Adjusting Expectations

“For in this unbelieving world you will experience trouble and sorrows, but you must be courageous, for I have conquered the world!” ( John 16:33 TPT)

On winter days, runners know to expect harsh weather. We learn to make necessary adaptations. We put on appropriate winter gear, leaving no skin exposed to frostbite. Ignoring or denying the conditions can cause injury. Thus, we pay extra attention to our surroundings and foot placement--shortening our stride and slowing down our pace. We do not fight the cold or wind or snow, but neither do we withdraw. Persistent runners show up consistently and brave the weather. 

In this world, you will experience trouble and sorrow. Do not be afraid. Learn to make the necessary adaptations. Do not ignore or downplay the harsh conditions. Put on the armor of God, leaving nothing exposed to Evil. Pay attention to your environment and choices. Take small steps and go as slowly as needed. Adjust expectations for progress. Be courageous, but do not indulge in violence. Respond to all trials with Christ-like character. Endure consistently. Press on persistently.

 

Trekking Poles

“With all your heart rely on him to guide you, and he will lead you in every decision you make.” (Proverbs 3:5 TPT)

Long-distance hikers know that trekking poles can take stress off your joints when climbing and descending. To a novice on a short jaunt, these poles may seem cumbersome and unnecessary. Why would a healthy person need these extra crutches?  Trekking poles can provide stability to a hiker who knows how to lean into them properly. This takes practice on various terrains. These poles can be multipurpose tools on rugged trails. People use them to maintain balance, keep a steady pace, scare away wild animals, test the depth of water crossings, and negotiate all manner of obstacles. 

Leaning on God seems unnecessary and cumbersome when things are going well in your life. However, this is the time to hone your skills. Trust takes time and practice. In order to walk in faith, you must learn to transfer the weight of your concerns unto the Lord. When the climb gets steep, when the slope feels slippery, when obstacles block your path, dependence on God becomes crucial. Keep a firm grip on Him. Rely on Him to guide you, and He will lead you in every decision you make. 

Comfortable Projects

“Break up your hard soil, because it’s time to seek the Eternal.” (Hosea 10:12 VOICE)

On a Saturday morning, I was running through the neighborhood as I do every day. During winter, there are very few people outdoors. There was a dusting of snow overnight. It was sunny and the snow would most likely melt by the afternoon. Thus, I was surprised at how many neighbors were out clearing their driveways. I hadn’t seen this level of eagerness when we had storms that dumped several feet of snow. Why? Because it is hard to shovel unplowed, packed, heavy snow. That day the snow was light and easy to remove. It was a weekend, and there was not much else going on. The weather was nice for a winter day. Clearing a driveway under these conditions was a relatively easy project, and it made people feel useful.

Most of us are eager to do comfortable work that gives immediate satisfaction. However, we are reluctant to tackle frustrating, long-term tasks that bring no recognition or pleasure. We put off difficult conversations, ignore harmful habits, overlook complex issues, and defer unpleasant duties. Why? Because it is hard. Whatever we do is likely to end up feeling unsatisfactory. Thus, we look around and pick something else to do that brings immediate gratification and a sense of usefulness. Unless we break up the hard soil, unless we tackle the uncomfortable parts of our lives, we miss out on that which has eternal value. 

The Luxury of Solitude

“Whenever you pray, go into your innermost chamber and be alone with Father God.” (Matthew 6:6 TPT)

Open concept floor plans have been popular for a few decades. Homes with few walls allow family and friends to be in separate areas and still be able to socialize. Yet, there are a few downsides to living spaces with few walls or doors. There can be a lack of privacy and quiet. It is harder to focus in the midst of hubbub. Smaller rooms are more energy efficient and easier to heat in the winter and cool in the summer. Defined spaces can also feel orderly and calming. 

My home has an open concept floor plan. I can be in the kitchen cooking and talk to other family members in the living room. This setup works well for socializing. It wasn’t until recently that I started appreciating rooms with doors. These days, my bedroom is where I go to think. I can still hear sounds from the living room, but visual and social distractions are minimized. I close the door and draw the drapes over the windows. I sit upright in my bed. I breathe in God’s presence. I read scripture when I feel the urge to do so.  I write down whatever comes to me. I pray silently. I thank the Lord for the luxuries of privacy, quiet, and solitude. 

Call Out Goodness

“Fix your thoughts on what is true and good and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely, and dwell on the fine, good things in others.” (Philippians 4:8 TLB)

The Department of Homeland Security uses the slogan ‘If you see something, say something’ to encourage people to report possible terrorist activities to authorities. Unfortunately, what is considered suspicious can be subjective. We tend to notice irregularities in people who are different while ignoring subversive behavior in those who look like us. Although this slogan is problematic, I have found it useful for a completely unintended purpose. 

