Burying Self-will

What do baptisms, weddings, and funerals have in common? All three ceremonies commemorate life changes. Baptism symbolizes dedication to God. A wedding is a public declaration of commitment between a couple. A funeral memorializes the transition from this life to the next. All three rituals also represent a relinquishment of self and a commitment to someone/something else.  Unfortunately, many of us just take on these new commitments without giving up much. Parents dedicate their children to God during infant baptism--but only symbolically. Those who are baptized as adults rarely  relinquish their self-will. Married couples still retain their rights as individuals and often make their own choices. Even in death, we leave written wills that direct how our assets should be distributed after our demise.

“Do not let sin control the way you live...Instead, give yourselves completely to God, for you were dead, but now you have new life. (Romans 6:12-13 NLT)

Self-will (sin) is what separates us from God. The result is a gradual degeneration (death). Burying our self-will leads to growth and regeneration (new life).  

Every commitment requires a renouncement. Just as we resign from an old job before we start a new job, we have to surrender our old life before we can start our new one. Abdication of our self-will is necessary before we can devote ourselves to God.

Hesitant to Follow

The prophet Isaiah overheard God’s call and volunteered to be the messenger.

God asked, “Whom shall I send, Who will go for us?”

Isaiah responded: “I’ll go. Send me.” (Isaiah 6:8 MSG)

When God asks for volunteers, many of us hear the call--but most of us are hesitant to step forward. WHY?

We are reluctant to volunteer for projects that seem like lost causes. We want to make a difference. Isaiah was sent out to be a messenger to people who wouldn’t pay attention. Yet, he followed through on his commitment, even though it felt like his efforts were wasted.

There might also be other, personal reasons for our hesitancy. Some of us are held back by fear. Some don’t want to give up the autonomy and comfort of their current routines.

There isn’t much point in analyzing what kind of ropes  are restraining us--we just need to be freed from them. We can ask God to snip these ropes that are holding us back--to release us from any hesitancy to follow Him.

Unfamiliar Routes

Travel only broadens the mind of the open-minded. For some, travel merely confirms their preconceived ideas. There are plenty of us who visit the sights, come back with pictures and souvenirs, and yet remain unchanged in our ideologies and beliefs. Many of us are eager to travel the world, yet unwilling to explore the depths of our minds. Any experience in which we gain new insights can broaden us.  

Have you ever been startled by God? Have you ever asked God for an answer and gotten something totally unexpected? Most of us either dismiss these experiences as weird or conform them to our preconceived notions. However, if we travel down these unfamiliar routes with open minds and hearts, we might gain valuable insights that change us completely.

Unfamiliar experiences can be transformational only if we are perceptive and receptive. Everyday encounters with the unexpected can be enlightening if we are willing to learn and explore. God wants to be our traveling companion, to take us into uncharted territories, to show us aspects of ourselves that are beyond consciousness.

Side Projects

Most dedicated employees devote all their working hours to their employers. However, many employees have personal businesses they run on the side. They may work as consultants or have home-based businesses.  Often, these employees use work time and resources to further their own agenda.

We often operate under the assumption that we have a right to ourselves--our time,  our lives, our plans, and our passions. We seek out employers who will allow us to pursue our dreams. Sin--separation from God---is caused by our desire to pursue our own agenda instead of completely devoting ourselves to God’s will. We want a God who will make our lives easier, who will look the other way, who will bless our side projects and not demand too much from us for HIS business.  Many of us see this as a legitimate way to live--having God work for us instead of the other way around. So we see no real need for forgiveness.

Once we realize our iniquity, we can accept the forgiveness that is freely given by a God who is full of mercy and grace. We can no longer stand to dishonor God by continuing our old practices. We acknowledge that our life rightfully belongs to God and must be dedicated to His Purpose.

Spiritual Insecurity

“Anxiety is a mark of spiritual insecurity.” (Thomas Merton)

Anxiety stems from a lack of confidence in God’s love and care. When I am anxious, I am essentially saying:

God, I’m not sure you want the best for me or for my loved ones. I don’t trust your intentions or your plans. Your timing is off. You are not dependable. Maybe worldly solutions are better than waiting for You to act.

As I type these words out, I sense the fallacy in them. Fear and anxiety are based on erroneous beliefs; They come from faithlessness in a faithful God.

When we are driven by fear and anxiety, we are being influenced by lies.

The alternative is to operate from Truth:

God, I am sure You desire the highest good for all. Your timing is perfect, even though I don’t understand it. You have shown that you are dependable. Your solutions are always better than any worldly human strategies. I trust you.

