Denial

“Everyone who makes a practice of doing evil, addicted to denial and illusion, hates God-light and won't come near it, fearing a painful exposure.” (John 3:20 MSG)

When I was in college, I bought myself a leather miniskirt. It was perfect for late-night events, and I felt fabulous in it. Over the next decade, I graduated from college, started a career, got married, and had a kid. I also gained and lost 50 pounds.  With all the changes in my life, I had to replace most of my clothes. But, I couldn’t part with the leather skirt. Every so often, I would try it on. It sorta, kinda fit. (I couldn’t snap the top button, but if I wore a long, loose blouse with it, no one would notice.) Plus, who knew? I might need it someday in the future if leather miniskirts came back in style. There was a part of me that knew I was in denial. Even so, I kept it. It stayed on the top shelf of my closet, covered in dust, for about fifteen years. Then one day, as I was cleaning out my closet, I tried the skirt on and looked at myself in a full-length mirror under a bright light. It was time to get real: I was no longer the same person as I was in college. I had grown. My lifestyle had changed. I did not go to places where leather miniskirts were appropriate. The skirt no longer fit either my body or my life. It had to go. I packed it up and took it to Goodwill before I changed my mind.

It is difficult to let go of what was once true but is no longer. When we refuse to recognize or acknowledge that things have changed, when we continue to hang on to relationships that no longer fit, or attempt to belong to social groups that are meaningless--we are in denial. When we cling to old habits that are unproductive just because they are familiar and comfortable, we are just deluding ourselves. It is a good idea to periodically assess your beliefs and see if they are still appropriate. Letting go is always painful, but sometimes necessary. Getting rid of that which no longer fits allows you to make space for new relationships, attitudes, and behavior that can enhance your life.

Lord, may we evaluate ourselves under Your light, relinquish our addiction to denial and illusion, and embrace new truths as You make them evident.