Self-Excavation

“Let’s take a good look at the way we’re living and reorder our lives under God.” (Lamentations 3:40 MSG)

Many faith traditions recommend periodic retreats that focus on spiritual growth, self-awareness, and interior healing. Spiritual retreats are commonly held in quiet environments that allow participants time for study, prayer, and contemplation. Amidst the busyness of our lives, most of us rarely have the time for interior work--unless we intentionally carve out space for it, or we are forced to do so by exigent circumstances. 

The COVID pandemic has caused many of us into a period of mandatory retreat. The way we used to live and think has been upended.  This global pause can be an opportunity for introspection and spiritual reflection. It could be a fitting time to practice abstaining from our personal desires and consider the collective wellbeing of all life forms. Excavations of the soul are never comfortable; thus, most of us are reluctant to dig too deeply. However, without self-examination, we cannot know our true identity or purpose. Instead of rushing to resume our previous norms, let us take this occasion to uncover who we are, express the unsaid, unlearn old habits, and reassess what is meaningful. 

Guided Walks

“He will lead you in the way that you should go. When you feel dried up and worthless, God will nourish you and give you strength.” (Isaiah 58:11 VOICE)

We got a new puppy a few weeks ago. Every day I walk him around our acreage in a circle. He stops to sniff and chew on everything in our path. I don’t rush him since this is how puppies learn. However, when we are about three-fourths of the way around the acre, the puppy suddenly realizes he is tired and decides he wants to get back home. He starts pulling me back the way we came. I try telling him we are almost done, we just need to move forward a few more steps. But the puppy doesn’t understand my words or trust me yet. He trusts his sense of smell and his instincts. I gently tug at his leash to nudge him forward. As he gets closer to the familiar surroundings of our covered porch and his outdoor water bowl, he finally recognizes that I was leading him the right way all along. But tomorrow the puppy will forget and repeat the whole process again. 

My walk with God is not all that different. He guides my steps, leading me according to His purposes. My desire to taste and experience everything that life has to offer drives me to distraction.  The Lord is patient and generous. He lets me take my time to learn and grow. Sometimes I feel tired, overwhelmed, drained, worthless, and hopeless. During these phases, I want to pull back, regress, and depend on my own instincts. God nudges me forward. He encourages me to trust him. He reminds me of His dependability and wisdom. I follow Him in faith. 

Are You Exhausted?

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Matthew 11:28-30 MSG)

Yesterday, my husband moved a few chairs from our back porch to our front yard. He placed the chairs under a large maple tree, but positioned them in an unusual angle--facing our house rather than the street. As we sat and looked back at our house as the sun was setting, we realized that we had never paid attention to our home from this particular vantage point. 

Whenever I feel tired and on the verge of burning out, I go to chapter 11 of the Gospel of Matthew. God teaches me something different every few years--positioning me in various angles so that I can gain new perspectives. I read the verse yesterday morning but got nothing new out of it. I acknowledged that I was exhausted and my soul craved rest. God’s yoke sounded like an extra burden on top of all that I was already carrying. How could that be light? 

As long as I insist on having my way and asking God to assist me while I pursue my agenda--the struggle becomes too much to bear. I push and pull. I toil until I am weary. I expend all my energy. When things don’t work out as I planned, I feel defeated.  

This morning, I read the verses again. I walked around my yard mumbling it to myself. I imagined Christ and me joined closely, working in unison, plowing up the ground like two oxen yoked together. But it has to be God’s agenda that we are working on, not our own. This is what makes the burden lighter. 

When we partner with Christ, we don’t have to figure out everything on our own. He shoulders our burden because it is HIS burden as well. His strength and guidance drive us forward. When we yield to His purposes, we live freely and lightly. The rhythms of grace are unforced but not unfocused. Following Christ requires intentional attention and concentrated effort. 

