Gossip

“A gossip goes around telling secrets, but those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence.” (Proverbs 11:13 NLT)

Gossip is frowned upon in Christian circles--but it still happens. It is often camouflaged as prayer requests, concern for others, sharing in love, and lessons learned from other people’s experiences. Those who are transparent about their own issues often feel it’s ok to share what they have heard. People have different privacy boundaries. Perhaps you would freely share your medical issues with everyone, but another person might not. Or maybe you would talk about your relational problems, parenting struggles, finances, addictions, etc., but the person who is dealing with it might be more private.

Maintaining confidences among a group of friends, relatives, co-workers, neighbors, or church members can be a complicated dance. You have to pretend you don’t know things you might know. Sometimes you may have to change the subject. Instead of appearing trustworthy,  you may seem dishonest, uncaring, or unaware.

There are times when secrets can be harmful--especially in  cases of abuse or criminal behavior. In these cases, the appropriate individuals must be notified to avoid more harm to all those involved. In all other situations, it is better to not share information about others unless you have their permission to do so. If you have to talk about weaknesses, reveal your own, not that of others.  

“Be loyal to those who are not present. In doing so, you build the trust of those who are present.” (Stephen Covey)