Distraction Management

The subject of Time Management comes up frequently in our household. My husband works rotating shifts. My son is homeschooled, but attends outside classes 3 days a week. I have a plethora of little projects that I juggle. We each have different schedules, a different pace, and different times of the day when we are most alert. Most days, I feel like I’m managing a three-ring circus.

The other day, I was helping my son organize his school schedule. We were talking about how he could better manage his time to accomplish all that he wanted to do in a day. He said something that caught my attention: “I have trouble managing all the distractions.”

I have the same problem. I know how to manage my time; it’s the distractions I have trouble managing! I’ll be cooking dinner and my smartphone tells me I have an email or text. I pause to check and make sure it’s not something important. My laptop lures me with unending recipes at my fingertips. The TV tempts with new and different ways to cook healthily, exercise efficiently, and all the latest news. I find all this information interesting, so I have to call a friend or talk to my husband before I forget about it. I walk into another room of my house to find my husband and get distracted by the dust that needs to be cleaned, a mirror that reminds me that my grey hair needs attention, coffee cups that need washing, library books that need to be returned, dog hair that needs to be swept up…This in turn gives me an idea of something I want to write about. I pause to type a few sentences before I forget. My husband walks by the kitchen and says: “Is something burning on the stove?” Oops!

“Time is a talent given us by God, and it is misspent and lost when not employed according to his design. If we have lost our time heretofore, we must double our diligence for the future.” (Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary)

Ain’t that the truth!

I have misspent and lost my time. I haven’t always employed it according to God’s design. How can I double my diligence for the future?

I need to manage the distractions. Like a whip-wielding circus ringmaster, I have to figure out a way to keep the beasts from taking over the show.

Respect

My husband and I were discussing the factors involved in making a marriage work. We agreed that love, communication, a sense of humor, compatibility, trust, and similar priorities—all contribute to a healthy marriage. However, if we had to pick one key trait that has helped our relationship, it would be RESPECT.

We both have plenty of flaws and we talk about them frequently. We disagree on many issues. We have had some major trials in the last 22 years of marriage. Yet, we rarely shout, say mean things, or bring up past mistakes during heated discussions. Mutual respect allows us to listen to the other person’s input and be considerate of each other’s feelings.

Mutual respect is a key ingredient in any relationship. When I feel disrespected by a friend, the relationship is distorted until we sort out the discrepancy. I might unintentionally say something that is perceived as disrespectful by a friend. Once the other person lets me know how she feels, I’m quick to apologize. I’m also upfront with others about my trigger issues—things that make me feel disrespected. One area that I’m still working on is respecting other people’s boundaries when they are different from mine.

^“Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another.” (Eph. 5:21 MSG)

When we show respect for others, we are doing so out of reverence for Christ. Some people may not deserve respect. I often find it very difficult to recognize God in certain people, especially if they have made harmful choices. When I mentioned this to my wise friend DH, she said something profound: “When we are respectful of others, it is not necessarily because we see Christ in them, but because we recognize Christ within us!”

“May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O LORD…” (Ps. 19:14 NLT)

Notes about God

I was reading a sermon by Philip Gulley this morning. In it, he talks about how careful one has to be when using God-language.

“When we speak about mystery and awe and suffering and wonder, all of these slippery things that are hard to grab hold of, when we speak of those things we must choose our words very carefully, very thoughtfully, very precisely. Lest we attribute to God motives and actions that do not belong to God.” ('On Spiritual Awareness'—Grace Talks, by Philip Gulley)

When I write about God, I struggle to find the words to express my thoughts. Every analogy seems shallow and one-dimensional. Sometimes I feel like I shouldn’t even attempt to explain something so incomprehensible. But I have to…

“If your heart were right, then every created thing would be a mirror of life, and a book of sacred doctrine. There is no creature so small and worthless that it does not show forth the goodness of God.” (from The Imitation of Christ by Thomas á Kempis)

My husband recently asked me, “Do you look at every situation as material for writing?” 

It’s more like I look at every situation as a lesson that God uses to teach me something. And if I jot down some notes, I will be able to process it and retain it better. This blog, and all my other writing, are just my ‘thinking notes.’ Yet, because I share it with others, I have to pick my words carefully, thoughtfully, and precisely. Or else, I may inadvertently misrepresent God. This makes me hesitate to share my notes with others. However, I know that many others are not in a phase of life in which they can spend time chewing on spiritual truths. So, even if I can only draw stick-figure representations, I do it…mostly for myself. It’s embarrassing to share my imperfect thoughts with others, but I do it in the hope that it helps others as it does me.

