Transitions

“Put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life...” (Ephesians 4:22 ESV)

“When we go to school we make a passage from life in the family to life in the larger community.  When we get married we make a passage from a life with many options to a life committed to one person. When we retire we make a passage from a life of clearly defined work to a life asking for new creativity and wisdom.  Each of these passages is a death leading to new life. (Henri Nouwen, Bread for the Journey)

Transitions are difficult because many of us are not ready to give up our old ways of life. When we move from one place to another, we still cling to old friends and pine for our favorite haunts. When we get married or have children, we are reluctant to give up our independence and embrace our new responsibilities. Even after we retire, we remind ourselves and others of our old professional identities of past productivity and significance.

Those of us who have had horrible experiences are more eager to move on. But most of us pick and choose what we like from our old lives and try to incorporate it into our new lives. When we keep one foot in each phase, we cannot commit to growth. Occasionally, a crisis thrusts us out, closing the door completely on our former life. These forced transitions can be devastating. It’s best to allow some time for adjustments between phases. Some people are able to move on quickly, while others need more time. Trying to push a loved one through a passage when they are scared or reluctant is next to impossible. Each of us has to move forward according to our own internal pace.

Eventually, we all die to our old selves. We bury our past. God’s grace transforms us. We emerge from the tomb when we are ready. We embrace our new life.