The Second Half

In his book, Falling Upward, Richard Rohr discusses the differences between the first half and second half of one’s life. He writes: “The task of the first half of life is to create a proper container for one’s life and answer the first essential questions: “What makes me significant?” “How can I support myself?” and “Who will go with me?” The task of the second half of life is, quite simply, to find the actual contents that this container was meant to hold and deliver.” He mentions that those who do not complete their first half developmental stages will continue working on these tasks well into their second half.

Most of us, who are past 40 years of age and still dealing with issues of significance, financial security, and relationships, are lagging in our development. We are like 5-year-olds who are still not potty-trained. We should have different priorities and agendas in the second half of life than we did in the first half.

Let’s compare the first half of life to climbing up one side of a mountain and the second half as coming down on the other side. Once you reach the top and enjoy the view for a bit, you have to leave enough time and energy to come down the other side of the mountain. Ascending requires striving and stamina, while descending requires balance, caution, and good knees. The last time I climbed up a mountain, I kept focusing on the peak. How much farther? How come these other climbers are going faster than I am? Am I going to make it to the top? On the way down, my focus changed to the next step. I was not at all concerned about anyone else’s speed. I just kept looking down at my own feet, focusing on keeping my balance and not tumbling down the mountain. 

During the second half of life, we grow more introspective and less competitive. We are no longer embellishing our containers. Instead we are focused on the purpose of these containers—to hold and deliver something beyond our own significance, happiness, or comfort. Our goals have changed. We have already reached the peaks of worldly priorities, and now our focus turns inward to soul transcendence. We are no longer impressed by human accomplishments—which pale in comparison to Omnipotence. We have matured beyond grasping--to gasping.