The First Step

“Wake up from your sleep, Climb out of your coffins; Christ will show you the light! So watch your step. Use your head. Make the most of every chance you get. These are desperate times! Don’t live carelessly, unthinkingly. Make sure you understand what the Master wants.” (Eph. 5:11-17 MSG)

The first step is to wake up! Open your eyes and shake off your grogginess. Become aware. Climb out from a state of dormancy. We have to take the initiative for that first step—to turn towards God, become aware of Him, and to seek His will. Then, Christ will turn on the light and show you where to place your next step. Then it is your move again. Stretch. Don’t climb back into bed and pull the covers over yourselves again. Be alert, making the most of every opportunity that God presents before you. Don’t just plod on carelessly, following the crowd. God has specific assignments and schedules for each of us to follow.

I have a difficult time discerning between divine inspiration and my own impatience. In my fear of making a move based on my own instincts to just do something, I tend to freeze up and do nothing.

Recently, I read about the difference between the legal standards in a criminal case vs. a civil lawsuit. In a criminal case, the prosecutors have to prove their case ‘beyond a reasonable doubt.’ However, in a civil lawsuit, decisions are made based on a ‘preponderance of evidence’—the standard is met if the proposition is more likely to be true than not true.

 

When waiting for God’s guidance, I find it better to make each step based on careful prayer, reflection, and a preponderance of evidence. If the chances are more likely than not that God wants you to move in a certain direction, then go ahead and take the initiative. As long as you are continuously centered in prayer, God will keep guiding you. Sometimes, even after much prayer, I have made decisions that seem misguided in hindsight. Yet, God has used these occasions as detours to redirect me in different ways. As long as we are listening and obeying, before long, God will set us back on the right path.

Under the Influence

"Watch out! Don't let your hearts be dulled by carousing and drunkenness, and by the worries of this life. Don't let that day catch you unaware. (Luke 21:34 NLT)

Can I get drunk on worry?

When a person is drunk, his senses are dulled. This lack of alertness can put him and others in danger. When we are under the influence of worry, the same thing happens. Our focus shifts, and we are no longer aware of the big picture. We become absorbed by our problems and become numb to everything else. We can become so obsessed with worrying that we lose balance in our lives.

Anything that numbs our senses and makes us unaware of our surroundings...anything that blinds us to God’s presence all around us, leads us to a similar state of drunkenness. When we are under the influence of greed, ambition, lust, fear, hate, guilt, bitterness, pride, self-absorption, or attachment to worldly pleasures, we become unconscious of God. We walk around unsteady, stupefied, tripping into traps of evil.

“If our Message is obscure to anyone, it’s not because we’re holding back in any way. No, it’s because these other people are looking or going the wrong way and refuse to give it serious attention. All they have eyes for is the fashionable god of darkness. They think he can give them what they want, and that they won’t have to bother believing a Truth they can’t see. They’re stone-blind to the dayspring brightness of the Message that shines with Christ, who gives us the best picture of God we’ll ever get.” (2 Cor. 3-4 MSG)

It’s time to get sober, to untangle ourselves from these habits that numb us to the truth. I pray that we may always operate under the influence of God.

Meddling

When I see a problem, I want to help. Most of the time, I have no clue on how to fix the situation. Yet, I go ahead and meddle.

If a surgeon were doing major surgery on someone I cared about, I would probably be trying to get my hands in there trying to ‘help’. Or at the very least, I’d feel compelled to offer suggestions and maybe a few reminders on how the surgeon could be more efficient. Fortunately, they have a policy against friends and family in the operating room, or else, I would have probably killed a few people by now. 

One of my favorite Gospel stories is that of the paraplegic man who was lowered through the roof by his friends (Luke 5:17-26). They had faith that Jesus could heal their friend. The only problem was getting him close enough to Jesus who was inside a house surrounded by people. So the friends carried the man up to the roof and lowered him down, right in front of Jesus. The Lord is “impressed by their bold belief” (Luke 5:18-20 MSG) and heals the paraplegic.

These friends knew exactly how far to ‘help’. They were bold enough and pushy enough to go through a stranger’s roof and crash a party. But once they were sure that their friend was in front of Jesus, they stood back and waited. Not one of them tried to scale down a rope into the house and offer to be an assistant healer to Jesus. They trusted Jesus to take care of the situation.

 

When I’m faced with a difficult problem that is beyond my ability to solve, I have to do whatever it takes to get it to Jesus. Once the situation is laid right in front of the Lord, I have to stand back and let Him do his work without meddling or offering helpful suggestions and reminders.

