Middle-Age Marriages

Marriage is a lot like a team sport. It takes a lot of hard work, strategy, stamina, and concentration to reach the goal. There is always so much going on—and as the game progresses, the players get exhausted.

Middle-age marriages—after the kids are grown, but still dependent—when aging parents require your attention, when neither your health nor energy is as high as it was in younger years—this period can be especially draining.  

In sports, teams use time-outs to halt the game at strategic points. They use these short breaks to huddle together, discuss strategy, give each other pep talks, and get quick refreshments. In football, time-outs have to be used up during each half—they can’t be accumulated and carried over.

Many of us try to plan vacations as a means of refreshment and restoration. Yet, week-long getaways can be expensive and time-consuming. Not to mention that most of the time, you need a vacation from your vacation when you get back. A week is a long time to leave tasks and responsibilities unattended. Stay-cations (where we stay home and do relaxing things close to home) can be restorative. However, most of us are pulled in by all the responsibilities that are part of our regular life. There are people, pets, housework, bills, and phone calls that need our attention.

A 24-hr time-out can be a good compromise. It allows a couple some restorative time—to huddle together, discuss strategy, give each other pep talks, and get quick refreshments. It’s important to take these time-outs at strategic points in the game, especially when the opposition is strong. This might seem counterintuitive—to take a break when the game is at peak intensity—but this can disrupt the momentum, thus changing the outcome of the game in your favor.