Representatives

About a year ago, a Culver’s restaurant in Platteville, Wisconsin (near Madison), burned down. The insurance company paid the employees’ salaries for up to 60 days, but it took over six months to rebuild the restaurant. After the insurance company payments ran out, the owner of the restaurant paid the employees out of his own pocket (roughly $180,000 for 40 employees) for the next four months. He only asked one thing in return: that those who were able, would volunteer their time for community service. Many of the employees put on their Culver’s uniforms and did a variety of community service projects while the restaurant was being rebuilt.

This story is uplifting on so many levels. The owner’s generosity and care for his employees is heartwarming. The employees who put on their uniforms to do community service are inspiring. I think this is a good example of how God’s grace works. Grace cannot be earned, but it can be spread. When we claim to be followers of Christ, it’s like wearing a uniform with a logo--we are representing something bigger than ourselves. How we conduct ourselves affects not only our own reputation, but also that of the One we represent.

My daily behavior does not always represent Christ. Mostly it reflects my flawed self. This needs to change, yet I cannot do it on my own. I pray that the Grace that dwells in me, works through me.

"My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9 NLT)

Acknowledge and Return

The majority of the books I read are from the library. The library label on the cover is a constant reminder that they are not my own.  I am careful to take care of these books while I use them. I conscientiously return them to the library on time. When someone asks me what I am reading, I will tell them the title and that it is from the library. This way, they are made aware that they, too, have free access to these books.

Worship is acknowledging that everything we have is from God and  conscientiously returning everything back to God.

"Worship is giving God the best that He has given you. Be careful what you do with the best you have. Whenever you get a blessing from God, give it back to Him as a love-gift. Take time to meditate before God and offer the blessing back to Him in a deliberate act of Worship...It must be given back to Him so that He can make it a blessing to others." (My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers, January 6th)

For example, if you have been given a day of health, then acknowledge that it is from God and give it back to Him so that He can make it a blessing to others. Today you may have been given the blessing of a bit of extra time, energy, money, opportunity, knowledge, power, talent, understanding, comfort, or peace.  Acknowledge and return every blessing to the Source so that it may be useful to the multitudes.

Pure Goodness

I believe that most people are good at their cores. When we are born, we are like brand new cell phones. In a few years, we will have been dropped several times and clogged up by apps that slow down our performance. Many of us have been polluted by impure motives, egotism, fear, competitiveness, avarice, desires, abuse, pride, defiance, immorality, materialism, negligence, indifference, irreverence, apathy, intolerance...

Can we be restored and refurbished to our original factory settings?

I believe that most of us can be repaired. Most of us can get back to the goodness for which we were designed. We can’t reset ourselves. We need a Redeemer who can restore us to our intended purpose.

Complacency

I’m pretty good at exercising. I’ve read a lot of fitness books and watched a lot of videos. I do different kinds of exercises daily.  If a new fitness fad comes along, I will check it out--just to keep up with new trends. I’m not saying I know it all, but I know everything I want to know about it. Overall, fitness is one of those areas about which I feel confident...maybe even smug.

We all have areas of perceived expertise. Maybe you are a master gardener or chef, or a whiz at finances or technology, or a talented artist, or an expert in your field of work. You are ready to accept new information, as long as it fits in with your pre-existing ideas. If some amateur tries to instruct you about this topic, you smile patiently while trying not to roll your eyes at them. It’s like the one room in your house that you wouldn’t need to consult an interior designer about, because it is already decorated to your satisfaction. Unfortunately, confidence in our mastery can mutate into complacency. We decide we don’t need any external input in this area, not even from God.

“Fools are destroyed by their own complacency.” (Proverbs 1:32 NLT)

What are the areas of your life into which you rarely invite God--the zones of complacency where you rarely feel needy? Don’t be complacent; take nothing for granted. Remind yourself that every blessing is from God, including your competence in certain areas. Consult God, invite Him in.

“For the Lord grants wisdom!” (Proverbs 2:6 NLT)

Self-Entrapment

“If a bird sees a trap being set, it knows to stay away. But these people set an ambush for themselves.” (Proverbs 1:17-18 NLT)

I am not sure if birds are really smart enough to respond to traps by staying away, but I have noticed humans who are dumb enough to fall into self-created traps. We often dig ourselves into holes as a result of poor choices. We associate with toxic people while neglecting those who make us whole. Materialism drives us into the slavery of debt. We fall into addictive behaviors. We ignore our health. We take everyday blessings for granted.

Most of us are smart enough to quit falling into these traps once we realize our dumb patterns of behavior. Unfortunately, we often ignore our instincts and fail to learn from previous mistakes. Most of the time, we cannot even bring ourselves to admit that we had anything to do with these blunders. We place all the blame on circumstances or on other people.