Here is my modified version: If you see something good, say something.

Most of us are reluctant to call out goodness, especially in strangers. It makes us feel subordinate. Our worth is not diminished by recognizing the wonderful qualities in another. When you see someone behaving nobly, affirm it. When you notice something admirable, acknowledge it. But be sincere. Do not use flattery to curry favor. Instead, uplift virtue even in random strangers. Keep your eyes open for the opportunity to encourage others. It brings joy and empowers goodness.

“Acknowledging someone else’s light doesn’t put mine out. We burn brighter together.” (Bernice King)

Soul Care

“Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.” (3 John 1:2 NIV)

Once a day, I patiently run my fingers through my long hair and gently break up the knots. Afterwards, I apply some oil and braid my hair. Getting the tangles out of my hair is time consuming and frustrating. However, this small act strengthens me in a way that is hard to describe. Deep within me, I feel cared for and cherished.

While pampering and indulging oneself can be enjoyable, the benefits are often superficial and cosmetic. Soul care goes much deeper. It is protective and restorative. It reduces injury and misuse. It heals invisible wounds. It nourishes the inner being.

Good health encompasses the body, mind, and spirit. It extends to relationships, emotions, and purpose. Soul care is vital to a whole and healed life. It is deeply personal. What works for others may not work for you. Noticing what soothes and strengthens your soul requires intention and attention. Decrease habits that drain you; increase practices that are uplifting. Remember to nourish your soul. 

Good Tired

“We can't allow ourselves to get tired of living the right way.” (Galatians 6:9 GWT)

Pandemic fatigue is a term that I hear quite often these days. After months of social limitations, most people feel anxious, hopeless, lonely, and bored. Motivation is lacking. Without social activities, gatherings, outings--we find life to be dull. Mingling, comparing, competing,  acquiring, and displaying were essential to our drive. The fuel that moved us forward is in short supply. We are fed up with the monotony. Devoid of diversions, our life seems pointless. 

This raises the following questions: What makes for a meaningful life? Were our motivations, thus far, worthwhile? Have we been attempting to fill the void with the wrong type of fuel? Like a gasoline engine incorrectly filled with diesel, are we shutting down?

When we live authentically, we can still feel tired--but it is a good kind of tired. Taking steps in the right direction, walking along the path of truth and honor uses up energy, but you won’t burn out. This fatigue is temporary. Do not be discouraged. Pray for renewed strength. Continue to live the right way. 

 

One Step in the Right Direction

“Teach me more about you, how you work and how you move, so that I can walk onward in your truth until everything within me brings honor to your name.” (Psalm 86:11 TPT)

Have you noticed how cleaning a small nook leads to more cleaning? If you clean your bathroom sink, you are more likely to notice that the toilet, tub, and floors also need a good scrubbing. But if you ignore the mess, you can get accustomed to living that way. Disorder becomes your new normal. 

If you are anything like me, you can easily recount all the missteps in each day and forget the rest. This form of self-recrimination can lead to despair. Be honest with yourself. Remind yourself of the good.

Acknowledging wholesome behavior can be motivating. When you take a step in the right direction, record it in some way. If you keep a journal, write down one beneficial thing you did each day. 

One step in the right direction usually leads to more along the same path. One step in the wrong direction also leads to more of the same. Thus, it is better to take one step in the right direction or be still. Ask God for guidance. Pay attention to how He moves. Walk forward in truth and honor. 

 

The Wreck of Hypocrisy

“Instead, shape your lives to become like the Holy One who called you.” (1 Peter 1:15 TPT)

The use of religion to prop up injustice is nothing new. History is littered with examples: holy wars, colonization, slavery, segregation, subjugation of indigenous people, profiteering, exploiting natural resources, political power grabs, violence--all these toxic practices are condoned by many professed Christians. These terrorists attempt to hijack faith for personal gain. Unfortunately, the damage is not limited to those who participate in these disruptions. The wreckage of hypocrisy leads to prolonged stagnation for all Christ followers. 

Every time I witness religious insincerity, I feel like I am stuck in a traffic jam on a highway. I can’t move forward. I try to remind myself of Christ’s teachings. I reassure myself that this is NOT what Christianity represents. When I feel stuck, I will get off the main path. Progress remains slow at first. Gradually, resources come my way through friends, reading, listening, writing, etc. I rarely recognize the significance of these access points at first. I am impatient and I want to move forward quickly. Once I am untangled from the mess, I look back and realize the impact of each of these openings. I am grateful for each of these resources. I apologize for any delays I have caused for others. I pray that my lifestyle is shaped by the Christ I profess to follow. 

