldn’t ask for food or shelter. She continued walking and speaking about peace and simplicity until she died at the age of 73.

“Unnecessary possessions are unnecessary burdens. If you have them, you have to take care of them! There is great freedom in simplicity of living. It is those who have enough but not too much who are the happiest. Anything you cannot relinquish when it has outlived its usefulness possesses you, and in this materialistic age a great many of us are possessed by our possessions.” (Peace Pilgrim)

Some people are focused on acquisition and accumulation, others on preservation of what they already have. Neither brings peace. The more we have, the more we have to lose. Protecting, preserving, and maintaining our possessions can become just as much an obsession as acquiring new things. And, it’s not just material things that we can be possessive about; we can also get fixated on intangibles such as our relationships, our reputations, or our accomplishments.

We spend our resources caring for, protecting, updating, cleaning, fixing, moving, and rearranging what we own--without realizing that there has been a transfer of ownership--our possessions have become the Master. When our belongings dictate our choices, then they have mastery over us. Our possessions now possess us.

Delivery Truck Drivers

The brown delivery truck is making its way around our neighborhood again. I can see the delivery man dropping boxes at each doorway. I wonder if he ever feels tempted to just drive the whole truck to his own home and keep all the packages for himself. Or does he ever go and sit in the back of his truck during lunch breaks, open some boxes, and feel like it would be okay to play with some of the more interesting gadgets?

I think we are all assigned a truckload of blessings--talents, opportunities, friends, insights, experiences, money, time, energy, health, skills, and freedoms.  It is tempting to use it for our own benefit. We imagine we deserve what’s in our truck, or that we earned it through hard work.

“When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required.” (Luke 12:48 NLT)

We are all meant to be delivery men/women. We are entrusted with blessings, given an assigned route, and sent out daily to fulfill this purpose. We need to resist the temptation to indulge ourselves with what has been given to us. The more blessings you have been given, the more work you have to do...so get going with those deliveries!   

Divine Disruptions

I don’t like to be idle. Every morning, I make a list of things I would like to get accomplished. Yet, I rarely get everything on the list crossed out. I used to get really bent out of shape when my plans were waylaid.

Sometimes it’s difficult to differentiate between divine disruptions and ordinary distractions. I’ll be in the middle of a task, and my phone will beep with a notification of some sort that draws me in. Or, I’ll have the urge to forage through my kitchen for a snack or a cup of tea. Sometimes I feel a prompting to pause what I’m doing and reach out to someone, or it might come as a thought to sit still, think, pray, listen, or write something down.

Unlike garden-variety distractions, divine disruptions tend to have an unpredictable spontaneity to them. If I have an urge to stop vacuuming and go eat some cookies, there is nothing surprising or unexpected in that. However, if I have a prompting that comes out of nowhere--to call an acquaintance whom I haven’t contacted in years, or to pray for a friend’s son, or to write an email to a relative who lives halfway around the world--I pay more attention to it. Since these urges don’t make much sense to me, I have to completely trust that this must  be  a God thing. I don’t immediately act on these urges; I wait for step-by-step instructions and clarifications. I notice how kinks are  ironed out as I trustingly carry out the directions. I’m not saying I know for sure that these are God-directed urges--they might be ego driven. Often, when the outcome of my involvement is less than satisfying, it gets even more confusing.

Although I have a strong preference for structure and routine, I also want  an abundantly free life. I suspect this involves spontaneous obedience that emerges from complete trust in God. Thus, nowadays, I expect interruptions. I try to stay open and available for divine disruptions.

Zero Gravity

Have you ever wanted to float in zero gravity like an astronaut in outer space? Well, there is a company called Zero G that will make this dream come true.  They will take you up in a plane that flies in parabolic maneuvers which create several spurts of weightlessness lasting 20-30 seconds each. For about $5000, you can expect to float freely and do mid-air acrobatics for a total of about 7 minutes.  Even though I wouldn’t pay that much for the experience, I am curious about how it feels to float freely.

“Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God.” (Matt. 6:25-26 MSG)

Sometimes, I notice people who operate from a place of complete abandon. Unconstrained by earthly attachments, they seem to be able to tap into a supernatural grace. I think we all have access to spiritual gifts, but most of us are limited by the gravity of this world's concerns. We can't fully enter into the zero-gravity floating that allows us to move with supernatural power. As long as we are focused on human behavior, human contribution, human relationships--we are limited. This is the gravity that pulls us back to earth.

God can and does operate within us, even when we are leading these limited, non-expansive, not-so-abundant, weighed-down-by-gravity lives. Yet, things could be so much better if we could let go of these earthly concerns and freely move in a space of grace.

Abundant Love

What prevents us from living in the flow? Is it a choice that we make continually, deciding to trust completely?

What limits us? I'm sure it's different for each of us. For me, it is fear, anxiety, the illusion of control, and the desire to be efficient, sensible, practical, and prudent.

These questions reminded me of the following verses: "I can’t tell you how much I long for you to enter this wide-open, spacious life. We didn’t fence you in. The smallness you feel comes from within you. Your lives aren’t small, but you’re living them in a small way. I’m speaking as plainly as I can and with great affection. Open up your lives. Live openly and expansively!" (2 Corinthians 6:11-13 MSG)

My friend, SR, has stage 4 lung cancer. She has completely surrendered to God's will precisely because of her suffering. She has given up the illusion of control. She lives a wide-open, spacious, abundant life, splashing around in God's flowing stream, being carried by the current, willing to go wherever God carries her. I, on the other hand, am still collecting my canoe, paddles, life vests, food, water, bug spray, and first aid supplies; I'll most likely spend my entire life on this earth preparing for all possible eventualities and never enter the stream. When we have lots of options, it is difficult to trust God completely. SR could  choose to be bitter, discouraged, sorrowful--but instead, she has chosen a life of acceptance and glorifying God.

