Truth Telling

“They say to those gifted with discernment and insight:

    “Stop with your visions. We’ve had enough of them.”

They say to the prophets, “Tell us only what we’d like to hear;

    save your truth-telling pessimism for someone else.

We want to hear flattery.” (Isaiah 30:10 VOICE)

A recent article by Maria Shriver made a profound impression on me. In it she writes about moving forward with intention, purpose, and accountability. She asks herself the following question:   

“Am I surrounded by people I admire who will give me sound advice? Do I actually have people around me who will help me, tell me the truth, and who will guide me forward in these uncertain times? Do I have a circle of accountability partners, and do I check in with them often enough?” (Maria Shriver)

 

This question gave me pause. I have supportive family members and many wonderful friends. We are kind, respectful, and encouraging to each other. Our relationships are based on positive and fun interactions. We rarely call each other out on anything, unless a person explicitly asks us to do so. We prefer to skirt around sensitive issues and differences of opinions. I am not fond of saying anything that creates tension. I won’t lie to flatter anyone, but I also refrain from speaking truth that might be hurtful. Thus, I have very few accountability partners.

 

Accountability and truth-telling feels pessimistic and divisive. It is just as hard to speak unpleasant truth as it is to receive it.  How can we cultivate relationships with those who are willing to speak and listen to truth? First, we must surround ourselves with insightful people who are willing to have uncomfortable conversations. When they say things we do not want to hear, we have to listen without being defensive. Similarly, when it is our turn to be the truth-tellers, we have to muster up the moral courage to speak up. This takes honesty and consistency. Accountability partners have to check in with each other often. We have to openly discuss sensitive topics while still remaining respectful. Most of all, the relationship must be saturated in love, acceptance, and forgiveness.