Competence

Growth involves undulating between feelings of competence and incompetence. An eighth-grader might feel competent in middle school. Yet, once he moves on to high school, he is back to feeling incompetent in unfamiliar surroundings. The same thing happens between high school and college, adolescence and adulthood, and every shift from one phase of life to another.

Even though height is admired in most cultures, I often notice young people slouching soon after they hit a growth spurt. Some of us, who are resistant to change, are actually trying to avoid feeling inadequate. We would rather stay at the stage where we feel proficient than move on to the next stage.

Young people these days use the phrase ‘lame-out’ to describe one member of their group moving on to a new stage. For example—‘He’s lamed-out since he got a girlfriend. He never wants to just hang out with us guys anymore.’ It is funny how they use the word lame to describe this movement from being adept in the prior phase, to inept in the new stage. It used to be that lame meant an inability to be mobile. Now it seems to connote a weakness that results from change.

Discomfort is natural during transition. The person going through the change feels inadequate. Family members, friends, and coworkers become disconcerted. The temptation to regress is hard to resist.  

How do we push past this discomfort to progress?

Jesus was blunt: “No chance at all if you think you can pull it off by yourself. Every chance in the world if you let God do it.” (Mark 10:27 MSG)