Naming Your Identity

“For this is what the Lord says: I will bless those eunuchs...I will give them—within the walls of my house a memorial and a name far greater than sons and daughters could give.” (Isaiah 56:4-5 NLT) 

A friend of mine recently did something surprising. For the first time in her adult life, she went into a room full of people and pronounced her own name properly. Her last name is frequently mispronounced by those around her. For decades, she never corrected anyone. By the time she was in middle school, she started mispronouncing her own name--using the anglicized version that made others more comfortable. Until last week, she convinced herself that it made no difference what people called her. She said it felt good to claim her identity. She doesn’t expect everyone else to say her name correctly--but she does want to stop reinforcing the mislabeling.

In recent years, there has been a shift in the labels we use to describe marginalized groups of people. While there are some who dismiss these terms as mere political correctness, they are meant to convey empathy and respect. If a person mentions they are of a certain race or ethnic ancestry, I do not challenge their claim by their physical features. If a person asks to be referred to by a certain pronoun, I do not question their gender identity. If a person uses a term that I am unfamiliar with to describe themselves, I see it as a learning opportunity rather than being annoyed at having to change my mindset. I do this out of a desire to be kind, not to be seen as politically correct or virtuous. I believe that everyone, including those who are often pushed to the margins of society, deserves to be treated with dignity. 

Non-Binary Thinking

“For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others--and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it." (Matthew 19:12 NIV)

In the early 20th Century, the ‘one-drop’ rule of racial classification was codified into law in many regions of the United States. It upheld the belief that any person with even ‘one drop’ of  black ancestry was considered Black. Back then, the concept that a person could be biracial was not accepted. One was either White or Black--not both. Like other societies that considered one race superior to the other, the U.S. applied the principles of hypodescent--automatically assigning mixed race people to the ethnic group with the lower status. 

Fortunately, our country has come a long way in our non-binary thinking--at least on the subject of race and ethnicity. However, many of us are still stuck in dualistic paradigms about other issues such as gender identity. Biblical literalists contend that God made Adam and Eve, male and female, and nothing in between. Jesus reminds us that eunuchs and other marginalized people have a place in society. He taught us to accept those who are in-between. 

The Threshold of Trust

“At the edge of the beautiful land God had promised them, they didn’t trust His words, so they refused to enter.” (Psalm 106:24 VOICE)

Our new puppy has a habit of pausing at transition spots.  When he approaches doorways or different surfaces like gravel, he sniffs and pulls back several times before moving forward. We go before him and try to coax him with treats. However, he remains skeptical of our judgment. He wants to figure out for himself whether a space is safe or not. The enticements we offer are no match for his doggedness. 

The Israelites were similarly mistrustful. God offered them milk and honey in the beautiful promised land, but they didn’t trust His words, so they remained on the edge and refused to enter. They trusted their instincts more than they trusted their God. 

How about you?  Do you trust God’s promises? 

Are you pacing at the edges, reluctant to move through transition phases? OR--

Are you ready to cross the threshold of trust and enter into what God has planned for you? 

Waiting on Counsel

 “They wouldn’t wait for his counsel.” (Psalm 106:13 NLT)

I am not an impulsive person. If I am considering buying something new, I read multiple reviews on the product. If a friend asks me for advice, I research the subject online, even if I know enough to give an educated response. If someone asks me to invest time or energy on a project, I wait several days before committing. I consult my spouse and my friends to get their perspective before making up my mind. I am sure that this practice may seem indecisive and unspontaneous, but this is part of how I process things. 

I also pray and consult God about most ‘big’ situations, especially if they are beyond what I can figure out on my own power. I would do this more often if it weren’t for the unpredictability of the response time.  Waiting on God’s timing can be inconvenient. Thus, if I don’t get clear directions within what I consider a reasonable time, I go ahead and make a decision based on my own instincts. I have not learned to wait on God’s counsel no matter how long it takes. 

Why wait? Why not use common sense? 

Common sense is easily accessible, but Divine wisdom is out of the way. Waiting on God teaches us to depend on Him instead of on our own wits.  It develops patience. As we grow in faith, we learn to settle in for however long it takes. We seek the clarity and wisdom of the Spirit, not the opinions of the world. Our ultimate goal is to fulfill God’s purpose. There is nothing more pleasing to Him than submission and obedience. We glorify the Lord when we trust Him. 