Background Noise

In our home, while we eat our meals, my husband and son like to have either the radio or TV on. They call it background music, but I find it distracting. It prevents us from focusing on each other. It interferes with our communion.

Similarly, our daily life is filled with background noise that hinders our communion with God. We get up in the morning. We eat, drink, urinate, defecate, bathe, work, cook, clean, pay bills, do paperwork, take care of ourselves and others, shop, consume, suffer, rejoice, cry, laugh, relax, sleep, and then get up the next morning and start the whole cycle again. The constant busyness of life consumes us, leaving very little for God.

How can we turn the volume down on these daily concerns so that we can focus on God?

To be honest, I don’t know…yet. Here are a few things I’ve tried:

Uni-tasking—this is my made up word for doing one thing at a time. It’s the opposite of multi-tasking. I’ve realized that doing each task mindfully helps me focus better.

Meditation—I take time to still my mind and contemplate on God. Through trial and error I’ve found what works and what doesn’t work for me.

The Bible—God speaks to me through scripture. I will read until I find something that tugs at me. Then I stop and ask the Holy Spirit to teach me.

Music—I used to listen to music as I did other things, while cooking, running, driving, or cleaning. This made the activity less tedious. Now, as I listen to music, I pay attention. I try not to do anything else. I’m expecting God to reach out to me.

Books—Great Christian writers have always been my spiritual mentors. Reading clarifies my thoughts, creates order within the chaos of my mind.

Solitude—I have to get away from people, technology, and productivity for a period so as to make time and space to be alone with God.

Writing—I jot down thoughts as they come. Sometimes these notes free me from focusing on my to-do lists. Sometimes as I write down random thoughts, I see how they are connected.

Prayer—I simply talk and listen to God.

My daily activities and concerns still occupy the majority of my time and energy. However, I am able to turn the noise level down just for a little while these days. I cherish these quiet moments of peace with my Lord.

Waiting Room

My ex-dentist had a waiting room that drove me nuts. The TV would always be blaring on a day-time show that was discussing something inappropriate. There would always be some kids playing on a video-game system connected to a second TV. And there was a little refrigerator stocked with sugary drinks in a corner. Why anyone would need that much distraction while waiting is beyond me! I’ve noticed that most waiting rooms have a lot of noise. Most people feel the need to be entertained while they are waiting.  I try to take my own reading material and writing implements when I know I will have to wait somewhere. I must admit it’s difficult to concentrate in public places because of all the noise.

I imagine that this earthly life is merely a waiting room before our appointment with God.

“With God, one day is as good as a thousand years, a thousand years as a day. God isn’t late with his promise as some measure lateness. He is restraining himself on account of you, holding back the End because he doesn’t want anyone lost. He’s giving everyone space and time to change.” (2 Peter 3:8-9 MSG)

Instead of looking for distractions and entertainment, we can choose to use our waiting time to contemplate, to change, and to grow closer to God. Contemplation and study are essential to self-awareness as well as awareness of God. The deeper we dig into our interior, the closer we get to sensing that God controls everything. This leads to a metamorphosis from the inside out—a slow, imperceptible change—that sometimes takes decades. We imagine that we are waiting on God. However, God is waiting patiently for us to change, to draw closer.

Write, Pray, Trust

Several years ago, I worked in a clinical laboratory. My favorite lab tests were the ‘send-out tests’. These were the tests that we were not equipped to do in our lab. They had to be mailed out to a specialty lab. All I had to do was package them up for mailing, wait a week or so, and then record the results on the computer when they came back. Package, wait, and record; it was that simple!

Almost every week, some crisis comes up in my life which I’m not equipped to deal with. Unfortunately, my first instinct is to try to figure out a solution by myself. When that doesn’t work, then I ask God, “What should I do?”

“If you see that the job is too big for you, that it’s something only God can do, and you trust him to do it—you could never do it for yourself no matter how hard and long you worked—well, that trusting-him-to-do-it is what gets you set right with God, by God.” (Romans 4:4-5 MSG)

When I am faced with a trial that I’m not equipped to handle, I need to send it to God. All I have to do is package it in prayer, wait in complete trust, and write about the results for others to see. Pray, trust, and write; it’s that simple!

The Gap

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.” (Proverbs 3:5 NLT)

This is a hard lesson to implement. I rely heavily on my intellect, my gut feelings, and my heart. I usually decide that whatever I feel in my gut is probably from God, or in other words, I trust my instincts. When I decide to let go of this habit and rely on God, I feel like I’m suspended between two cliffs. I haven’t quite made it to the opposite side of complete trust in God, and I haven’t completely let go of relying on my own understanding either. I’m hanging perilously in the gap.