 

Word of the Day

“For you, the Eternal’s Word is your happiness. It is your focus—from dusk to dawn.” (Psalm 1:2 VOICE)

Word of the day calendars can be a good way to expand your vocabulary. If you just read something and then go about your day, you are not likely to retain it. The best way to incorporate a new word into your repertoire is to study it repeatedly. Read the definition in the morning; repeat this in the afternoon. Write it down. Look at it from different angles. Try to use it in sentences as often as you can. Meditate on it in the evening. This is how you learn.

This same principle can be applied to all learning. Don’t just read something once and hope to get the most out of it. Study it multiple times throughout the day. Write it down. Roll it around. Look at it from different perspectives. Chew on it slowly, repeatedly. Meditate on it from dusk to dawn. Simmer in it until it soaks into your mind. Make this a practice. This is the way to incorporate what you learn into your life. 

 

Love Excludes Prejudice

“My dear brothers and sisters, fellow believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ—how could we say that we have faith in him and yet we favor one group of people above another?” (James 2:1 TPT)

I used to be afraid of all dogs when I was young. Since my family didn’t have pets, my concepts about dogs came mostly from other sources. I saw dogs with sharp teeth barking and jumping in other people’s yards. My parents taught me to keep away since dogs might bite. It  wasn’t until I got my first golden retriever that I finally started to see dogs differently. I am less suspicious of some breeds now. If a strange golden retriever were to walk up to me on the street, I would probably pet it. If a Rottweiler were to do the same, I would not. Both could be friendly. Both could knock me down--resulting in a broken hip. On a superficial level, I can acknowledge this fact--but my instinctive reactions are deeply subconscious. My son jokes that I am prejudiced against different breeds of dogs. This is true. I  prejudge dogs based on their appearance and my limited experience. I am still suspicious of certain breeds while familiar breeds feel less threatening. 

I am ashamed to admit this, but my prejudice extends to humans too. I am instinctively more comfortable around strangers that look like me. I acknowledge that external appearance does not align with character, but my subconscious still operates at a primal level. Denial stunts growth. I have to examine my unconscious biases. I must intentionally excise these mental malignancies. Otherwise, I will continue to inadvertently participate and perpetuate the problem. I cannot claim to follow Christ and show favoritism. This would be hypocritical. Christ taught us to love one another, and love excludes all prejudice. 

Challenging Beliefs

“Let the evildoers be at their worst and the morally filthy continue in their depravity—yet the righteous will still do what is right, and the holy will still be holy.” (Revelations 22:11 TPT)

I have been studying the Book of Revelations for the past few months. I have read many interpretations, commentaries, fictional stories, and extrapolations of this part of the Bible. One thing I am struck by is how everyone believes they are on the side of Good and the opposition is Evil. Not a single person ever believes they are doing evil. I bet Hitler, the Nazi soldiers, those who commit genocide, rapists, racists, those who incite violence--all of them BELIEVE they are on the side of good. This made me realize that what we BELIEVE does not equal TRUTH. 

I believed human beings were basically decent except for a few bad eggs. I believed that people who knew better would do better. I thought that what I believed was true. Despite evidence to the contrary, I still don't want to let go of my "beliefs"--why? Because if I can't see myself and other 'believers' as on the side of good fighting the bad guys, then that shatters everything I believe in! Challenging my long-held beliefs and identity is discombobulating. Thus, I try to either numb myself or distract myself.  I look away. I busy myself with my own problems. I tell myself to mind my own business. I convince myself that evil has always been present, that I am powerless to change anything, and all this is God’s mess to fix. 

 

Sleepwalking

“So let's not sleepwalk through life like those others. Let's keep our eyes open and be smart.” (1 Thessalonians 5:6 MSG)

Sleepwalking, or somnambulism, is a disorder that causes individuals to walk around while they are still asleep. It is most common in children, and they outgrow it by the time they are teens. Spiritual sleepwalking, on the other hand, is more prevalent in adults. Symptoms of this disorder include unexamined beliefs, going through the motions, following familiar standards, mindless rituals, and lack of awareness. 

Are you sleepwalking through life?

Obviously, those who are sleepwalking --physically or spiritually--are unaware of what they are doing. Attempting to wake up an unconscious person is ineffective; it merely leads to disorientation. They may lash out aggressively. What do you do if someone you know is somnambulant?  The best thing to do is to gently turn them in the direction of safety and walk nearby. What if you are the one going through life mindlessly, wandering around in a stupor? Be on guard. Keep your eyes open. Remain alert. 

