Respect

My husband and I were discussing the factors involved in making a marriage work. We agreed that love, communication, a sense of humor, compatibility, trust, and similar priorities—all contribute to a healthy marriage. However, if we had to pick one key trait that has helped our relationship, it would be RESPECT.

We both have plenty of flaws and we talk about them frequently. We disagree on many issues. We have had some major trials in the last 22 years of marriage. Yet, we rarely shout, say mean things, or bring up past mistakes during heated discussions. Mutual respect allows us to listen to the other person’s input and be considerate of each other’s feelings.

Mutual respect is a key ingredient in any relationship. When I feel disrespected by a friend, the relationship is distorted until we sort out the discrepancy. I might unintentionally say something that is perceived as disrespectful by a friend. Once the other person lets me know how she feels, I’m quick to apologize. I’m also upfront with others about my trigger issues—things that make me feel disrespected. One area that I’m still working on is respecting other people’s boundaries when they are different from mine.

^“Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another.” (Eph. 5:21 MSG)

When we show respect for others, we are doing so out of reverence for Christ. Some people may not deserve respect. I often find it very difficult to recognize God in certain people, especially if they have made harmful choices. When I mentioned this to my wise friend DH, she said something profound: “When we are respectful of others, it is not necessarily because we see Christ in them, but because we recognize Christ within us!”

“May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O LORD…” (Ps. 19:14 NLT)