God Spotters

“Keep your eyes open for God, watch for his works; be alert for signs of his presence.” (Psalm 105:4 MSG)

Weather spotters are trained volunteers who observe and record changes in weather. They have honed their internal radar to provide ‘ground truth’--direct observations as opposed to inferences derived from weather instruments. They help their communities by furnishing timely information about rainfall, temperatures, storms, and tornadoes. 

Have you seen God at work today? Have you felt His presence? Is He on your radar? 

Like weather spotters who report weather patterns, learning to spot God takes practice and study. When something is ‘on your radar’, you unconsciously scan for it. When we keep our eyes open, we notice things we might otherwise miss. One way to increase your sensitivity to God’s signature work is to study previous wonders. Go over the things for which you are grateful today. This clears the static and helps you focus. Now, ask the Lord to give you supernatural senses to pick up His signals and be a wonder spotter and miracle assistant. Step outside and look at the trees, the dogs, and the sunlight. Listen to the mournful songs of the dove. Wonder at the expanse of stars in the night sky.  Encourage your family and friends to share the highlights and low points of their day with you. Pray for all those you come in contact with, and praise God for everything. Next time you check social media, see if you notice God at work in your community of friends. When someone reaches out to you, take the opportunity to help out. Be a part of God’s miraculous crew of assistants. Keep your eyes open, watch for His works, be alert for signs of His presence.

Focused Breathing

“When you give them your breath (Spirit), life is created, and you renew the face of the earth.” (Psalm 104:30 NLT)

All living things breathe or process oxygen in some way. Most land animals use their lungs. Fish use their gills to breathe underwater by absorbing oxygen that is dissolved in water. Plants take in oxygen through stomata-- little holes in their leaves. Breathing is the essence of life. 

God infuses His Spirit into us with each breath. We are inspired by the Spirit of God with each inhalation. Without breathing, there is no life. Without the Spirit, we cannot grow, thrive, or survive. We breathe involuntarily, unthinkingly, all day long. Until there is a problem, we take the air around us and our ability to breathe for granted.  Then, we pay attention; all we can think about is getting more air. Similarly, we rarely think about the Spirit until we are in trouble; then we desperately seek Him. 

Today, take a few minutes to focus on your breath. Focused breathing can lead us to pay attention to the Spirit, thus making each breath a prayer. With discipline and practice, we can learn to pray without ceasing as long as we live. With each inhalation, recognize the Spirit of God around you and within you. Absorb the Divine presence through every pore. Commune with the Lord. Share your heart’s desires. Listen to His soothing whispers. Breathe in the Spirit deeply. 

Wildflowers

 “Our days on earth are like grass; like flowers we bloom...” (Psalm 103:15 NLT) 

There are millions of wildflowers growing without any human intervention. These flowers are growing in places where no one goes to appreciate their beauty. These plants self-seed and thrive even in less than ideal conditions. One such wild plant that I intentionally keep in my garden is the garlic chive. It is one of the few herbs that comes back every year on its own. The flat, long blades can easily be mistaken for grass until they put forth blooms. The white flowers house clusters of seeds. The seeds drop to the ground and remain dormant under the soil, even in the harsh winter months. Every spring, when nothing else is growing in the garden, the tender shoots of this plant give me something nourishing to add to my recipes.  I am amazed at how nature cares for this plant without any input on my part.

“And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you.” (Matthew 6:30 NLT)

If wildflowers can bloom without external assistance, perhaps I can too. Even when I have no support from others, I can depend on God to care for me. In the same way, if a loved one is unable to receive the encouragement I offer, God will provide another way. We were created to grow and thrive whether or not we are seen or appreciated by other humans. God cares so wonderfully for each and every one of us and enjoys our beauty.