Responding to Plagues

“Instead of rethinking their actions and glorifying God, they cursed God’s name because He had the power to carry out these plagues.” (Revelations 16:9 VOICE)

For the last year, a pandemic has spread across the world. The effects have been far reaching. Most of us have had to make sacrifices and changes to our lifestyles. Our perspectives on what is important and valuable have shifted. The two questions that I hear most frequently are:

Will things ever go back to the way they were?  

What will the new normal look like? 

Repentance is difficult in the midst of a crisis. It requires a change in perspective and direction. The desire for familiarity and stability is natural, especially when our lives have been upended. That is why our response to the current plague has been mixed. Some are eager to go back to previous lifestyles. They reminisce about the good old days when we could go about our days just as generations before us did. Others are rethinking their actions and changing their ways. They are reevaluating their priorities and correcting the trajectory of their courses. 

Lord, teach me to repent and change my ways. Grant me wisdom and discipline. Help me to honor you by making good choices. 

One Good Thing

“Learn to do good...” (Isaiah 1:17 NLT)

A few months ago, I started spending a few minutes each evening examining what I had done and left undone during the day. The list of leftover chores, failures, and messes always seemed to pop up in my mind without effort. The good things, on the other hand, required active searching and acknowledging. 

Most of us tend to dwell on our deficiencies. This can be helpful if we learn something from our missteps and attempt to change our habits. However, mere self-flagellation is unproductive. Acknowledging positive choices or blessings can be uplifting. It can also teach you to intentionally do good. 

I have learned to do at least one good thing every morning. It doesn’t have to be earth-shattering, but something that I know to be constructive. I pause during my day to notice minor blessings. I search for opportunities to encourage or help. I celebrate the accomplishments of others. 

I am keenly aware of the  suffering and injustice in this world. I am not suggesting that we gloss over any of it with a veneer of positive thinking. We may not have the power to make sweeping changes that have global impact. Yet, all of us can do one good thing daily.

Goal Setting

“Within your heart you can make plans for your future, but the Lord chooses the steps you take to get there.” (Proverbs 16:9 TPT)

The dream of someday running a marathon had been secretly buried in my heart for decades. I would run shorter distances, but 26.2 miles seemed too big of a goal. There were too many hurdles: lack of time, lack of athleticism, knee pain, other commitments, etc. It wasn’t until my late forties that I finally found a coach who helped me to get past my mental blocks. He gave me a training plan and held me accountable. He pushed me to do more than I imagined I could. He taught me to embrace discomfort. In the last three years, I’ve run six marathons and an ultramarathon. These distances do not scare me anymore. I know it will require training, sacrifice, commitment, and pain. However, I also know I can get through it with some direction and accountability.

Now I use the lessons I learned from marathon training to approach other types of goals. I want to be authentic, healthy, circumspect, intentional, resilient, bold, empathetic, and empowering. I yearn to understand Truth and express it. I hope to grow in self-acceptance and gratitude. I desire justice, goodness, and fairness. I do NOT want anyone to suffer--but if there is suffering, I hope it is never squandered. 

God has placed these desires within my heart. I have been given a lifetime to achieve these goals. I am unsure what course the Lord will choose to get me there. But this I know--I need daily instructions and accountability. I have to work toward my goals in small, consistent steps. Procrastination, distraction, and discouragement are hurdles I must overcome. I must keep my eyes focused on the goal, fight the good fight, finish the full course, and keep my heart full of faith. 

 

Doormats and Step Stools

“Love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top.” (Philippians 2:4 MSG)

You can learn more about individuals while observing how they treat others than you can by their external packaging. Especially notice how they treat those who have less power when they think no one is watching. Do they walk all over people thoughtlessly? Or, are they considerate and kind? 

If someone is condescending to their spouse and children, most likely they will continue the pattern with their coworkers and friends, too. Most of us know to stay away from those who trample on others.  No one wants to be a doormat. However, there is a more insidious form of exploitation that I have observed. There are those who treat others like step stools so as to elevate their own status. These are the individuals who intentionally seek out people whom they deem inferior and subordinate in order to make themselves appear superior and dominant. They step on others to get to the top. 

When you love one another, you are not obsessed with getting your own advantage. Deep-spirited friends do not treat each other like doormats or step stools. Instead, these relationships are marked by mutual respect and consideration. The practice of sincere love spills over into all our relationships, whether it be with a spouse, a friend, or a stranger. We find joy in being honorable, generous, and equitable--helping each other grow and bringing the best out of everyone. 

