On this day, thirty years ago, my husband and I got married. Like any other couple, we have had our highs and lows. But God, in His infinite wisdom, graced us with wonderful mentors along the way. I would like to share some of the lessons that they shared with us over the last three decades:
Love Unconditionally
Engage (Not disengage) daily, throughout the day.
Give each other space, but don’t be distant
Forgive
Address inequities calmly and clearly
Avoid living separate lives
Invest in each other’s growth
Be honest
Be kind
Make more deposits than withdrawals into the marriage
Find what helps you grow closer--do more of it. Find what draws you apart--do less of it.
Don’t tug at the frayed edges
Be faithful physically and emotionally
Communicate feelings, not just to-do lists. Be direct.
Listen fully. Make the other person feel seen, heard, and understood.
Commit, then recommit
Work on common goals and priorities. (Make sure they are not just one person’s goals that the other person is just going along with)
Watch out for addictions
It’s okay to disagree with each other. It’s not okay to disrespect each other.
Admit when you are wrong. Apologize sincerely.
Empower your spouse to grow into the best person they can be.
Do not diminish each other
Accept your partner for who they are.
Show gratitude
Avoid power struggles and mind games
Look at things from your partner’s point of view
Take turns playing second-fiddle
Do random acts of service when no one is watching.
Tell each other why you like each other
Take nothing for granted
I love this list so much. Everything you listed is real. Many lessons in this list refer to how we should also treat mankind.
ReplyDeleteHappy Anniversary to you both. May the next 30 be even more insightful and draw you even closer for better or worse.
Thank you for being one of our mentor friends
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