Friends and Flowers

“Support one another. Keep building each other up as you have been doing.” (1 Thessalonians 5:11 VOICE)

I grow mostly herbs, fruits, and vegetables in my garden. I tend to be a rational gardener. Take, for example, a tomato plant. If I water it daily, weed around it, and fertilize it--I am rewarded with delicious tomatoes. The functional flowers of a tomato plant are a precursor to the fruit. Humans need food. Growing food makes sense. 

Unlike tomatoes, there are many flowering plants that are grown solely for their beauty. You can’t eat them. They are not ‘useful’ like fruits and vegetables. However, I have planted gladioli, irises, lilies, and coxcombs all around the periphery of my home. Each of these flowers blooms in different seasons. They all bring me great joy. I didn’t plant them just for my enjoyment, but for all those who come near them. 

Nurturing a friendship is a lot like taking care of a flowering plant. When you love a friend, you want them to grow and bloom. You are not planning to consume or use them in any way. You water, fertilize, and weed around them. You support them and encourage them continually. You rejoice when they blossom. You hope others notice and appreciate them too. You want nothing more than for them to reveal their true beauty to the world. 

Fully Present

 "Cease striving...” (Psalm 46:10 NASB)

I know it does me good to exercise, learn new things, and spend some time outdoors. However, in my desire to be efficient, I have been known to run outdoors while listening to a podcast. I create distractions. I give partial attention to my moving body, the nature around me, and the information being presented through my headphones. Instead of taking the time to be fully present during each of these activities, I try to do too many things at once. This diminishes the benefit that I gain from each of these healthy practices.

Society encourages us to maximize productivity. Multitasking and busyness make us feel accomplished. And this feeling of competence and usefulness becomes the idol we pursue. We chase after shiny awards to prop up our sense of self-worth.

 When we strive to do many things at once, we dilute the essential wisdom and goodness that each experience has to offer. Concentrating our full attention on each task brings understanding and appreciation. True engagement requires disengagement. Focus leads to clarity.  

Cease striving. Hush your mind. Turn down the noise. Acknowledge that you cannot be omnipotent, omniscient, or omnipresent. You are not in charge. Submit your thoughts, dreams, plans, and goals to the One who is Sovereign. Be still. Recognize God is near. Everything is holy. Linger in attentive anticipation. Be fully present to each miraculous moment. 

Wellness Checklist

“Dear friend, I hope all is well with you and that you are as healthy in body as you are strong in spirit.” (3 John 2 NLT)

What have you done today to insure your wellness? Are there specific actions that you can take daily to promote health in body and strength in spirit? While there may be individual differences depending on your phase of life and personal predilections, there seem to be a few central themes to physical, mental, social, and spiritual wholeness. 

1. Physical Exercise--intentional movement for a set amount of time with some level of intensity improves bodily function. Walk. Run. Stretch. Dance.

2. Synaptic Leaps--mentally challenging activities enable electrical signals in our brain to leap from one neural synapse to another. Learn something new. Do something creative. Read. Write. Think. Solve. Study. 

3. Extend Yourself--reach out to at least one individual outside your household. If they don’t respond, touch base with another person. When someone attempts to connect with you, be vulnerable and authentic. If this cannot be done in person--send a private message, write a letter, call them on the phone, or use whatever means you have at your disposal. 

4. Spiritual Growth--connect with the Spirit. The soul is intricate and worth deep exploration. God is omniscient, omnipresent, and omnipotent. He created humans to be in relationship with Him.  Pray. Sing. Ask. Listen. Contemplate. Yield. Follow directions.

5. Commune with Nature--spend time outdoors, preferably in solitude. Observe the trees swaying in the wind. Feel the grass under your feet. Ground yourself. Notice the caterpillars on the sidewalk, the cobwebs glistening in the morning light, and the birds calling out to each other. Water your garden. Grow food. Eat it. Nourish your body, mind, and soul.  