Sometimes I’m not even sure whether I’m being controlled by fear or by trust in God. When I’m guarded about making a major decision, am I waiting on God or just hesitating due to fear?

Fear torments. Trust doesn’t. Fear condemns. Trust doesn’t.

How can I tell the difference between rational thinking and trusting God? Are they mutually exclusive? I don’t think so. I think, most of the time, the Holy Spirit works inside us, gently kneading the truth, like yeast into bread.

Below are the lyrics to one of my favorite songs about trusting God

 

Trusting You—song by Al Denson
Lord, I'm tired of hiding
Lost in all these tears
Trying to carry all this pain alone
I've been as strong as I can be
But only you can rescue me
Now I'm stepping out in faith
To fall into your sweet embrace

I'm trusting You
I'm trusting You
I'm trusting You alone

Jesus I surrender
Take me to your heart
Fill this emptiness inside of me
It's your love and nothing less
That will heal my pain and brokenness
All I have, Lord, all I am
I place my life into your hands

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus' blood and righteousness
I dare not trust the sweetest frame
But wholly lean on Jesus' name
On Christ the solid rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
All other ground is sinking sand
I'm trusting You, I'm trusting You
I'm trusting You alone

Melancholy

Although the words melancholy and depression are often used interchangeably, I think of them differently. Melancholy is a feeling of despondency. The soul is downcast, pensive, and thoughtful. Depression, on the other hand, is a prolonged clinical illness which requires treatment. When I write about sadness, melancholy, inertia, and moodiness, it shouldn’t be confused with clinical depression. So, with that disclaimer out of the way…

I’ve always liked the following verse from Philippians:

“It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.” (Phil. 4:7 MSG)

Unfortunately, the only thing that displaces worry in my heart is a new worry. I tend to get agitated whenever I can’t solve a problem immediately. Worry and anxiety are my biggest barriers against intimacy with God.

“I entreat you, give no place to despondency. This is a dangerous temptation–a refined, not a gross temptation of the adversary. Melancholy contracts and withers the heart, and renders it unfit to receive the impressions of grace. It magnifies and gives a false coloring to objects, and thus renders your burdens too heavy to bear. God’s designs regarding you, and His methods of bringing about these designs, are infinitely wise.” (Madame Guyon)

Melancholy magnifies your burdens. Prayer and praise magnify God!

I frequently struggle with melancholy. The more I think about my problems, the deeper I sink into the pit of despondency and listlessness. The burden becomes heavier. I ache all over. I get worn-out under the constant pressure.

However, when I meditate on God, my heart and mind are lifted from the pit. When I consider His suffering and sacrificial death, when I acknowledge His greatness, it raises my spirit. When I think about His power, His love, His wisdom, then I am peaceful.  

I shall not enlarge my burdens; instead, my soul shall magnify the Lord!

God is My Pace-setter

(Originally written for Bible Study)

“God does not respond to what we do; we respond to what God does. We’ve finally figured it out. Our lives get in step with God and all others by letting him set the pace, not by proudly or anxiously trying to run the parade.” (Romans 3:27-28 MSG)

This verse reminded me of tandem biking. I’ve never ridden a tandem bike. I can barely ride a regular bike! I’ve heard that even people like me, with minimal biking skills, can ride a tandem bike as long as I follow some basic rules. Of course, I would need to let someone with more experience be the ‘Captain’—the rider in the front. I would have to be the ‘Stoker’, the rider in the back. The captain steers, balances, and calls out bumps and turns. He sets the pace. The stoker responds to the captain’s cues. The stoker pedals when the captain pedals, coasts when the captain coasts, shifts to one side or the other as the captain turns. There is constant verbal and nonverbal communication between the captain and the stoker. They have to be tuned in to each other. The stoker must not try to steer. Since he can’t see ahead, he has to completely rely on the captain for guidance.

 

God is our Captain. He is our pacesetter. He steers, balances, turns. He can see far ahead. We are the stokers—we provide our energy to this endeavor. We respond to God’s pace. We pay attention to His cues.

I found the following version of Psalm 23 online. It is from a Japanese translation.

