Finding Your Lane

“Never again shape your lives by the desires that you followed when you didn’t know better.” (1 Peter 1:14-15 TPT)

I started running for my mental health. For the first few decades, I ran solo--my only goal was to be in nature for about half an hour and to push myself a bit beyond my comfort zone. Years later, as I started running with groups, my ambitions changed. I conquered longer distances and got faster. I heard about the Boston Marathon. Only the fastest runners in each age group can ‘BQ’--qualify for the Boston Marathon by running another official marathon. I knew several friends in my running group who had accomplished this feat. They were all encouraging and supportive. I did not like to disappoint people. I considered training for a BQ attempt but decided against it. I realized this was not a race I wanted to be in. There were parts of running that were personally uplifting to me--developing endurance, consistency, physical toughness, mental health, friendships. Other parts about running were less rewarding--competition, crowds, injury, exhaustion. I had a choice to make: follow the popular trajectory or run on my own terms. 

“She silently stepped out of the race she never wanted to be in, found her own lane, and proceeded to win.” (Anonymous)

There are many ‘races’ in my life that I need to reconsider: the desire to be seen as normal, the desires for approval and appeasement. I would like to silently step out of these paths and find my own lane. This is a solo endeavor requiring thoughtful choices. I can’t just follow others who have already figured things out. Mistakes are inevitable. Goals are redefined. Each step in the right direction is a win--on my own terms, at my own pace, with no audience or applause.