Boundaries

“These are the borders of the land you are getting...” (Numbers 34: 1-2 MSG)

On the edge of our farm ground is a hedgerow of native trees and bushes. It was probably planted a long time ago, before any of us were alive. These hedgerows serve several purposes: They mark the boundaries of a property, they decrease soil erosion from wind, and they provide shelter for small wildlife. Unfortunately, many farmers have chosen to cut down these shelterbelts for economic reasons. Clearing the land of trees allows planting of more crops as well as space for large machinery to move about easily. 

I wonder if there are similar reasons why people willingly pull down their personal boundaries.

For example, I know an elderly woman who used to work as a nurse. She believes that wearing a mask during the COVID 19 pandemic is an important safety measure. She wears her mask diligently when others around her have a mask. She feels sheepish about wearing it when others around her are maskless; so then, she pulls down her mask. 

For some, perimeters are built on principle; for others, boundaries are broken down by the desire to be accepted. Scanty hedges may allow you to create rapport quickly with others. Unfortunately, people also perceive you as lacking self(-)respect--thus, deserving less respect. Hedgerows can make us seem unfriendly and intolerant. But it is better to let people know early how much you are willing to be pushed instead of snapping at them after they have infringed too far. Having clear boundaries helps you to know how to behave under social pressure. It also gives signals to others on how you want to be treated. Boundaries are self-honoring; they protect your soul from erosion.