The Lord is my Pace-setter, I shall not rush;
He makes me stop and rest for quiet intervals,
He provides me with images of stillness, which restore my serenity,
He leads me in the ways of efficiency through calmness of mind,
And His guidance is peace.
Even though I have a great many things to accomplish each day,
I will not fret, for His presence is here,
His timelessness, His all-importance, will keep me in balance,
He prepares refreshment and renewal in the midst of my activity,
By anointing my mind with His oils of tranquility.
My cup of joyous energy overflows,
Surely harmony and effectiveness shall be the fruits of my hours,
For I shall walk in the pace of my Lord and dwell in His house for ever.

A Dissipated Life

“There, undisciplined and dissipated, he wasted everything he had.” (Luke 15:12-16 MSG)

A life squandered is one of the saddest things to watch. Sometimes a person is given more than his fair share of resources, talents, and opportunities. If this individual chooses to waste this largess on dissolute pleasures, then all he ends up with is a dissipated life. I have watched this happen to several people. I pray my life doesn’t end up like this.

 

In my attempt to avoid a similar path, I’ve been trying to figure out what causes some lives to be frittered away.

One common trait that these people share is delusional thinking. A delusion is defined as a false belief about oneself or other people that persists despite its being at variance with the facts. This self-deception leads to a denial that one’s choices and actions are directly related to the destruction that follows in their wake.

This reminds me of when my son was 2 years old and still in diapers. When we would get that tell-tale whiff of a stinky diaper, we would ask teasingly: “Did somebody poopy?” My toddler would look around, his brows furrowed in an expression of confusion mixed with concentration, and then announce, “Dada poopy!” I’m pretty sure my baby wanted to believe this, despite the evidence to the contrary.

This sort of imaginative, false beliefs can be funny coming from a toddler. However, in an adult, this delusional way of thinking can be quite destructive. When a grown-up cannot recognize that he has created a mess, when he holds someone or something else responsible for the consequences of his actions, he is likely to cause recurrent damage.

Other traits that are common in profligates are a lack of self-control, a sense of entitlement, immaturity, and irresponsibility. They also tend to be self-absorbed, self-indulgent, and intemperate. Substance abuse seems to be a prevalent problem, perhaps because it bolsters their delusions and allows them to wallow in their alternate reality.

 

Now that I’ve rummaged through this muck, what can I learn from this? How can I avoid squandering what I have been blessed with? I shall try to cultivate self-control, discipline and altruism. I must guard against egocentrism. I have to ask wise friends to correct me when I inadvertently get off-track. I will try to be receptive to criticism and swiftly make corrections. I need divine guidance to be able to distinguish between good advice and bad advice. Therefore, I shall pray for discernment, good judgment, and clarity of purpose.

Be My VaLENTine

Valentine’s Day is sort of an anniversary for my husband and me. 26 years ago, on a Valentine’s Day, we started dating. It took us months to grow close enough to each other before we were able to say the words, “I love you”.

I read somewhere that Lent is the time when God seduces you and Easter is when He says, ‘I love you’. I mentioned this to my husband yesterday, and he said that was a bizarre quote! I agree. Yet, I sense a nugget of truth in there somewhere.

Let’s say that we have a devoted friend who has always been by our side. This friend knows everything about us, has been pursuing us, and has sacrificed everything for us. Yet, we are oblivious to this person’s feelings and take him/her for granted. Jesus is this friend. He loves us. Yet, we ignore Him.

I do think the season of Lent can be a time where we notice that God is ‘courting’ us. He wants us to draw closer, to get to know Him, to grow in our love for Him. God’s been pursuing us forever, yet we have been too occupied with other things to notice. Lent allows us time to detach from our preoccupations and instead be occupied by God.

When we are dating someone, everything else tends to get blurry. We become so captivated by this other person that we become detached from anything that doesn’t directly relate to this relationship. All we can think about is the next time we get to be with this person. What am I going to say? What will he say? Will he find me attractive? What can I do to make him happy?

 

God is pure, sacrificial love. He has already made the grandest gesture. Good Friday and Easter are the anniversaries of these expressions of love. May this be a season where we notice God’s intense, persistent passion for us.

The Lord's Problem

People living in medieval times had a better understanding of the words Lord and King. A Lord owned the land and everything on it, while the tenants merely worked the land. A Lord was responsible for defending his domain. Although the tenants were expected to do their daily work, the responsibility, the ownership, the weight of the kingdom, was not their burden to bear. That was the Lord’s problem.

Jesus is my Lord and King. He owns everything. He is responsible for me and every person I care about. He is in charge of everything and everybody, and I am not. I have to tend the little plot that I am assigned. I have to be a loyal subject and be ready to do whatever my Lord asks. That’s it.

