Focusing on the Positives

A Complaint Free World, by Will Bowen, challenges readers to go for 21 days in a row without complaining, criticizing, or gossiping. His definition of complaining is broad—it includes any expression of discontent. If you say: “It’s raining,” and you are discontent about that fact—then it’s complaining. I doubt I’m going to get through a single day of not expressing discontent! Oh darn, I’ve just expressed discontent by typing that statement! I have become aware of how much more I fixate on negative experiences than on positive ones.

I don’t want to pretend that injustice and pain don’t exist in this world. Yet, griping about problems without coming up with solutions is unproductive. For example: “It’s probably going to rain today, and I’m going to get soaked,” is an unproductive negative statement. However, “It’s probably going to rain today, so I’m taking my umbrella,” is still negative, but with a productive countermeasure.

What if there isn’t a workable remedy to the negative situation? Is there value in just venting and making others aware of a problem?

As I write this, I’m thinking of a friend who is going through a really rough patch right now. I think her venting is very healthy—without it, she might implode and self-destruct. However, I have a relative who is a chronic complainer. Almost every sentence that comes out of her mouth is negative or a preamble to criticism. She imagines that her griping is productive—that it keeps everyone from falling into disaster; but none of us have that much power or influence over circumstances. 

I would like to switch my focus to the blessings all around me and let everything else get blurry. This is very difficult. My eyes are naturally drawn in to the imperfections in every situation. I have to take my mind off of autofocus and manually focus on the positives. This is going to take a great deal of conscious, intentional effort!