“Love does not brag about one’s achievements nor inflate its own importance. Love does not traffic in shame and disrespect, nor selfishly seek its own honor. Love is not easily irritated or quick to take offense. Love joyfully celebrates honesty and finds no delight in what is wrong. Love is a safe place of shelter, for it never stops believing the best for others.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 TPT)

 

Intuition and Sensitivity

“Who gives intuition to the heart and instinct to the mind?” (Job 38:36 NLT)

My husband and son are highly sensitive to music. I suspect this musical instinct is genetic, because they can hear elements in a song that I don’t even notice. For example, if the background music in our home is inferior in some way, my husband and son become visibly uncomfortable until they can fix the problem. They will stop what they are doing and fiddle with the sound system or turn it off completely. Unlike them, I am able to tune out imperfections in background music and still go about my business. 

I have a friend who has a strong sense of smell. She can detect subtle odors that most of us would not notice. Certain scents give her headaches. I imagine that her hyperosmia is more a burden than a gift. I wonder how miserable she would be around a person who is wearing heavy perfume to cover up body odor! She wouldn’t be able to do anything other than get away from that smell. How awful would it be if she were stuck on an airplane next to such a person! 

Although my musical instincts and my sense of smell are not highly perceptive, I am sensitive in a different way. My intuition picks up on even the slightest hypocrisy, deceit, injustice, inauthenticity, ignorance, indifference, sorrow, greed, degeneracy, and exploitation. Incongruency bothers me. It is painful for me to function when surrounded by dissonance or the stench of insincerity. However, very rarely do I have the power to change the discordance around me. I wish I had the ability to make changes to the system, turn down the volume, or hold my nose--but I do not. All I can do is remove myself from the culture of chaos and opt out of participating in dishonesty. 

Lord, why did you make me sensitive and powerless at the same time? You gave me intuition, but I am unable to influence change. You gave me keen instincts, but I can’t do much to help others. Instead, I feel constantly on edge--knowing but impotent. 

Hard Transtions

“I am doing something brand new, something unheard of. Even now it sprouts and grows and matures. Don’t you perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and open up flowing streams in the desert.” (Isaiah 43:19 TPT)

My aloe vera plant had outgrown its pot. It was time for me to transplant parts of it into a new container. I dug up a few baby plants from the base. I got one with a root still attached, but most of them broke off prematurely. I didn’t have much hope for their survival. I put all of them on the counter for a day to harden them off and replanted them in new pots with fresh soil. Now I am watering and waiting to see if they make it through the next few months. I can’t see what is happening under the soil. Are the plants putting out roots? All I can do is watch the leaves for signs of life and health. 

As I nurture my aloe vera shoots, I am reminded that new beginnings are not always exciting and fun. The transition period is often unfamiliar and uncertain. The possibility of loss and untimely fragmentation can be anxiety-provoking. Since internal growth is hard to observe, despondency can set in. It can feel like a long journey through a dark wilderness. But when God transplants us into new circumstances, we can be assured that He provides ways through the wilderness. He will open up flowing streams in the desert. When God initiates something brand new, something unimaginable, we may not be able to perceive all that is happening in the invisible realms, but we can be confident that things are sprouting and growing and maturing. 

The Stress of Inauthenticity

“A person of honor has honorable plans, and his integrity gives him security.” (Isaiah 32:8 TPT)

There are certain television show characters that are painful to watch. One such role is that of Carol Rance on the comedy series Episodes. Carol is a consummate people-pleaser. She dresses impeccably, says whatever people want to hear, and conforms to the expectations of those around her. Carol’s desire for approval and belonging, even at the expense of her authenticity, ultimately leads to a series of false relationships. She craves connection at work, in friendships, in romantic liaisons--but her insincerity results in disconnection. Her self-sabotaging habits prevent her from having what she wants. Alienated from her true self, she seems constantly stressed and under pressure. Even though Carol Rance is a fictional character, I can’t help but feel pity for her. 

The desperation of people-pleasers is painful to witness. The stress of inauthenticity often leads them to feeling anxious, rejected, and insecure. Their cravings for admiration and acceptance make them targets for manipulation. They fall prey to the bait of belonging, easily getting lured into conforming to the standards of others. 

How can anyone really belong when they are disingenuous?

Is it possible to truly respect a fake person? 

The desire for love, acceptance, and respect are universal. Yet, a person who is false cannot be loved for their true self. Acceptance without authenticity is pointless. Insincerity is inherently dishonorable. People of honor remain true to who they are, accept themselves as they are, and present their genuine selves to the world. A life of  integrity and authenticity is a prerequisite to real love, respect, acceptance, security, and peace.