Lord, sometimes I feel bad for you. You have so many responsibilities, so many burdens to bear. We are a difficult, messy bunch of subjects for you to take care of. Oh, and I hear rumors of impending attacks. You sure have a lot of problems to deal with! It’s a good thing You are omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent. I’m glad I don’t have to worry about any of these things.

Giving, Not Getting

I’ve been trying to figure out the elements of a good marriage. I know some couples who have been married for a long time and still seem to love, respect, and accept each other. After the first few decades of marriage, the giddiness may have worn off. Yet, if you observe these couples, you notice that they are kind to each other in their words and actions. There is a willingness to put the other person's welfare above individual agenda.

More often, I see long-term marriages that are steeped in resentment. These couples tend to tolerate each other at best. They may stay together for various reasons—kids, finances, convenience, societal pressure—or, they might decide to split up. The resentment builds up over the years as one party decides that he/she is sacrificing more than the other person is willing to give. 

“Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting.” (Ephesians 5:25-28 MSG)

What if every husband and wife focused more on giving than getting? What if we expected to invest more in the other person than we got back from him/her? What if our relationship were more about mutual sacrifice and less about personal welfare?

Most of us approach relationships like an investment. Somewhere in the back of our minds, there is often a cost-benefit analysis going on. We are willing to contribute as long as there is promise of future returns. This is an unhealthy paradigm for marriage. Christ showed us a much better example—a love based on giving, not getting. This is really difficult. It may feel like we are somehow being taken advantage of—that the relationship is one-sided. It might very well be. Yet, this sacrificial love, this yielding, is what we are called to do.

(None of the above applies for abusive relationships)

Sudden Changes

(Originally written for Bible study)

“God is kind, but he’s not soft. In kindness he takes us firmly by the hand and leads us into a radical life-change.” (Romans 2:3-4 MSG)

“In the end you get what’s coming to you—Real Life for those who work on God’s side, but to those who insist on getting their own way and take the path of least resistance, Fire!” (Romans 2:5-8MSG)

God is kind and firm. His way leads to a radical life-change. Our way—usually the path of least resistance—leads to calamity.

I’ve always hated roller-coasters and other amusement park rides that spin me around. Why anyone would find that sensation exhilarating is beyond me.  I come out of those rides feeling nauseated and unbalanced.

Over my life, the Lord has led me kindly, but firmly, into radical changes. It has always been uncomfortable and disorienting. It feels like I’ve just been spun around really quickly. I’m really unsteady and woozy after this, so I have to hold on to the Lord even more tightly than usual.

Lord, I don’t like to be spun around. Yet I know that what I like is not always good for me in the long run. I’m sure YOU know best. The changes YOU make to my trajectory prevent real dangers. Help me to hold on tightly to you, just as YOU hold on tightly to me.

My Favorite Uncle

Both my parents come from huge families. I have a total of 26 uncles and aunts. Yet, there is one that has influenced me more than all the others. He started with very little. When he was 18, he left his village to live in a big city, far away from home. He learned to type and got a clerical job. Along the way, he got married and raised 2 kids. Even at 60, he is still one of the most energetic and inspiring people I know.

The character traits that I admire the most in him are his faith and discipline. He is unapologetic about his faith. He will break for family prayers even if there is a crowd of people at his house. And we aren’t talking about a 30-second, pre-meal grace. Evening prayer at his house usually goes on for 10-15 minutes, and it always concludes with singing together! 

I, on the other hand, feel very uncomfortable with PDF (public displays of faith). Although my faith is very important to me, I’m a bit embarrassed to admit it. I’m a closet Christian. I have a penchant for crosses. My mp3 is filled with Christian songs. I usually have several Bibles open on my desk and chair. I love using my rosary as a meditation tool. (I don’t actually say the prescribed rosary prayers. I just like to pass the beads through my fingers while repeating a scripture verse or the name of Jesus). Yet, only a few close people know this side of me. When we have guests, I clean up. I put away anything that might peg me as a holy roller. I put away the Bibles, the rosaries, and pretend the crosses are just part of my décor. We say a quick 10-second grace before meals at home. I sneak prayers at restaurants before meals while smiling at the waitress. Even this blog is written under a pseudonym.

My uncle is also known for his self-discipline. He eats healthily and exercises regularly. He sticks to a budget and lives well within his means. He thinks and plans carefully before making any decision. He makes responsible choices. He takes care of his family. He doesn’t have a college degree, but he loves learning. It’s amazing to see how far he has come with the limited opportunities and resources he had as a child. I try to emulate his discipline. Whenever I feel like slacking, I think of him…working out on his elliptical while watching the news after a full day’s work at the local factory. Or when I feel like indulging in decadent foods, I remember his lectures on the importance of fiber.