Every aberration benefits from an autopsy, and we need to be our own pathologists. Whenever things don’t turn out according to expectations, we need to take some time to do a postmortem analysis of the situation. What went wrong and why? What can we do differently in the future to avoid the same mistake?  Once we learn to discern traps, we can give them a wide berth. We are less likely to dig ourselves into holes. We become aware and alert to the tell-tale signs of a snare and stay away. We avoid self-entrapment.

“To make no mistakes is not in the power of man; but from their errors and mistakes the wise and good learn wisdom for the future.” (Plutarch)

Grow into It

When my son was younger, I used to buy him clothes that were a few sizes too big for him. I would just save them until he grew to that size. Now, I do the same thing with information. I recommend books and send him links to websites that contain wisdom for which he is not yet ready.

When I find anything that inspires me, I am tempted to pass it along to others--even when I know that they might be at a different stage of life. I am also eager to share the lessons I have learned and the mistakes I have made.

Here are a few things I wish someone had told me when I was younger:

True value is often hidden deep within. It is difficult to measure and, thus, often unrecognized by the world.

The pursuit of pleasure, ambition, prestige, amusement, or wealth does not necessarily lead to a meaningful life.

Love brings sorrow as well as joy.  Adversity can bring growth as well as pain.

Use your intuition. Learn to distinguish between sincere and insincere people. Invest in authenticity. Do not spend your limited  time or energy on counterfeit truths.

I realize I might not have been ready for these lessons back then. Yet, maybe if I had had some clue of what to expect, I would have recognized the common traps before I fell into them. I would have felt less alone, knowing I was not the only one who made these dumb mistakes.  

I appreciate people who share their experiences with me, who prepare me for what is to come. I may not be able to use this information right now, but I hope to grow into it.

IN

During my life, I have gone through cycles--of cynicism and hope--of thinking that nothing really matters--to thoughts that everything is interconnected and thus meaningful.  Lately, I have had the sense that the things that truly matter can be condensed into a few concepts.

Understanding and intimacy with God is more than a destination, experience, or knowledge. It is a state of being.

This concept is really difficult for me to explain (make plain)--but I’m going to try...

Think about the difference between  knowing about love, health, peace, and contentment vs. being IN love, health, peace, and contentment. The latter suggests inclusion from within, a transition from external knowledge to internal communion, an intrinsic transformation. I feel the urge to express this--to In-clude others In--perhaps because interior renewal is more sustainable when those around you are also in a similar state of being. When you are in love, you wish the other to be in love too. Health, peace, goodness, contentment--all are easier to maintain when others around you are immersed in these values.

This is my hope: To be In Christ....for others around me to also be In Christ.

Make it Plain

One of the best hikes I’ve ever been on was with my husband in Lanikai, Hawaii. We drove to the exact spot that the guide book directed us to, but even after searching and walking back and forth in front of it, it took us a long time to find the trailhead. Even after we found the entry point, we weren’t sure we were on the right track. But as we hiked up higher, the trail became more distinguishable from the rest of the untrodden foliage and brush on either side. This didn’t make the climb any easier, but it became plainer.

'Prepare the way for the LORD's coming! Clear the road for him! (Luke 3:4 NLT)

The path of faith is not effortless.  We tend to oversimplify the process so that it may be accessible to the masses.  Clearing the way to God doesn’t mean that we will be able to build an elevator up to Him. We cannot make the way easier, but we can make it plainer. We can point out the trailhead; we can ex-plain the reason for  the journey; we can encourage each other as we climb.

Seeing Stars

Cartoon characters always seem to ‘see stars’ when they bump their heads. Although I’ve never literally experienced this phenomenon, I have noticed that trauma allows us to see things that we would otherwise miss.

When we are surrounded by darkness, stars become evident. But even in darkness, we have to get away from artificial city lights, AND we have to look up--or we will miss the stars.

The ‘Three Wise Men’ who came seeking the newborn Jesus proclaimed:

“We saw his star as it rose, and we have come to worship him.” (Matthew 2:2 NLT)

Why were these men able to discern the significance of this bright star when others couldn’t?

Truth is evident to those who pay attention. However, most of us are too occupied with man-made ambitions and activities to notice it. Sometimes, darkness helps us see the light.

May we look up, recognize, and worship the brightness of Christ’s light that is evident in the darkness.

Unclogging

(Acts Study)

“You will be ever hearing but never understanding;

you will be ever seeing but never perceiving.”

For this people’s heart has become calloused;

they hardly hear with their ears,

and they have closed their eyes.