Shoved over Hurdles

I have a hard time distinguishing between 'my projects' and 'God's projects.' Recently, a thought came to me that I needed to do something for a particular person. I couldn’t tell if this was my own idea or some sort of divine nudge. I’ve had these kinds of thoughts before. I’ve noticed that if I wait long enough, I can talk myself out of following through on these notions. I usually tell myself that this doesn’t make sense, or that my motives are mixed up, or that the conditions are less than ideal.

I can filter out the urge to follow most promptings by deciding that my input will not make much difference in this situation. Obedience without analyzing the outcome is a HUGE hurdle for me. I want to know if my actions will have a positive impact. And since I can’t predict the results of most situations, I tend to hold back from getting involved.

This time, I obeyed without analyzing too much. God, in HIS grace, has pushed me over my barriers once again. I'm pretty sure that next time I come to this same hurdle, I will balk again, and God is going to have to shove me up and over every time.

The Secret of Contentment

My wants are unlimited. If I were granted three wishes, I would use one of them to ask for more wishes. Mostly I want non-material things--peace, health, safety--for myself and my loved ones. I want my son to have a good life. I want my husband to be safe and healthy. I want my friends to be free from all forms of suffering.  Since my wants continue to grow, I always feel needy. Yet, I have observed people all around me who are truly needy and still seem at peace.

Can we find peace in the midst of chaos? Can we find satisfaction when our desires are unmet? Can we feel full when we are actually empty? For example, is it humanly possible to feel contentment when your spouse is suffering due to  a terminal illness, or your son has a severe disability, or your home is being foreclosed because you’ve been unemployed for a year?

“Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” (Phil 4:11-13 NLT)

The secret to contentment is not in having everything you want, but in learning how to live with whatever you have. And this is not a skill we acquire naturally. The lessons of contentment can only be mastered through supernatural strength and wisdom.

Offensive Weapons

(Armor of God Series)

Most of the time, we are in defense mode--merely trying to protect ourselves and our loved ones against evil. Should we even try to fight back? If so, how can we go on the offense against the powers of darkness?

“Take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” (Ephesians 6:17 NLT)

“God's word is living and active. It is sharper than any two-edged sword and cuts as deep as the place where soul and spirit meet, the place where joints and marrow meet. God's word judges (discerns) a person's thoughts and intentions.” (Hebrews 4:12 GWT)

What does this even mean?

Spirit--conscious, essence, incorporeal (comes from the Latin spiritus which is a combination of the words for breath and action)

Word (as used in the Bible)--manifestation of God’s thoughts, revelation of God, expression of God. (comes from the Greek logos--embodying of an idea, reasoning as expressed by words)

In order to fight back, we need to seek and find the weapon first. Then, we need to grasp it and learn to use it skillfully. Listen for God--His Spirit is omnipresent;  His expressions are multitudinous. Breathe in His conscious essence; embody His revelations and expressions.

We can push forward with what has been revealed--the comprehensible part of the incomprehensible, the experienceable edge of the inexperienceable, the conscious tip of the divine consciousness.

Shield of Trust

(Armour of God Series)

I pride myself on being fiscally savvy. I’m the kind of person who reads reviews before every purchase and checks out annual financial statements of charities before I make donations. Recently, I felt a nudge to do something that didn’t make sense.  It wasn’t the most efficient or productive use of money or time.  The outcome of my decision was completely out of my control. I would also have to humble myself

in the process by giving up some long-held ideas. I was hesitant to follow this nudge. On the one hand, I sensed it was the right thing to do; on the other hand, I kept thinking of practical reasons why this was not such a good idea.

Flaming darts of doubt, confusion, skepticism, mixed emotions, insecurities, misgivings, weaknesses, and reminders of past misjudgements come at us continuously. We have to be able to trust in a power higher than our senses in order to shield ourselves from these arrows of fear.

Faith is unwavering trust in God. When we trust God completely, we can submit to His agenda, follow His nudges, obey his directions--even when they don’t make sense to us. Trust allows us to obey without knowing every detail of a plan, to start without knowing the outcome. Trust makes us more user-friendly for God’s purposes.

“In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one.” (Ephesians 6:16 ESV)

Protect Your Foundation

(Armor of God series)

I like cute shoes. I admit that I  have a weakness for impractical yet fabulous footwear. Yet, I have learned that there is a time for high heels and a time for running shoes.  Once a week, I do a long run.  I prepare my feet by moisturizing, putting on socks that wick away moisture, and carefully lacing up my most comfortable running shoes. This is a time for stability and firm footing. I don’t want blisters or twisted ankles. My feet are going to be my main contact point with the ground. The shoes are meant to protect and cushion my feet from continuous pounding for the next few hours. Even a tiny pebble or a seam in my socks can be chafing.  

Peace and stability are essential when enduring spiritual battles.  Anxiety and agitation sap our strength. Minor irritations can lead to debilitating injuries that prevent us from finishing what we set out to do.  Our extremities may not seem vital, but these contact points with the world are what allow us to stand our ground and to move forward. So we must protect our foundation.  

“For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared.” (Ephesians 6:15 NLT)