In his letter to the Colossians, Paul made the connection between faith and discipline.

“I am delighted to hear of the careful and orderly ways you conduct your affairs, and impressed with the solid substance of your faith in Christ.” (Colossians 2:5 MSG)

I know plenty of people who have one of these traits but not the other. My uncle has both. I think that discipline has given structure to his faith, thus making it stronger. I hope to learn by his example of steadfastness, perseverance, and uncompromising faith. 

Instrument of Praise

Psalm 150 directs everyone to praise God with musical instruments. I don’t play any instruments. I can use words, but that’s about it.

I have a friend who praises God through her pain and suffering. This is her instrument. She is battling cancer. She doesn’t use a lot of words to describe what she’s going through or about how God is working in her life. She simply lives a life of praise. She responds to difficult circumstances with acceptance, grace, and trust. Her attitude of joy, in the midst of suffering, surpasses all human logic. I have learned so much from watching her.

I asked her what her secret was. She said:

“I don’t know. I get up every morning and say, Lord, thank you for this day. Let me know what you want me to do today.”

What I’ve observed from her life is this unwavering trust, dependence, and reliance on God. She has accepted that she is not in control, but that God is. The difference between her faith and mine is…the difference between Mt. Everest and a pimple. I say I trust in God, but then I try to rely on my own intellect or resources to fix things. I talk and write about faith, while she lives, breathes, moves in FAITH.

I never thought that pain could be an instrument of praise. Yet, the melody that comes through her suffering has influenced and inspired me more than any other. Her attitude is, in itself, an act of worship. I watch and listen while she plays her life-song unto the Lord.

“O God. God, you’ve done it all! Who is quite like you? You, who made me stare trouble in the face, Turn me around; Now let me look life in the face. I’ve been to the bottom; Bring me up, streaming with honors; turn to me, be tender to me, And I’ll take up the lute and thank you to the tune of your faithfulness, God. I’ll make music for you on a harp, Holy One of Israel. When I open up in song to you, I let out lungsful of praise, my rescued life a song.” (Psalm 71:17-24 MSG)

Closed Doors

“Then the LORD closed the door behind them.” (Genesis 7:16 NLT)

Recently, I’ve had to experience several closed doors in my life. Some options and opportunities are no longer open to me. I don’t have access to certain areas. I can’t influence some people or change certain circumstances. Certain paths have been blocked off. I don’t like closed doors. I feel the urge to keep knocking, keep pushing. Yet, I know there is value to these closed doors.

The Lord sometimes closes doors to bring us clarity. When certain options are blocked off, it helps us to narrow down our choices. If a certain job opportunity is no longer available, we know we need to move on to something else. If we are rejected repeatedly for a promotion, or keep failing to enter a particular educational program, maybe we are meant to do something else. Throughout our lives, doors will open and close between our relatives, friends, and co-workers. As we age, physical and mental limitations prevent us from pursuing options that were open to us when we were younger. When we have small children or any dependents, our choices are severely restricted. As life’s seasons and circumstances change, doors close and others open. Acceptance of these limited options brings clarity.

How can we make sure that it is the LORD that is closing the door? What if we shut ourselves in because of fear or pride? What if we are just reluctant to knock at doors that are meant to be opened?

Lord, I don’t know which doors are closed by you and which ones are not. Yet I know if I stay tuned in to You at all times, trusting You completely, then You will lead me.

 

Enjoyment

My dog brings me joy. She greets us with such enthusiasm. Most dogs just wag their tails, but our dog wags her whole body. She always likes to be face-to-face with humans. Unless we get down to her level, she will reach up to our level, so she can look us in the eye. She tries to please us by sitting still at our feet when we are reading, obeying our commands, and fetching us things we ask her to bring to us. She is not really good at fetching. She will bring something close to us, but drop it a few feet away and then come running to us the rest of the way. She also expects us to fetch toys for her that roll under the furniture; she cries, looks up at us, and we get up from where we are sitting and retrieve her toy for her. Almost every time she approaches us, she expects something from us: a treat, some attention, a hug, a toy, or to be taken outside. Yet, we still delight in her.