Otherwise they might see with their eyes,

hear with their ears,

understand with their hearts

and turn, and I would heal them.” (Acts 28: 26-27 NIV)

These verses from Isaiah 6:10 are repeated several times in the New Testament (Matt 13:5, Mark 4:12, John 12:40).

When I read these verses, I think of the following images: heart vessels hardened with cholesterol and plaque, ears clogged with wax, blurred vision from substance abuse--all of which prevent us from functioning properly. Similarly, our spirits can get clogged and dysfunctional from our daily choices. When worldly concerns restrict the flow of the Holy Spirit, our understanding is impaired and our perception is skewed. If we desire to be healed and whole, all blockages have to be cleared. We have to be completely open.

I read the following in Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary: “Christians, when tempted from their main business, should bring themselves back with this question, What does this concern the Lord Jesus? What tendency has it to bring us to him, and to keep us walking in him?”

First of all, this reminds us that our main business is God’s business. (Sometimes we treat this as a side business.) It’s easy to clog up our purpose with distractions. The question: “How does this concern the Lord?”--can clear the passageway.

Open our eyes, ears, and hearts--so that we may perceive You, Lord--and You may heal us.

Reason

According to Dallas Willard, reason is the mental power to trace out connections in reality. The reasonable person is the one who is devoted to truth, and to finding it and living in it by all available means. (http://www.dwillard.org/resources/WillardWords.asp)

For example, let’s say you have a friend or relative who starts making you uneasy. You can’t pinpoint what it is that makes you uncomfortable--just this nagging sense that something feels ‘off’ about the situation. If you like this person and have invested time and energy into this relationship--you will be reluctant to accept these intuitions.

Most of us have our minds made up about certain things. We develop tunnel vision. We ignore signs that our beliefs need updating. When we cannot or will not accept the correlation between certain behaviors or events, we are being unreasonable.

Reason is the ability to recognize signs of Truth. It allows us to make connections. It prevents us from ignoring symptoms of malignancy, false beliefs, and corruption. When a decision we have made turns out to be wrong, when a job for which we relocated ends up being unsuitable, when a friend we trusted betrays us--it is difficult to accept that our judgment was off. Reason enables us to operate under the influence of Truth, even when it is uncomfortable.

Word

“In the beginning the Word already existed.

The Word was with God,

and the Word was God.

He existed in the beginning with God.

God created everything through him,

and nothing was created except through him.

The Word gave life to everything that was created,

and his life brought light to everyone.

The light shines in the darkness,

and the darkness can never extinguish it.”

(John 1:1-5 NLT)

Although this passage is familiar to most Christians, it is still enigmatic. The use of the common ‘Word’ makes it generic and ambiguous. In order to delve into this passage, it might be better if we use the original Greek version of the word: Logos.

Logos (Greek): expression of a thought, analogy, divine communication, message, promise, reasoning expressed by words, wisdom.

Dabar (Hebrew): word, expression, commandment, order.

Words are orderly expressions of thoughts. They shed light and bring understanding. They enable communication and thus communion. Without words--there is just chaos, darkness, confusion, disconnection, and unawareness.  Substituting these concepts in the above verses helps us understand this passage a little better.

Marriage Maintenance

I’ve been observing and learning from couples who have been married for two or more decades. Some of these relationships are like lush tropical gardens--growing, flourishing--adding beauty and value to their surroundings. Others resemble long-term prison sentences--they seem miserable, and their discontent spills over to everyone around them.

A healthy marriage requires constant maintenance and abundant Grace. I haven’t found any universal formulas or tips that work for every marriage. But a few key behaviors seem to be present in many good marriages:

-Practice authenticity and honesty--no lying, no faking, no acting, no drama--not to yourself, your spouse, or the rest of the world.  

-Express Respect--mutual respect and self-respect are absolutely essential. Having respect for your spouse and yourself is only the first step. Showing respect (honor) consistently through your words, choices, and actions is just as crucial. 

-Stay engaged--communicate with words, actions, and body. Express your love and admiration frequently and spontaneously. However, when you do need to convey anger, frustration, disappointment, or disapproval--pick the time and place carefully, and do it calmly and fairly. Listen. Pay attention to your spouse--to the spoken and the unspoken.

-Agree on what is important--Reevaluate what is valuable at every new stage of life.

-Don’t get too comfortable or take each other for granted--When you have been married for a long time, it’s easy to fall into the rut of the companionship zone. It’s nice to have a spouse who is also your best friend, but not at the expense of passion. It’s better to cultivate platonic relationships outside of your marriage and stoke the romantic intensity in your marriage.