Sensory Impressions

“They have mouths but cannot speak, and eyes but cannot see. They have ears but cannot hear, and noses but cannot smell. They have hands but cannot feel and feet but cannot walk, and throats but cannot make a sound.” (Psalm 115:5-7 NLT)

My neighbor, Daniel, lost one of his arms in a farming accident years ago. His missing limb has been replaced by a prosthesis with a hook. His other arm, which he refers to as his ‘good arm’,  is large and muscular.  Daniel has learned to develop his good arm to compensate for the one that he can no longer use. He can now do more with his one good arm than most of us can with two. 

During the pandemic and subsequent period of physical distancing, I have noticed something peculiar.  Some individuals seem to develop new ways of adaptation while others shrivel. Many of us who were dependent on physical proximity, appearance, feedback, body language, social diversions, etc., now feel ill-equipped. While it is true that all these resources were valuable, we can learn to thrive without them.

Humanity has been granted the ability of movement, vision, hearing, smell, and communication. We have idolized and trusted a few of our gifts while allowing others to atrophy. Our skills of connection, imagination, understanding, articulation, and movement can be developed further to compensate and adapt to a new normal. We need to become aware of our emotions and express them transparently. We must learn to use our words to speak, write, and create.  We have to move our bodies--even when no one is watching, sing out loud--even when no one is listening, and reach out to others--even when we cannot touch them. 

The Gift of Words

“Then the LORD reached out and touched my mouth and said, “Look, I have put my words in your mouth!” (Jeremiah 1:9 NLT)

Dogs have more olfactory receptors than humans. Their keen sense of smell allows them to gather information from the scents around them. Dogs can also hear sounds four times farther away than human ears. They can move each ear in different directions and gather more available sound waves. Dogs can also see further than humans because they have a wider angle of view, but since much of what they see is not in focus, they cannot always identify what they see. Since they are not able to talk, dogs communicate with other dogs using body language: positioning of their ears, movement of their tails, leaving their scent as markers, growls, baring their teeth, etc. 

Unlike dogs, humans have the gift of verbal communication. We are able to hear, speak, and understand words. We have developed multiple ways to use language to express ourselves and comprehend each other--talking, writing, and myriad forms of digital communication. 

The ability to constantly receive and convey thoughts through words is unique to humans. However, not all of us have learned to use this gift adequately.  Language is an art that needs to be practiced. Communication is a lot like painting with words. Depending on our medium, we can use various tools and methods to reveal and recognize concepts. Thoughts are shaped during contemplation. Words are selected to fit the correct shade of meaning. Speech allows us to use intonation, volume, and conversational phrases. Writing enables deeper thought and additional time to craft concise sentences. Reading empowers us to learn, digest, and retain information. May we use this precious gift of words fully and wisely. 

Hungry for God

“You never got hungry for me. You continued to ignore me.” (Amos 4:6 MSG)

Every evening I get hungry for chips and cookies. I can keep eating and eating--and still remain unsatisfied. I have tried substituting healthier snacks for my late night cravings, but that has not helped either. The only workaround I have discovered is to ignore the emptiness and go to sleep early. 

I suspect that my late-night eating habit is connected to my emotions. But unpacking all of that is a lot of work, and my energy is drained by the end of the day. Thus, I must ponder this issue when my mind still works. I need to listen to the inner wisdom of the Spirit, ask questions, wait, learn, and take notes. My recurring hunger is a symptom of the emptiness within me that cannot be filled with food alone. I am dependent on God for sustainable sustenance. Nothing less will hit the spot. 

 

The Legacy of Kindness

“He’s already made it plain how to live, what to do,

    what God is looking for in men and women.

It’s quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor,

    be compassionate and loyal in your love,

And don’t take yourself too seriously—

    take God seriously.” (Micah 6:8 MSG)

The last piece of our ancestral homestead in India is being sold right now. The old, empty house had been torn down years ago and there was no one to take care of the land. All the children and grandchildren grew up and moved far away. I am feeling a bit sentimental about this symbolic loss. It has made me think about concepts of legacy. 

Legacy is what we leave behind after we pass on from this earth. We may inherit material possessions, memories, ideals, wisdom, talent--as well as negative things like debt, disgrace, or suffering. Mostly we think of legacy as how we are remembered.  Thus, we try to shine a light on our honorable contributions while concealing our shame. 