“For the Lord delights in his people.” (Ps. 149:4 NLT)

The Lord delights in us, even in our feeble attempts to please Him. When we sit by his side listening, when we pray, when we sing, when we try to serve, He rejoices. When a dog fetches a slipper and brings it to its master’s feet, it brings a smile to his face. The master can easily get his own slipper, but the dog’s attempt to please brings joy. When a child tries to help his mom sweep the floor, it brings her joy, even if the child doesn’t know how to sweep properly. In the same way, God rejoices at our attempts to be close to Him, to please Him. It is true that most of the time we approach Him, we want something from Him. Yet God doesn’t hold this against us. We can do nothing for Him that He can’t do by himself.  When we cry to Him, when we look up at Him, He meets our needs and wants. Why He would get pleasure from this one-way giving is beyond me. Yet, the Lord enjoys us, delights in us.

Hallelujah!

I was reading through Psalm 148 which is about all of creation praising God.  Hallelujah!
Praise God from heaven,
praise him from the mountaintops;
Praise him, all you his angels,
praise him, all you his warriors,
Praise him, sun and moon,
praise him, you morning stars;
Praise him, high heaven,
praise him, heavenly rain clouds;
Praise, oh let them praise the name of God—
he spoke the word, and there they were! (Ps. 148:1-5 MSG)

The first word in this Psalm is Hallelujah. I’ve grown up with this word, but I’ve never really thought about what it meant. I looked it up:

Hallelujah—from Hebrew-- hallalu-yah "praise Jehovah," --from hillel "he praised," of imitative origin, with primary sense being "to trill." Second element is yah, shortened form of Yahweh, name of God. (www.dictionary.com)

Hallelujah--to trill, vibrate, quaver in response to God.

How can trees, animals, snow, and ice praise God? They just exist; they don’t have thoughts or words. Yet they fulfill the purpose for which God created them, and thus magnify the Lord.

As humans, our potential for praise is exponentially greater than everything else in creation. We were created for higher thinking. We are given the ability to form thoughts and words. We are able to glorify God through our actions. We are able to appreciate and vibrate in response to God.

What is the purpose of a magnifying glass? It allows the viewer to see something more clearly. Our purpose is to magnify the Lord, to allow others to look through us and see God’s glory.

“My soul ·praises [exalts; glorifies; magnifies] the Lord” (Luke 1:46 EXB)

Fixation

My dog can become fixated on food. If you show her a treat, she won’t take her eyes off of it. She’ll do pretty much anything you ask her to do: come, stay, sit, rollover. However, if she is outside, she gets distracted by rabbits and other animals. She tends to fixate on the closest scent.

I tend to fixate on my immediate problems. I obsess, worry, and sweat over whatever issue I’m dealing with, while ignoring the fact that God is in charge.

“Fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it.” (Romans 12:2 MSG)

“Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever.” (Hebrews 12:2 MSG)

Both Hebrews 12:2 and Romans 12:2 have the same message. Fixate on God. Don’t let your immediate concerns distract you. Never lose sight of where you are headed. Be willing to put up with suffering, humiliation, whatever.

Oh God, I’m already distracted…I wonder what kind of pain you have planned for me. How long will it last? Is there any other way? I can’t help it. I’m fixated on the suffering. I’ve already lost sight of YOU…

I feel like a kid who is about to get an injection. I’m focused on the needle. I’m wondering how much it will hurt. I can’t think past this pain to the purpose of the vaccine or medicine. Instead I want to be more like a grown woman who is going through labor, willing to go through pain to bring forth life.

Focus on Jesus. Breathe…

Spring shall come

“He spreads snow like a white fleece, he scatters frost like ashes, He broadcasts hail like birdseed—who can survive his winter? Then he gives the command and it all melts; he breathes on winter—suddenly it’s spring!” (Ps. 147:12-18 MSG)

My thermometer says it is -3 degrees Fahrenheit outside. Snow covers everything. The trees are bare and the grass is brown. I can’t even hear any birds chirping. I’m glad this isn’t my first winter.  Even though it is hard to imagine that things will get better, I know spring shall come. For months, I will have to endure. Yet one day I shall see little bumps on the tree branches. Then my heart shall quicken. Even though the frost may kill these early buds, I know it is just a matter of time. I shall not despair at the false starts. I have seen the seasons change.

I have lived through many seasons of trial and spiritual dryness. The suffering always seems to last forever.  Each time I have allowed myself to become discouraged and despondent.  I pray for it to end, but God in his wisdom has a prescribed time for each season. Meanwhile, He is our shelter during the howling winds and frigid temperatures. We have a choice whether we enter into Him or we stand outside in the cold.

Then the first signs of change appear. There shall be many false starts, many frosts that kill the early buds of hope. Yet we know that this too shall pass. The same God that sheltered us during the dark cold months will bring light and warmth.