-Live together--This seems obvious, but many couples end up living separate lives under the same roof. They share expenses and responsibilities--but not each other.  

-Forgive--There will be so many opportunities for forgiving inadequacies and mistakes--both your spouse’s and your own.

-Rely on Divine Grace--Don’t attempt to keep a marriage maintained properly on your own. The anointing of Grace prevents the constant friction from wearing you down.

Ready for Light

I’m one of those people who crave light. I like to keep all the window shades open and turn on every light in the house. But there are times when I prefer low lighting. Recently, I went to a party and hadn’t colored my grey hair. I was thankful that the lights weren’t too bright--it made me feel less self-conscious.

“Light exposes the true character of everything because light makes everything easy to see. That's why it says: "Wake up, sleeper! Rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you." (Ephesians 5:13-14 GWT)

Not everyone appreciates light. It exposes flaws and unmasks self-deception. Most of us are content with living on the surface. We don’t want to think or look at things too deeply. Many of us stay comatose; some of us sleep-walk through our entire lives. We become like zombies, merely following the motions of other zombies. Only those who are shaken awake from their unconscious existence welcome the light.

Light induces awakening. Thus, when you are ready to wake up, light is received gladly. You no longer want to stay in darkness. You gradually move from unconsciousness to consciousness. Something stirs within us; we leave the comfort of our familiar beds; we stretch; we become more alert, active, and aware. We open ourselves to the light.

“The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned.” (Isaiah 9:2 NIV)

Backstage

When I was younger, I enjoyed being a part of our school theatrical productions. Kids would get dressed up in costumes and act out their roles; the audience of relatives would watch the performance attentively and applaud enthusiastically. Meanwhile, there would be a lot of things happening backstage to make the whole production function.

I like to think of the Spiritual Realm as what happens backstage during a play. We can sense what goes on in this visible world. What is happening backstage is imperceivable, yet, it is integral.

“We look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” (2 Cor. 4:18 NIV)

Unfortunately, many of us  focus  only on what is perceptible. We often fail to acknowledge the level of organization and coordination that is happening in the spiritual realm. The stuff of this world--the roles we play, the props we use, the costumes we wear, the lines we say--all are fleeting. Whereas all that is happening just behind the curtain is enduring.

Messy Candles

I bought some LED candles recently. They are battery powered, so they are safer and less messy than real candles. The LED candles are mostly for decoration though. I use wax candles every morning during prayer time. I have a small collection of candle holders of various shapes, sizes, and textures. I place the same kind of candle in each of them, but they each emit light in different ways. The real candles are messy--they melt unevenly and stick to the candle holder; their wicks need trimming; the smoke leaves black streaks on surfaces. If left unattended, they can be a fire hazard.

“You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world.” (Matthew 5:15 MSG)

I want to bring light to the world, but I don’t like all the messy melting and burning that is involved. Most days, I  would rather be like these modern, decorative, LED candles--no mess, no fuss, no fire.

Yet, God continually reminds me that I must be a real candle--burning with fire that requires attention, melting and sticking to my surroundings, bringing warmth as well as light, and releasing my aroma as I shrink to nothingness.  

Small Steps

Clarity is elusive. Certainty is rare. Although it is tempting to remain stagnant when we are unsure of our path, we must take small steps. Or else we can get mired in self-doubt, confusion, and aimlessness.

 

The kind of small steps we take, the direction in which we go, and our pace are all highly individual. Here are a few examples of the small steps that I take when I am unsure of how to proceed:

-Praying (This includes thanksgiving, trust, and meditating on Scripture)

-Taking care of self (basic hygiene, nutrition, rest, exercise, grooming)

-Caring for dependents (This includes anyone who relies on me--my child, my husband, my dog, my friends, even my plants)

-Working toward small, reachable goals.

Uncertainty saps confidence. Even small accomplishments can reverse this downward spiral. In my late 20’s, I had very little control over certain aspects of my life, but I still had control of my body. I was not athletic--when attempting to jog in my neighborhood, I couldn’t even run from one lamp post to the next without getting winded. So that became my goal. Once I was able to run the space of one lamp post, I aimed for higher and higher mileage goals. It took me 17 years to reach my goal of running a half-marathon. Running didn’t solve my issues, but accomplishing small goals strengthened me physically and mentally.

During times of uncertainty, our natural tendency is to focus on the chaos and disorder--on what is out of our control, on what can’t be changed, on our powerlessness. This leads to despondency and stagnation. If your life is in turmoil, don’t sink into despair. Take small steps out of the mess. When in darkness, even the tiniest spark of light can be tranformational.