What if our gifts to this world go unnoticed? Does this make them less real? I believe that every moment of thoughtfulness, every encouraging word, and every act of kindness can make a difference--whether or not they are recognized or remembered. Each day is an opportunity to spread goodness, decency, fairness, compassion, loyalty, and love. The legacy of kindness is the most precious endowment we can leave on this earth. 

The Price of Nice

 

“There’s no room in my home for hypocrites,

for I can’t stand chronic liars who flatter and deceive.” (Psalm 101:7 TPT)

Buffer zones can be extremely useful in interpersonal relationships. When you meet new people, it is wise to take time to assess how close you want to be. Certain individuals can be trusted to respect your boundaries, while those who are abusive need to be kept at arm's length. Learning to recognize the signs of a breach can also be helpful: 

--Be alert to hypocrisy, chronic lying, flattery, and deception.

--Do not dismiss passive aggressiveness as uncalculated behavior. 

--Check to see if you are constantly making excuses for being disrespected.

The desire to be seen as tolerant and kind is universal. However, the price of always being ‘nice’ can be steep. Unfortunately, there are those who take advantage of others. They seek to bolster their own ego by manipulating and diminishing those who are willing to let them get away with it. People with unclear perimeters need wider buffer zones. They are at higher risk of allowing others to define their identity and behavior. Like immunocompromised patients who are more susceptible to pathogens, ‘nice’ people may benefit from personal protective barriers. They must be extra cautious not to allow untrustworthy individuals into their inner circles. 

Buffer Spaces

“Measure off 3,000 feet outside the town walls in every direction—east, south, west, north—with the town at the center. This area will serve as the larger pastureland for the towns.” (Numbers 35:5 NLT)

My new car came with several driver safety features including an automatic emergency braking system (AEB). The vehicle has built-in radar sensors that continually assess the distance of other objects within its buffer zone. The warning system alerts you when you are too close to a possible collision. If you don’t apply the brakes, the AEB kicks in to stop your car. 

In addition to having clear boundaries, it is wise to maintain wide buffer zones in all areas of life. Living well below your income can allow you to save for emergencies. Allotting extra time for every task helps you to be punctual. Assessing your energy levels and adjusting your plans accordingly can avoid needless headaches. There are times when you may have to stretch beyond your normal parameters, especially during a crisis. This is when having wide margins is useful. But acknowledge that you are now outside the lines of peace and heading toward chaos. Do not mistake this state of imbalance as your new normal. Pay attention to the warning signs. Apply the brakes.

Boundaries

“These are the borders of the land you are getting...” (Numbers 34: 1-2 MSG)

On the edge of our farm ground is a hedgerow of native trees and bushes. It was probably planted a long time ago, before any of us were alive. These hedgerows serve several purposes: They mark the boundaries of a property, they decrease soil erosion from wind, and they provide shelter for small wildlife. Unfortunately, many farmers have chosen to cut down these shelterbelts for economic reasons. Clearing the land of trees allows planting of more crops as well as space for large machinery to move about easily. 

I wonder if there are similar reasons why people willingly pull down their personal boundaries.

For example, I know an elderly woman who used to work as a nurse. She believes that wearing a mask during the COVID 19 pandemic is an important safety measure. She wears her mask diligently when others around her have a mask. She feels sheepish about wearing it when others around her are maskless; so then, she pulls down her mask. 

For some, perimeters are built on principle; for others, boundaries are broken down by the desire to be accepted. Scanty hedges may allow you to create rapport quickly with others. Unfortunately, people also perceive you as lacking self(-)respect--thus, deserving less respect. Hedgerows can make us seem unfriendly and intolerant. But it is better to let people know early how much you are willing to be pushed instead of snapping at them after they have infringed too far. Having clear boundaries helps you to know how to behave under social pressure. It also gives signals to others on how you want to be treated. Boundaries are self-honoring; they protect your soul from erosion.