Responsive Behavior

“Though they understand, they will not respond.” (Proverbs 29:19 NIV)

What is the difference between reacting and responding? 

I do not like it when my dog jumps up on me. I know he is being playful, but he is large enough to make me lose my balance. Whenever he jumps, I immediately tell him to ‘get off’ in a loud voice. The instinctive emotion I feel is the reaction. Expressing my feelings out loud is not an adequate response. I have to turn my body and stop interacting with him. If I play along and allow my dog to jump on me--it does not matter what I say, how often I say it, or how loud my voice is. My dog has been with me long enough to understand what I want,  but he does not respond to mere words. My responsive behavior is what makes the difference. 

I have noticed similar patterns in my interactions with other humans. When someone says or does something obtrusive, I feel manipulated. It messes with my sense of agency and balance. Verbally expressing my emotions rarely seems to make a difference. Though the others may understand how I want to be treated, they continue their default behavior. Their response reveals their lack of respect. What happens next is up to me. Do I just keep repeating the words I have already spoken in different ways? Do I continue to play along and participate in these power games? Or, do I turn away and stop engaging with those who continue to disrespect boundaries? My responsive behavior is what makes the difference.