Intuition and Sensitivity

“Who gives intuition to the heart and instinct to the mind?” (Job 38:36 NLT)

My husband and son are highly sensitive to music. I suspect this musical instinct is genetic, because they can hear elements in a song that I don’t even notice. For example, if the background music in our home is inferior in some way, my husband and son become visibly uncomfortable until they can fix the problem. They will stop what they are doing and fiddle with the sound system or turn it off completely. Unlike them, I am able to tune out imperfections in background music and still go about my business. 

I have a friend who has a strong sense of smell. She can detect subtle odors that most of us would not notice. Certain scents give her headaches. I imagine that her hyperosmia is more a burden than a gift. I wonder how miserable she would be around a person who is wearing heavy perfume to cover up body odor! She wouldn’t be able to do anything other than get away from that smell. How awful would it be if she were stuck on an airplane next to such a person! 

Although my musical instincts and my sense of smell are not highly perceptive, I am sensitive in a different way. My intuition picks up on even the slightest hypocrisy, deceit, injustice, inauthenticity, ignorance, indifference, sorrow, greed, degeneracy, and exploitation. Incongruency bothers me. It is painful for me to function when surrounded by dissonance or the stench of insincerity. However, very rarely do I have the power to change the discordance around me. I wish I had the ability to make changes to the system, turn down the volume, or hold my nose--but I do not. All I can do is remove myself from the culture of chaos and opt out of participating in dishonesty. 

Lord, why did you make me sensitive and powerless at the same time? You gave me intuition, but I am unable to influence change. You gave me keen instincts, but I can’t do much to help others. Instead, I feel constantly on edge--knowing but impotent.